| Chapter 9 |
| written by Crystal |
| He's saying, "Love is like a barren place, and reaching out for human faith is like a journey I just don't have a map for" Lance laid down on his bed and took a deep breath, he'd decided he was going to bare his soul to Jc, a few weeks had passed since that day at the tree, and Lance had yet to tell Jc the full story. Today was the day, and he was determined to tell Jc. He wasn't happy that he was going to tell Jc everything, it was the exact opposite. He was depressed. He was scared that if he told Jc what had happened to him that day, he would feel disgusted, and not want to talk to Lance anymore. He wasn't used to trusting people, in the last years he had only trusted Justin. And that was because Justin could understand his pain. Jc walked into the room, smiling at Lance, but when he took a good look at Lance, the smile faded. "Hey," he said quietly, sensing a despondent mood in Lance. "Hey..." Lance responded. "You seem kind of...mellow," Jc said, sitting down next to Lance. Lance sat up and looked at Jc. "I have something...I want to tell you..." Lance said, trailing off. When he glanced away, he looked sad for a moment, and then when he looked back at Jc, the sadness was replaced by bitterness. "Okay..." Jc said carefully, not wanting to scare Lance into staying quiet. "I had my sis-...someone that...I was..you know. That I liked...boys. I thought I could trust this person, but obviously not. My parents found out and-" Lance stopped, and took a deep breath. "Its okay, you don't have to tell me all at once..." Jc said softly. He ran a hand down Lance's back, to soothe him. "And my parents, they're strict Southern Baptist, so to have a gay son, it was something that was disgusting to them. I disgusted them. Me. James Lance Bass, the perfect son, the perfect brother. The one who was polite to everyone, the one who sang diligently in the church choir, the one who was going to marry the perfect southern belle and have 2.4 kids. The one who was to have a white house, with a white picket fence, and a dog running around the yard. That son was gay. And they couldn't take, so they kicked me out, disowned me, called me names. Well, my father did, my mother just stood there and let him hurt me like that. So I left, I lived with some friends for a couple weeks, and then I encountered my father, drunk with a few other of his drinking buddies. That's when he, he...he and his friends they-.." Lance choked back a sob, and looked at Jc. Jc was taken aback at the pure anguish he saw in Lance's eyes. It was no longer anger or bitterness, but pure, raw pain. Jc wrapped his arms around Lance, and let him sob into his shirt. "Sshh, it's okay, I'm here now. I'll take care of you, " he said softly. He kissed Lance forehead, and let him cry out his pain and frustration. When he was done crying, Lance lifted his head and tried to smile at Jc. "Thanks," he said. "Anytime," Jc replied. ---------- "...and so that's what happened today. Lance didn't tell me the whole story, but I couldn't force it out of him, I didn't want to." Jc said, as he finished explaining his session with Chris. Chris sat back in his chair, he had nothing to say. For once in his life, Christopher Kirkpatrick was speechless. "Wow, I mean.." Chris stuttered out. "Yeah..." Jc agreed, "I didn't know that his experience was so...painful." Jc couldn't find the right word to describe the look his saw in Lance's eyes. He leaned back in his chair and glanced at his watch. The door closed suddenly, and Chris shot out his chair, opened the door and look down the hall, he could see Justin's retreating form, racing down the hallway. "Shit..." was all he said, leaning against the open door. "What?" Jc asked. "That was Justin, I think he heard. Oh God...if he heard what you told me. He'll tell Lance and Lance will-" Chris cut himself off, not wanting to think of the consequence. "Oh shit..." Jc realized. "You're right. Lance might get pissed off, close off again. God damn it, why? Just when I've made some progress..." Chris sighed and closed the door, he went back to his seat and looked at Jc. "What are you going to do?" "I don't know, Chris. I truly don't know..." |