Part2ComingCloser

Lance sighed.

He had just left JC�s hotel room. He�d stayed there for a long time.

He had been so worried when JC hadn�t been home when he�d gone over to JC�s room earlier. And when JC had arrived with that guy, Lance had felt like his heart was breaking into two.

He now realized that he should thank that guy. That guy, only a random man from a club, had helped Lance realized how much he cared for JC.

When JC had burst into tears, Lance had felt that very same feeling deep in his chest. His heart had broken for JC. JC had seemed so upset, and was worried that Lance would be mad at what JC had to tell him. It had taken a long time, but Lance was finally able to convince JC to tell him his �secret� as JC had referred to it.

JC had stuttered and stumbled over his words until he finally got out, �I love you.� And Lance had known that it wasn�t just as a brother or a friend. He�d known it because of the way JC was crying, the way his eyes crinkled as he said it, and the tone of voice he said it in.

Lance hadn�t really known what to do. He knew he couldn�t do what he�d really wanted which was to jump up and dance around. He knew that would probably have confused JC.

He hadn�t wanted to freak JC out, but he knew he had. He�d paused for a long time after JC had told him. He�d looked down, trying to figure out how to react. The room had filled with silence for a good ten minutes.

But when he looked back up into JC�s eyes, he�d seen the fear of rejection.

And that had made him move. He didn�t want JC to think he was uncaring.

So he�d scooped JC�s body up and pulled it against him. They�d stayed like that for a long time, both just enjoying the feeling of the other against them.

Although he was wrapped in Lance�s arms, JC was still worrying about what would happen next.

And Lance was trying to figure out what to do next.

He usually had time to plan out his actions, know what to do, what to say. They�d worked on that for hours with their PR guy. They had to know what was ok to say and what was not.

But he�d never been good with surprises. He never knew what to say.

Or how to react.

And this was the surprise of all surprises.

So until he could think of something to do, something to say, he just sat there with JC in his arms.

JC didn�t ever want to leave Lance�s arms. It was so comfortable there. It felt so right.

And that�s what scared Lance. It felt so right to have JC in his arms.

When he felt JC pull away from him, his heart leapt up into his throat and he tried to think of something to say.

�Uh, Lance?� JC whispered and Lance could feel his breath on his neck.

�Yeah, Jace?� Lance said, trying to buy a little more time to think of something to say. He hoped JC wouldn�t ask something he couldn�t answer.

�Um, so what happens now?� JC asked, cautiously.

�Shit,� Lance thought to himself, �that would qualify as a question I can�t answer. What do I say?�

�Um, I�m not sure yet,� Lance answered.

�But you�re ok with this? With the way I feel?� JC asked.

�Ok?,� Lance thought, �I�m more than ok. I�m awesome.� But he pushed the thoughts away.

�Yeah, I�m ok with it,� Lance said, and then closed his mouth tightly, not trusting himself to stay quiet about his feelings.

�Is that all? There�s nothing more?� JC asked, sadly.

He�d wanted Lance to react differently. He�d pictured the perfect reaction in his head. Lance would smile as JC said the words, and give JC a quick kiss before saying, �I love you, too.�

But that wasn�t the way things had happened. And there was nothing he could do.

But he still longed for Lance to love him, to hold him.

He knew he should be thankful that Lance was still letting him within a few feet of him.

But he couldn�t stop thinking about how it could�ve been different.

And how much he wished it had been different.

But there was nothing he could do now.

He�d have to deal with loving Lance from afar, but only now Lance knew.

�There may be more,� Lance whispered so softly that JC wouldn�t have heard it if he hadn�t been sitting so close to Lance still. And JC�s heart soared.