NotWhatHeSeems12

*Justin�s Point-Of-View*

I sat outside Lance�s hospital room while he was talking to the policeman. I didn�t know what to think. My boyfriend had been raped. My boyfriend of only one day. Why did this have to happen to us? I had finally gotten what I�d wanted for so long, and now this had happened.

And I didn�t know what to do. I wasn�t sure that I was strong enough to control my emotions about the situation while supporting Lance and helping him get better. But how was I supposed to control my emotions when all I wanted to do was hunt down whoever did this and kill them? Make them pay for what they did to Lance. I wanted revenge. I knew I just had to pray that the police would find the criminal.

I looked up, startled, when I felt a hand on my arm. It was Chris. He was smiling down at me sadly. Well, if it could be called a smile. I could tell he was really miserable, but he was trying to be strong for me, for the group.

�How are you holding up, J?� he asked me cautiously. He was searching my eyes for any sign of what I was feeling. I almost snapped some snide remark, but stopped myself. He was only trying to help.

�Not too good. How could anyone do this to him? I mean, it�s Lance,� I replied, leaning my elbows on my knees and burying my head in my hands.

�I don�t know, J, I don�t know,� Chris said, rubbing my back comfortingly. �You know, Joey and I have been talking. Josh still hasn�t showed up. We asked the guards if they saw him leave, and one of them said they did. He said that Josh left at eight thirty and that he looked like he was in a rush. The doctor� he said that the rape must have occurred at around eight o�clock.�

�How does he know?� I sniffled, not wanting to believe that Josh had done it.

�I�m not sure, they have some way they can tell how long it�s been,� Chris answered unsurely.

�Do you really think Josh did it?� I asked, letting the tears come. �How could he?�

�Well, I don�t know, Justin, but it�s not looking too good for him. Let�s not come to any conclusions just yet, but it�s definitely a possibility. If Josh calls you, if you hear from him, tell the police right away, ok?� Chris explained.

�Ok,� I agreed sadly, pulling my knees up to my chest and resting my head on my knees. What if Josh had done this? What would happen then?

****

The policeman came out of Lance�s room about half and hour later. I looked up at him questioningly, but he just shrugged. �I couldn�t get much,� he informed me.

I sighed. Someone would have to get Lance to talk. I was pretty sure that he knew who had done *that* to him, but I knew he wouldn�t say it until he was ready. In the meantime, I was worried that it really *was* Josh. I tried to push that thought to the back of my mind as I got up to go and talk to Lance.

I entered his room quietly, not wanting to wake him if he was asleep. He opened his eyes as I went to stand next to the bed, and I tried to smile down at him. �Hey baby,� I greeted him, placing my hand over his.

�Hi,� he replied, attempting to return the smile. It almost worked, too. That was all I wanted right then. To see him smile and have him mean it. But I knew that was impossible.

�Feel any better?� I asked curiously.

�Yeah, much better actually, but they�ve got me pretty drugged up,� he told me.

�Well, at least you aren�t in pain,� I pointed out.

�Yeah,� he agreed, and then a silence settled over us.

�Lance?� I asked suddenly.

He looked up with a curious look in his eyes. �Yeah, baby?� he asked.

I sighed when he called me baby. I was worried that he would turn away from me, not want me anymore because of what had happened to him. �You know I love you, right?� I asked quietly.

�Yes,� he responded, �I love you too, Justin. Please don�t ever leave me.�

�I won�t,� I promised. And then I realized that I meant what I�d said with all my heart.

****

Lance had to stay in the hospital over night and most of the next day. They wanted to make sure that he had stopped bleeding, and that he was generally ok to go home. Finally, the next night they decided that he could go home, but not be by himself. We had to stay in the area until Josh was found, and I was worried that going back to the same hotel would bother Lance too much.

When I asked him, he didn�t seem to care. �I just don�t want to go back in that room,� he said to me.

�Would our room be ok?� I asked cautiously.

�Of course, Justin. I�m not going to stay away from you just because some jerk did that to me. My feelings haven�t changed,� he assured me.

My relief was probably obvious to him. �Ok,� I replied, �let�s go home.�

When we arrived at the hotel, I helped Lance up to our room, with Chris and Joey right behind us. He wasn�t in much pain, but he still had a little trouble walking. I was worried about what would happen when the strong medicine from the hospital wore off. I instructed Chris and Joey to go to the pharmacy and get all the prescriptions that the doctors had given us.

I somehow got Lance into pajama pants and a tee shirt and then helped him into bed. I could tell he was exhausted. And I was right. About three minutes after I laid him down, he was fast asleep. I kissed him lovingly on the forehead and went into the living area to think.

I couldn�t stand the silence, so I pulled out my cell phone and dialed the number of my best friend � my mom.

�Hello?�

�Mommy?� I asked, knowing I sounded childish, but not caring at that moment.

�Justin? Baby? What�s wrong?� she questioned, sensing my sadness.

�Something happened to Lance, mom,� I whispered quietly.

�What? Is he ok?� she asked franticly. I briefly thought about how Lance�s mom must have reacted when Johnny had contacted her. I had heard that she was on her way here.

�Yeah, he�s ok now. Well, kinda. He was�. he� someone raped him, mom,� I said, hardly able to get it out.

�Oh my God, is he ok?� she asked. I could hear tears in her voice. I knew that all the guys were like sons to her.

�Well, we just got back from the hospital. He�s not bleeding anymore, and he isn�t in much pain, but when the meds wear off�� I trailed off.

�Oh that poor baby,� she murmured.

�Yeah,� I sighed. �His mom is coming soon I think.�

�Would you like me to come, baby? I�ll be there as soon as I can,� she assured me.

�Could you?� I asked before breaking down. My mom stayed on the phone with me until I calmed down. She cried with me as she tried to assure me that everything would be ok. But I wasn�t sure if anything would ever be ok again.

****

Chris and Joey came home soon, and we all sat together on the couch, crying. We didn�t know what else to do. Both of them had called their mothers, but had convinced them to stay home. I felt like a baby with my mom coming, but the guys assured me that it was good that she was coming.

After we had all calmed down, we turned the TV on a watched it silently. None of us knew what to say. Suddenly, we heard a huge racket down the hall. I jumped up to see what was going on. When I opened the door, my jaw drooped in shock.