| Chapter 14 |
| rehearsal the next day [was] a problem, just not the problem justin originally anticipated. jc simply did not show up at the warehouse when they were set to begin. they waited for him for half-an-hour, then they called his apartment six times, but each time there was no answer. finally, justin, who had been quiet all morning, said, "i'll go talk to him. he's there, at home, i know it. i'll go talk to him." justin started towards the door, but lance stopped him. "you need a ride, right?" justin blushed. "yeah, thanks, man." lance smiled. "sure." as they walked out of the warehouse, chris yelled to them, "bring that lazy-ass chasez here pronto. we've got work to do!" "got it," justin said, though he wasn't sure he was going to be able to convince jc of anything. lance dropped justin off outside jc's apartment building, and handed him the extra set of keys. justin smiled and took the keys, saying to lance, "come back for me in an hour?" lance nodded, then, as an afterthought added, "be careful, j. i'm not sure what's going on w/ c, so just be careful, ok?" "i will," justin promised, and he ducked out of lance's car. justin pounded on jc's door for a few minutes, calling, "josh? jc? it's justin!" but when there was still no answer, he sighed and let himself in. justin tiptoed to jc's bedroom, and when he looked in the open door, just as justin had anticipated, there was jc, lying on his back on top of the covers in nothing but his boxer-briefs. "hi justin," jc whispered. justin entered his friend's room. "come here, kid, i don't bite." justin walked over to jc and sat down on the bed. "jayce, you're supposed to be at rehearsal, remember?" jc ignored justin's pointed reminder and said instead, "i knew you'd come." "what's that s'posed to mean?" justin asked, honestly confused. "you knew i'd come here to kick your ass for skipping rehearsal? well, let's go then. chris and joey and lance are waiting. come on." justin grabbed jc's hand to pull him off the bed, but jc didn't budge. he locked his fingers with justin's instead. "come here," jc said, his voice a sexy whisper. justin shut his eyes tight, willing himself not to be turned on. a zillion things raced around his mind. [my god, he wants me, i can sense it radiating off him and he looks so good and that voice, my god, and i want him want him want him and he's lying there, looking delicious and sexy and i'm only fourteen, god, how am i s'posed to resist this?] and then jc was sitting up and running a finger over justin's cheek and justin was crying and jc was brushing his lips over justin's and justin was sighing into the kiss, letting himself go, letting himself get hard as a rock in anticipation of jc slamming into him and making him tremble and then jc was kissing him harder and murmuring "i knew you'd come back to me, i love you, j, i love you," and then, in a flash, justin was pushing jc away and he was running, running out of jc's apartment and down the street and he was crying his eyes out. [this can't be happening he doesn't still love me and i love lance lance lance not josh and god what do i do? how does this end?] when justin couldn't breathe anymore, he collapsed onto a bus-stop bench and sobbed. he cried until a soft hand touched his shoulder and asked, softly, "baby? are you ok?" at first justin thought [it must be jc after me] and he shied away, but then he realized it was lance and that he was safe if lance was there. he wouldn't do anything bad anymore, he couldn't kiss jc anymore if lance was there. justin let lance gather him into his arms and smooth down his curls and shhh him like the baby justin was always trying not to be."shhh," lance cooed, "baby j, shhh. what happened? you took off like a rocket." "you came back for me," justin sniffled, "when i needed you, you were here." "of course, j, i waited for you cause what the hell would we do at rehearsal without you and jc?" at the mere mention of jc's name, justin burst into tears once again -- tears he didn't know he still had in him. lance continued to try to quiet justin, but mostly he let the boy cry in his arms. when justin's sobs had calmed a bit, lance asked again, "baby, what happened?" justin let it all out in a tumble. "he still loves me lance and he wants me and i don't like pushing him away and he still turns me on but i love you, lance, only you and i don't want to hurt you, i don't want to hurt him either, but i love you and can't hurt you and god, oh god, what do i do? i can't do this lance, i can't i can't." "you can, justin, i'm here. you won't do it alone. and jc will learn, he will, you just need to give him -- and yourself -- some time and space." "how can i do that with our rehearsal schedule?" justin asked, his red puffy and red and face mottled from crying. lance still thought he looked beautiful. "we'll find a way, baby. we will. now let's go tell the others were not rehearsing today." "ok," justin replied. he sniffled one last time, ran the back of his hand across his nose and followed lance back to the car. [fuck you, jc.] |