Part1FromADistance

JC sighed.

How the hell did his fans know he was gay?

It wasn�t like he made it obvious, or at least he hoped he didn�t.

Ok, so he�d worn some flaming clothes a few times and talked about Joey a lot when he missed a day on the Making The Video of �Pop�.

Oops.

He really didn�t mean to go on and on about Joey like he was obsessed.

He couldn�t help it though; he was truly worried about Joey.

The guys knew he was gay, and none of them had a problem with it, unless they hadn�t told him yet. Sometimes, when he�d wear hideously flaming outfits, one of the guys would tell him to change into something more normal looking. And he listened to them, because he didn�t want to be found out.

So, about the whole Joey thing.

Of course he was going to be worried about Joey, he was like a brother to JC. Justin had said things about being worried too, why wasn�t he the one being called gay?

JC never ever wanted the press to find out. *Nsync would be ruined and he didn�t think he could live with himself if he caused something like that.

That�s why he got worried when the fans thought he was gay.

He knew all about fanfiction. He�d even read a few at one point. He also knew about slash. Why people would spend their time pretending celebrities were gay was beyond him. He supposed all the guys had acted a little gay at some point, or worn clothing that someone would call gay.

But that didn�t mean they were.

Not that he could do anything about it.

But he had bigger problems on his mind now.

He loved one of his best friends.

And not just a friendly kind of love, he lusted after his best friend.

It actually made him feel kind of dirty.

He knew that Lance was straight and would never fall in love with him.

He also knew that he could never tell Lance how he felt.

That would destroy their friendship.

So, when he was feeling sad and depressed, as he was now, he�d talk to Joey.

Joey was the perfect friend. He would listen to JC ramble on and on about how depressing it was to sit around and see Lance without being able to touch him, to watch Lance dance in the clubs late at night and not be able to dance with him.

Joey knew how he felt because Joey loved Chris. Joey couldn�t really give JC any real advice because his relationship with Chris was just in its beginning stages. The relationship the had gone past friendship. See, Joey had the balls to tell Chris how he felt, and amazingly Chris hadn�t minded. Chris had actually been questioning his sexuality when Joey had come to him. So they were in a brand new relationship.

All Joey could offer for advice was to tell Lance how he felt. But JC knew he couldn�t do that. He wouldn�t be able to deal with the disgust in Lance�s eyes or the frown on his face.

Lance was the straightest of straight, or at least that�s what JC thought. He would never be able to say he loved JC back and so JC knew he needed to move on and get over the impossible crush he had.

And he knew the perfect solution.

Ok, it wasn�t perfect, it was actually a horrible idea, but he did it anyway. He went out to a club, searching for a guy and desperately needing to get laid.

He figured that sex would be a great distraction for him.

So he smiled when he saw a dark haired man eyeing him from the corner of the club, and he couldn�t get over to him fast enough. They left, heading towards JC�s limo. Once inside, desperate to forget about Lance for the night, JC plunged forward, landing in the man�s lap and kissing him furiously.

When they exited the limo, they were both breathing hard, their faces flushed and lips pink. They�d barely made it to the elevator when JC kissed this strange man again, shoving his tongue into the man�s mouth and receiving on in his mouth in return.

They were about to tear each other�s shirts off when the elevator doors opened. JC looked out cautiously, making sure no one was watching, and then stepped into his room, the dark haired man at his side. He didn�t bother turning the lights on, but instead ripped the man�s shirt off and lowered his head to take a nipple into his mouth. He was suddenly aware of the man�s hands at his waist, pulling open his leather pants, but he didn�t move to stop him. The man dropped to his knees, and took JC�s heat into his mouth greedily.

But they both froze when the lights turned on and JC heard an all too familiar voice from behind him. �Shit,� he thought to himself when he heard Lance say his name again.

�Shit, shit, shit,� he repeated in his head. He didn�t need this right now. He turned around slowly, after putting himself back into his jeans and zipping, and he looked at Lance.

Lance was blushing profusely, obviously very embarrassed by what he�d almost witnessed. He�d covered his eyes, as if trying to get rid of the memory.

JC asked the man to leave quickly, apologizing many times, and turned back to Lance. His eyes were still covered.

�He�s gone now, Lance,� JC whispered.

�Um, I� Sorry, Josh, I didn�t mean to interrupt you. I um, just came in here because I wanted to talk to you, and when you weren�t here, I thought I�d wait. Sorry,� Lance apologized, hanging his head.

�God, Lance, I�m so sorry you had to see that. I know you had some trouble accepting me being gay and you did *not* need to see that. This is all my fault. I just invited him here to forget about how much I want�� he blushed as he realized that he�d almost said �how much I want you.�

�How much you want what, Josh?� Lance asked, finally able to look Josh in the eyes.

�Um, I didn�t mean that, I � you see�� JC trailed off as he couldn�t think of an excuse to cover his mistake. He looked anywhere but at Lance.

�Josh?� Lance asked, and then continued when JC looked up at him, �you can tell me anything, you know that right? I�m here for you.�

That right there broke JC down. He�d never heard such worry and care in Lance�s voice before. It made him want to cry, partly because Lance cared so much, and partly because he�d hurt Lance by making him worry.

Lance�s heart jumped as he saw tears streaming down JC�s cheeks. He rushed over, just as JC�s legs gave out. Lance held him close, wondering what could be wrong. �Josh, what�s wrong? Why are you so upset?� he asked quietly, rubbing JC�s back.

JC waited until he had calmed down enough before speaking, �I don�t know if I can tell you, Lance, you�ll hate me for it.�

�I could never hate you, Josh, please tell me. It hurts to see you this way,� Lance admitted softly.

JC looked up into Lance�s eyes and knew that he couldn�t keep anything from him. He had to tell him, and even if Lance didn�t love him back, he�d be ok just loving Lance from a distance. That was the way it had to be.