J: Yeah, there aren't many guidelines for them to follow. They have�they seem to have free reign, man -- they sit outside your house, they, uh, they can follow you with your children, they follow you to school with your children�
C: Right.
J: It's appalling. It's become a new sport�
C: Right.
J: �um, how to antagonize them and basically make their life as miserable as possible.
C: And so, what do you do to like, is there anything you�'cause I've heard that you're good at�
J: Root vegetables.
C: What is that?
J: [smiling broadly] Uh�throwing root vegetables at them from a high�[cackles] we�
C: I thought for a second you bring them cooked vegetables [mimics holding a tray outward] "Have some vegetables now please leave me alone!" But no, you're actually throwing vegetables at them?
J: Well, no it's�we did it a couple of times, it has a great effect on their cars you see�from a great height.
C: So you get up high and you throw, and it has to be a root vegetable 'cause they're harder, right?
J: That's right. [points at Conan and laughs as best his voice will let him, tapping the armrest with his left hand]
C: I think that's�
J: Raw potatoes in particular.
C: Right, and you chuck them at their car.
J: And then if they, if they wanna press charges you can eat the vegetables and there's no evidence you see�
C: You've put a lot of�you've put a lot of thought into this, infact, you know, I've actually heard that you're very, you're a very cool customer, you're very even-tempered. You don't lose your temper much.
J: Oh, good. No, I don't lose my temper much.
C: But what does get you crazy? Is there anything that just makes you really mad?
J: Uh, well, I don't like�I don't like the paparazzi.
C: Right, right.
J: I don't like them antagonizing my kids.
C: Right.
J: I don't like laziness.
C: Laziness!
J: Yeah. Don't be lazy on me man, I'll really freak out. Seriously�
C: Yeah, I was just, I was just about to take a little nod off right here for a second�[puts his hands together and lays his head down on them]
J: Don't do it!
C: "I'll be right back, Jude."
J: No, don't do that.
C: Um, no that's...
J: Not much else.
C: Laziness, laziness gets you mad, so people who aren't industrious, they're not working�
J: Yeah, you know?
C: Now you just chuck a root vegetable at them and�
J: Exactly!
C: Uh, the name, uh, "Juuude" � tell me about the name "Jude"�'cause I�
J: [snickers lightly]
C: I, I never, I don't believe I've encountered that for a first name. And I know that it's, in people your age, or anyone�
J: It's not very common I guess�
C: It's not very common.
