Mchapter14

Josh loved to go jogging. It was just him and the road. He often talked out loud, telling his frustrations and fears to the road because the road always listened. He felt safe and peaceful while jogging, especially early in the morning. He�d come to cherish the mornings because it gave him a lot of time to think about, and cherish the life he had.

First his thoughts went to Leah. She was his savior. If he hadn�t had her all these years, he wasn�t sure that he would�ve made it. She could always cheer him up with he was sad, and he always had a great time with her. She was his best friend. And he loved that fact.

Then there was Joey. Joey was a great friend. He was always there for Josh when he needed someone to talk to. And Josh was there for him too. Josh had helped Joey through many harsh breakups. Many people thought that since Joey was a flirt, he would be a one-night-stand type of guy. But only Josh and Leah knew that all Joey wanted was to find the one for him. Josh wanted his friend to be happy, just like Joey wanted him to be happy.

Justin was a new person in his life. Josh had met Justin only a few times before Leah had gone to the prom with him. Josh really liked him. Justin was a funny guy and Josh knew that he was good for Leah. And after that talk Josh had had with Justin, he trusted Justin completely with his daughter. He was a little wary about letting them go out at night again, but that was understandable. All in all, Josh could tell that Justin would become a good friend.

Lance. Josh sighed happily as he thought of Lance. Lance who had saved his daughter. Lance who had stayed at the hospital to make sure Leah was ok. Lance who�d brought him coffee just when Josh had been craving it. Lance who�d come to his �thank you dinner� only to thank Josh for inviting him. Josh laughed a little at that. Lance was such a gentleman. He�d helped Josh clear the table and do the dishes. He�d snuggled up to Josh while they watched the movie. And he�d fallen asleep in Josh�s arms. Josh knew that he cared very deeply for Lance already. He knew that that could be dangerous, but he also knew that it could be the start of something great.

Josh broke out of his thoughts for a second and was surprised to find himself back at his house already. Where had all the time gone? He wiped the sweat from his brow and headed back into the house.

****

Leah grabbed some bowels and spoons and got out all the cereal from the cupboards. �What kind do you like?� she asked Justin.

�Oh, any kind is fine,� Justin responded.

�Nope, you have to choose buddy,� Leah told him, smiling.

�Fine, fine. I�ll have�� Justin started, trying to decide between Frosted Flakes and Apple Jacks.

�Come *on* Justin, this isn�t a life or death decision. Just pick one!� Leah joked, her eyes sparkling with amusement.

�Um� I pick�� Justin said, looking over at Leah with a grin.

�Uhhh!� Leah sighed in frustration.

Justin just laughed. �Ok, I want� Apple Jacks,� he told her finally.

�Geez, took ya long enough to decide!� Leah exclaimed, smiling.

�Yeah, well, I�m picky with my breakfast,� Justin said simply.

They both jumped a little as they heard someone come in the house. Josh walked into the kitchen with a smile on his face. "Good morning you two, did you sleep well?� he asked cheerfully.

Justin froze. �Oh no,� he thought, �I forgot about last night. He must have come to check on us when we were asleep and saw us together.�

Josh saw Justin froze and knew what he was thinking. �Before you answer, yeah I did go into Leah�s room last night to check on you two and you were asleep. So I just let you be. And it�s fine with me, I trust both of you,� Josh told them.

Justin looked a lot more relaxed once Josh finished talking. �Thanks dad,� Leah said, walking over to kiss his cheek. �How was your night with Lance?�

�It was great,� Josh replied with a smile.

�That�s all?� Leah asked, �you�re not going to tell me more?�

�Maybe later, but right now I have something I have to do,� Josh told her.

�Yeah, like shower,� Leah said, smiling to show that she was only kidding.

�Ohh, good one,� Josh retorted. �But seriously, I�m going to your mother�s grave this morning.�

�Oh,� Leah replied, and she stopped laughing immediately, �do you want me to come?�

�No, I�ll be ok. I�m going to say goodbye to her, Leah. It�s been so long and I just need some closure,� Josh informed her and Justin.

�Oh dad, are you sure you�ll be ok?� Leah questioned, wanting to be sure.

�Yeah, this is something I have to do. I�ll be ok though. And after today I can move on. I�m going to see Lance this afternoon,� Josh said, smiling widely.

�That�s great dad, you�re perfect for each other,� Leah responded, grinning at how happy her father looked.

�Yeah, I hope you�re right,� Josh replied, heading out of the kitchen. �You two be good. Oh wait! Justin, your mother called this morning. She was really worried about you. I told her I�d send you home when you woke up, but you can stay longer if you like. Just call her and tell her,� Josh told Justin.

�Oh shoot, I forgot to call her last night!� Justin exclaimed, �was she mad?�

�Nah, she was just really worried about you,� Josh informed him.

�Ok, thanks,� Justin said.

�You two be good, you hear? And Leah, leave me a note if you�re going to go anywhere,� Josh asked.

�You know we�ll be perfect angels, right Justin?� Leah joked.

�Right,� Justin replied with a smile.

�Suure you will,� Josh responded, rolling his eyes. �Well, I�m going to take that shower you suggested, Leah, and then I�ll be off. I�m not sure when I�ll be home,� Josh said before heading upstairs.

�You�re dad�s really cool, Leah,� Justin commented once Josh had gone upstairs.

�Yeah, he�s great,� Leah replied with a smile. Then she and Justin sat down together at the table to eat their cereal.

****

Josh drove to the cemetery in silence, trying to calm himself. He was very nervous. It would be the last time he�d go visit Christi. He loved and missed her dearly, but he knew that it wouldn�t be fair to Lance if he kept dwelling on the past. It also wouldn�t be fair to him. he needed to move on. �She wouldn�t have wanted me to live my whole life alone,� Josh thought to himself, �I need to do this.�

When Josh arrived at the cemetery, he stepped out of the car and walked across to the back of the cemetery where Christi�s gave was located. He�d stopped on the way to buy some flowers, daisies to be exact, because he had a tradition of bringing flowers with him to place on her grave. Daisies had been Christi�s favorite flower.

Josh stepped up to Christi�s grave, feeling tears come to his eyes. He missed her so much. He knelt down, burying his face in his hands as he cried his last tears for her. After he�d stopped crying, he placed the flowers onto the grave and smiled sadly. �I love you, Christi,� he whispered.

And as he walked back to his car, he felt like a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders. He felt something he hadn�t felt in years. Freedom. He still loved Christi, but now he could move on. He could move on to Lance.