| Chapter 3 |
| When Justin came out of the bathroom, Lance was no longer in the bedroom. Justin sighed, knowing the guys were probably already there. He wanted to tell them, but he wasn�t sure if he�d be able to keep himself from crying. Thinking about it was painful, and he knew telling it would be worse. Four pairs of eyes were on him as he entered the living room. Three of the men immediately stood and made their way to him, each taking their turns hugging him. They each whispered their regrets and sympathies in his ear, and he felt better suddenly, knowing that he had four best friends that would be there for him. He sat down on the couch beside Lance with a sigh. All the guys sat around the room, their eyes focused on him. �Thanks for coming, guys,� Justin whispered. �You don�t need to thank us, Justin, we want to be here for you,� Chris said softly. Justin smiled slightly before starting his story. �My mom called a few hours ago, and she was crying, so I knew something was wrong. She somehow managed to tell me that grandma passed away, and we cried together for a while. I didn�t want to hang up with her because then I knew I�d be alone. And I didn�t think I had the energy to go get any of you. So anyway, we sat in silence for a while and when we hung up, I fell asleep,� he explained, taking a deep breath. This was the hard part. �It�s ok, Justin, take it slowly,� Lance said, rubbing Justin�s back soothingly. �Well, my grandma had a lot of problems. She smoked for many years when she was younger, so that didn�t help. She also had blood circulation problems and she bruised really easily. We�re still not sure exactly what happened, but we think she had a heart attack. They aren�t going to do a biopsy though because my grandpa doesn�t want us to. So we�ll never really know,� Justin finished, sniffling. The guys stayed silent, none of them knowing what to say. None of them had lost their grandparents, or at least when they were old enough to really understand what happened. Justin was the first, but just because it was his grandma didn�t mean the others weren�t hurting. They hurt for him, with him. Lance continued to rub Justin�s back as Joey, who was sitting on his other side, pulled him into a hug. Josh grabbed one of his hands, squeezing tightly. Chris placed his hand on Justin�s knee, and they all sat together, mourning the loss of the woman they all felt so close to. Of the group, Josh was the only one who had met Justin�s grandma, but the rest of them felt like they knew her because Justin talked about her so much. He�d tell them stories of his childhood, laughing as he re-lived the memories. When he learned something knew about her, he�d tell them, and they�d come to respect her so much. She was such a wonderful lady. And now she was gone. Justin sighed again, not knowing what to do. �What am I supposed to do now?� he thought aloud. �I don�t know,� Lance replied, �I really don�t know.� �Do you know when the funeral is?� Josh asked. �Yeah, we all want to go and be there for you,� Joey commented. �Um, I don�t know. I think mom was going to call me back once she found out the details. I have to go home soon,� Justin replied. �I�ll call Johnny and ask him to get us a flight tonight,� Lance said, getting up to use the phone. Justin whimpered when Lance left his side, and if the others noticed, they didn�t say anything. Lance returned soon, letting them all know that they needed to pack their bags because they had a flight in a few hours. They were supposed to do interviews and an appearance on a TV show the next day, but suddenly that didn�t matter anymore. Justin, and the pain he was feeling, was more important. **** Two days later, they were all settled into Justin�s house. He had asked them all to stay with him, and none of them had had the heart to say no to his teary request. He seemed to be very clingy, but it was understandable. He didn�t like to let Lance, in particular, out of his sight. Lance found that strange, he and Justin had never been extremely close like they were now, but he wasn�t going to complain. He felt so guilty that he hadn�t told Justin how he felt. He kept thinking that maybe he was taking advantage of the situation. He hoped that once he told Justin, if ever, that Justin didn�t think he was hanging out with Justin for selfish reasons. He really loved Justin, and just wanted the best for him. Whatever Justin wanted, he tried to get for him. It hurt because the one thing Justin really wanted � to have his grandma back � was something Lance couldn�t get. He knew that Justin would just have to live each day, and that he would eventually stop being so upset about it. It would always sit in the back of his mind, it would always be there, but maybe it wouldn�t sting so badly. **** The night of the wake was especially hard for Justin for the obvious reasons, and Lance stayed by his side the entire time. He whispered comforting word into Justin�s ear and gave him an occasional hug when he looked especially upset. That night, after they�d gone to bed, Lance woke to see Justin standing beside his bed. �Justin?� he asked curiously. �I can�t sleep,� Justin explained, sniffling. �Come here,� Lance said softly, motioning for Justin to come closer to the bed. He sat down on the edge of the bed and Lance sat up, pulling Justin into his arms. They somehow ended up so that they were lying down, Lance holding Justin closely and running his hands through Justin�s curls. The next morning when Lance woke up, Justin was gone. He couldn�t stop himself from feeling disappointed. But then he reminded himself that Justin wasn�t gay, that he didn�t want Lance. He was just upset about his grandma and he needed to be comforted. But why had he picked Lance? That�s what Lance wanted to know. |