NotWhatHeSeems11

*Lance�s Point-Of-View*

When I woke up, I had no idea where I was. It was kind of dark, except for a small lamp across the room. There was warmth all around me. I tried to move and winced as pain shot up my body starting at my�

And then I remember that happened. It hadn�t been a dream, it was real. Tears came to my eyes as I relived what Josh had done to me. And to think that I�d had a crush on him. it was all my fault. I moved my head a little and then pulled back, realizing that it was on someone else�s chest. �Oh please, God, don�t let it be Josh. I was supposed to be gone before he got back! He�ll kill me!� I thought to myself. I tried to squirm out of the person�s arms, but they�d woken up and wouldn�t let go.

I panicked, not knowing what to do. I wanted to get away. Then the person leaned down and whispered into my ear, �Lance, it�s ok, it�s Justin. Calm down, Lance.�

The voice was soothing, but I was just so scared. And Justin, he�d hate me if he found out why Josh did this to me. But I wasn�t going to tell anyone anyway. I was going to keep it a secret, just like Josh had told me too. I didn�t want to die.

�Say something, Lance,� Justin begged, his voice shaking. I looked up slowly, wincing in pain, and saw his eyes filled with tears.

�Don�t cry,� I said, reaching up to wipe away the tears.

�Lance, I love you, how could anyone do this to you?� Justin asked, burying his face into my neck.

�It�s all my fault,� I whispered, feeling so horribly guilty for hurting Josh and causing Justin to hurt as well. Maybe I just wasn�t a good person.

�How can you say that, Lance? You did nothing to deserve this� no one deserves this,� Justin whispered to me, as there was a knock on the door.

I froze, praying that it wasn�t Josh. My prayers were answered as a doctor entered the room. �What?� I started to ask, but Justin shushed me.

�You need to be checked out, Lance,� he told me, grabbing my hand.

�No, no one can know about this!� I screamed, startling everyone else. I hadn�t known all the guys were in the room. They all looked at me with worried eyes. �Sorry,� I muttered, �but I don�t want any one to find out about this. Please don�t tell anyone, Justin.�

�I�m sorry, Lance, but we need to find out who did this to you,� Justin apologized, and my eyes widened at his words.

�No!� I yelled, shrinking away from his touch. �No one can know! Do you hear me?�

�I�m sorry, we already called the police. They�re on their way over,� Justin explained sadly.

�No!� I screamed, my body shaking with sobs. The police couldn�t come. Then Josh would think I told everyone. Then he�d kill me. But I didn�t want to die. I wanted to live to be old. I wanted to be in a relationship with Justin for more than a day. I wanted to get married and have children. And grand children. Now I wouldn�t be able to. Because Josh was going to get me.

�Baby, Lance,� Justin said, trying to calm me. He moved over so he was next to me again, �I love you, sweetie, please, we need to find who did it. And we need to lock them away. No one will ever hurt you again.�

�I hurt right now,� I cried, wishing I could just fall asleep so the pain would go away. The doctor had finished talking to Joey and Chris and he moved over to the bed where Justin and I were lying.

�Is it ok to do the exam now?� he asked carefully, not wanting Lance to yell again.

�Yeah,� Justin answered for me, looking over to make sure I agreed too.

�Yeah,� I said sadly. So the doctor started his exam. He jumped up a few seconds later and told someone to call 911. I was still bleeding and he wanted me to be taken to the hospital. I cried the entire time, just wanted to go back to me and Justin�s room and lay in his arms. I hated Josh so much at that moment. It was my fault, but why did he have to hurt me so bad?

****

I woke up later, again having no idea where I was. I felt someone beside me and opened my eyes, wanting to know who it was. I tried to smile when I saw Justin standing there. �What happened?� I asked, confused.

�You don�t remember?� Justin questioned, surprised.

And it all came back to me � again. The remembering when I just woke up was the worst. It kept thinking it was just a dream, but it wasn�t. I looked around as I became more aware of my surroundings.

�No, I do remember, now. We�re in the hospital?� I asked.

�Yeah,� Justin replied. �The doctors wanted to do some tests. As soon as we left in the ambulance, the police came. They found some, well, some semen on the sheets and wanted to check it out. They figured if they found some that wasn�t yours, they�d be able to figure out who did this. You don�t remember who did it?�

I tried to decide whether to lie or not. If the police found out that it was Josh from the semen, they would find out anyway. Josh would kill him even though he really wasn�t the one to tell. I think Justin was starting to get suspicious, so I just muttered, �no.�

He seemed to accept it, but he frowned. I frowned too. What was I supposed to do now?

****

The next time I woke up, I found Justin, Joey, Chris, and a nurse standing around me. The nurse was checking my blood pressure and something else, and the guys were talking softly. They stopped when they noticed that I was wake.

�Hey,� Justin said softly, moving closer as the nurse left the room.

�Hey,� I replied, trying to smile up at the guys, but not succeeding.

�How are you feeling?� Joey asked, looking like he regretted it the second it came out of his mouth.

I grabbed his hand and pulled him closer, Chris coming closer with him, to show him that I knew what he meant.

�Better than before,� I admitted honestly.

�Well that�s good,� Chris commented, patting my leg.

�So what happens now?� I asked curiously. �When can I go home?�

�Soon,� Justin assured me. �They finished doing the tests, we�re just waiting for results. But there�s a policeman here that wants to talk to you. Is that ok?�

�I guess so,� I admitted weakly. �I knew that since they had already contacted the police, I might as well talk to them.

�Good, we�ll go get him,� Chris said, bringing Joey out of the room with him. It was like they knew that I wanted to be alone with Justin. It really didn�t matter to me as long as I was with Justin right then.

�I love you,� I whispered softly.

Justin�s eyes filled with tears. �I love you too, baby. This will all be over soon. Whoever did this to you will go to jail and then we can continue on with our lives.�

I knew that our lives wouldn�t just continue on like they should because if Josh was put in jail, *Nsync wouldn�t be *Nsync anymore. And *Nsync was my life. I just prayed that everything would end up ok. It was all I could do.