Lyrics are listed in order of release.  Click on the graphic to go to the lyrics of that release.

All songs by Andrew Levy unless specified

Nursing Home Hush Money

Self Disclosure
what you see is not what you get
i'm something more or something less
the real me seldom shows
there's things i never self disclose

don't try to analyze me, it's just a waste of the day
i'm a whirling dervish, i'm invisible today
i won't be filed

i meet you and immediately
i want to reduce uncertainty
vulnerable, intense exposure
i'm cautious of any self disclosure

Stephanie⁴
i know i know i know i know
i know four people named stephanie

one of them cut my hair, one worked at the register
one of them's my girlfriend, one's a sorority sister
one of them's totally rich, one makes all her own clothes
one lives with katie c., one's got a moustache under her nose

two are from new england, two are from my own backyard
one is a total fright, one's pushing greeting cards
one's an incredible cook, one took me out on a date
three drive japanese cars, one's got a boyfriend from the beehive state

Feminine Mystique
she's just like a check that no one ever cashes
always looking for new ways to haul my burning ashes
i'll sacrifice myself just like a fatted calf
she'll kiss me, then she'll touch me, then fuck me right in half

i'm all yours for infinity, i'm all yours for all eternity
i'm all yours no matter what you do
i'm all yours i'm a slave to you

you broke me like a horse you trained me like a dog
you're the whole damn engine, i'm just a little cog
you just give the cue and i'm your dancing bear
tell me where to go then drag me by the hair

Rake
i just bring the news, i'm not the one that writes it
don't complain to me if you do not like it
i'm just a messenger, i don't mean a thing
don't nail me to a cross if you don't like what i bring

don't rake me over the coals

i know that things aren't good, they get worse everyday
but you need to know i'm not the one to blame
i'm only a carrier, not your enemy
i am on your side don't point your guns at me

Incident on Lincoln Way (lyrics:J. Rupe & A. Levy)
she jumped through the drive-through window, now she is a hero
the cops gunned down two jocks, knocked them back to zero
brown and orange vinyl made those young men hate
they'll have time to think about it while they're pressing license places

the marvelous magical burger king, he can do most anything
some folks say he's satan
he's got whoppers, shakes and fries, he's got fire in his eyes
some folks say he's satan

levin the gun and mack the knife wanted to score some blow
resorted to drastic measures because their funds were running low
went in demanding money, threw the crew back in the cooler
got shot in the achilles tendon, and up popped the evil ruler

broiled burgers - never fried, just satanic genocide
some folks say he's satan
order a burger on a sesame roll, then he'll take your mortal soul
some folks say he's satan

Touch Myself
i just wanna bop my baloney
i just wanna beat my bishop
i just wanna stroke my salami
etc.

i just wanna touch myself

Obsessive Compulsive
she says she can stop, she thinks she can stop it
but she can't and i know why

Diamonds
you're twice as hard as a diamond, you're worth half as much as shit
you say you are the master, but you're a slave to your own fears
you say that they're not human, what makes you think you are?

the time has come to incinerate the white trash

you say that they are sinners, what makes you such a saint?
you say it isn't normal, but you're a psychopath
you tell me you're a man, i see no evidence

the time has come to take out the white trash

Eyesore
Why'd they go and build another one, they're uglier than shit

Retribution
she wasn't doing nothing she hadn't done before
but you should have seen her face when his carcass hit the floor
her face lit up like a kid in a toy store
hey there, little man, looks like you got yours

the wheel's coming 'round again - retribution
here comes that boomerang - retribution
tables turning upside down - retribution
beware the boomerang - retribution

he thought he'd seen it all, but he was only half right
his skull broke like a yam when plugged with a slug last night
a bullet in the head ain't easily ignored
hey there, little man, looks like you got yours

back to top

SHALOM MOTHERFUCKER

Shower Door
shower door, shower door
it jumped the track and it cut your ankle
the shower door, i don't know what it's for
you showed your thing and i forgot to thank you

I saw your penis!

superstar, super genius
sent by god to grace me with your presence
the shower door fell off the track
you showed your thing, what a lovely present

American Provincial
my name is jimmy - don't call me horatio
you're such a sucker - gonna call you felatio

met you at the bus stop on the way to the salt mine
a compulsive loser riding on the red line
said you bought a potion - said it made gold from dirt
left with just a beaker - man, you lost your shirt

bertrand randall lewis pickney wallace crane
your friends call you flax seed - you call that a name?
heard you joined a union - stamplicker's local
working class dead dog stuck in a choke hold

Eat My Moneymaker

TV God
TV is my religion

I can't get enough of that electronic messiah
If you're looking for me you can find me watching
All the live-long day it's like a blessed sacrament
I started as a child and I'm never stopping

TV is my religion

I have been baptized in the waters that the Love Boat sailed in
I've been purified on the Highway to Heaven
Soap operas and sports, comedy and games shows
Suzanne Somers is the holy virgin Mary

Baby Does It All
my baby loves to kiss my baby loves to talk
my baby loves to ride my baby loves to walk
my baby loves to eat my baby loves to ball
my baby loves to sing yeah, my baby does it all

my baby does it all

my baby likes the rain my baby likes the snow
my baby likes to stay my baby likes to go
my baby likes the winter my baby likes the fall
my baby likes to kill my baby does it all

my baby does it all

Minor Stars
When my daddy was a boy he lived with Abe Vigoda
And Stevie Lawrence, he went to his school
And when I had just turned sixteen, I schooled with Zorba's kid
And let me tell you man he ain't no fool

We're so starstruck - We're such dumbfucks

Mama always said that there's no minor stars in the sky
But mama, me and daddy sure have seen a few
Mama always said that there's no minor stars in the sky
But Mama none of them ever shined as bright as you

Martha took me for a steak and I saw the great Grand Orange
People gathered round him like a king
When we lived out by the bay my folks were friends with Sinbad
He couldn't act, but boy, that guy could sing

Good Buy
I've got more stuff than I could use in ten lives
I spend more dough than if I had ten wives
I'm living with materialistic love
I'm insatiable, I'll never get enough

Every garment, every gadget, I need everything on the market

I'm a consumer, brother, I'm a consumer, sister
I've got dollar signs in my eyes
I'm a consumer, mother, I'm a consumer, father
Hello, hello, hello, it's a good buy

I need a gross of every new thing
If I don't have it all I don't got nothing
My quest for things has been quite a success
Who was it that said money can't buy happiness

Hello Larry
MacLean Stevenson MacLean Stevenson, man what a name
He quit M*A*S*H and he went on Liar's Club made some chump change
Portland, Oregon, Portland, Oregon, he ruled the mic
Balding thespian, old-school master, man, what's not to like?

He talks to people all day for a living
Yes he does
Hello Larry, Hello Larry

King of radio, king of radio on NBC
Just three seasons they cancelled you and made a mess out of me
Lost forever, the TV savior, they'll never learn
I'll be waiting here hoping, praying that Larry returns

House Full of Virgins
House full of virgins won't let you close to them
Boy, don't bother knocking, they'll never let you in
In the house that you're casing, morals are held in esteem
All they screw is your mind, boy, better stick to your dreams

Boy you best forget it, you won't ever get it
It's a house full of virgins
They'll keep their maidenhead, boy, should've stayed in bed, boy
It's a house full of virgins
Sure their bodies glisten, no one ever listens
It's a house full of virgins
Do do da n do da, do do da n do da
It's a house full of virgins

Even a fool knows those girls are pure as snow
It's a house full of virgins it ain't no place to go
If you ever get in there they'll break more than your heart
Boy, if you go there, your trip is doomed from the start

Jennifer Grey
Why'd you put that girlie over by herself
Don't ever dare put my woman on a shelf
Hey, Mister, hey!
That chick is Jennifer Grey
And I'm not telling you just for my health

Nobody puts baby in the corner

Ain't seen much of Jenny in quite a while
Love the way she danced and I love the way she smiled
I'm wondering when that I will see more of Jen
A dancing Jew like her is just my style

Satan is Everywhere
Satan is everywhere - he's the roommate you wanna kill
Satan is everywhere - he's the bird crappin' on your windowsill
Satan is everywhere - he's the boss jumpin' on your back
Satan is everywhere - he's the sore weeping on your scrotal sac

God that motherfucker smells
He makes your life a living hell
Been here an eternity
He's never gonna fucking leave

Satan is everywhere - he's the people that rule the land
Satan is everywhere - he's the callous on the palm of your right hand
Satan is everywhere - he's the landlord and the cops
Satan is everywhere - he's the scum shutting down the porno shops

Christ Killer
Someone nailed him to a cross and hung him up to dry
You said my people did the job so now we have to die
Happened two thousand years ago you'd think we'd done our time
Even if we nailed the guy we've paid for our crime

I don't know if it's true but I got something to say to you
If I met him face to face, I'd put your savior in his place
I am a Christ Killer

The inquisition and the holocaust, that's how you punished us
Say we're a sub-human race, we fill you with disgust
We're forced to endure your wrath 'cause your savior died
Jesus Christ may be your lord but we've been crucified

Clarissa's Cage
As she slept, I was thinking about the night
Something about here didn't seem all right
And that smell, it didn't smell like love
I smelled it before, I've smelled it enough

She says she loves me, then she hates me
I guess I feel the same
She says she needs me, then she leaves me
I guess I play the same game

It's such a shame that you've been tainted
Honey ain't it a doggone shame
I find it hard not to think of you
I still stink of you - you're to blame
Manny said you had designs on me
He never lied to me - you broke my balls
You chained me up and burned me at the stake
Made my spirit break - wish I never called

At the end of my rope - locked in Clarissa's cage
Now I'm running out of hope - locked in Clarissa's cage
Don't know how I'm gonna cope - locked in Clarissa's cage

Ersatz World
Ain't no truth anymore, everything is a lie
Everyone is a fake, plastic man has arrived

Open your eyes, look around
Ersatz people run your town
Ersatz living - ersatz world
Your wife, your home, your clothes, your meals
Imitations of what's real
Ersatz living - ersatz world

Counterfeited life, another deadly sin
Perpetual undeath, we can never win

Frenum
I said, "Hey, here's fifty dollars put it there right under my collar
Not the one that's under my neck sure it'll hurt but what the heck."
The time has come for inspection there's no sign of infection
It's such a weird and wondrous thing to have a shiny steel ring
It's my first, won't be my last, I'm gonna pierce my whole shaft
Gonna help me when I'm pushing, I'm a sapien pin cushion

Got a hole in my head, give me frenum

Using surgical steel soley, on my fleshy member, holey
Gonna look just like Fakir, with my new metallic spear
Works just like an old cock ring, baby what I'm offering
Honey, gonna take you higher, with my shiny steel spire
So, you see I've got one goal, to armor my entire pole
Gonna find my own true freedom, first I'm gonna do my frenum

Angela Lansbury
I fell for you like a steel girder
You're the greatest thing that ever came into my life
But since I met you, all's I think about's murder
I'm dreaming of guns, poisons, and knives

Sometimes I love you so much I could kill

I don't think that this is too much I'm asking
Just to wear my ring and to walk down the aisle
But lately, baby, you've made me an assassin
And I'm ready to walk the murdering mile

7 pm, Tuesday (lyrics: A. Levy/ S. Harris)
She is talking to herself at the picture show
Cracking a smile, touching her nose
Laughing at the world, pointing at the air
She's in her own world, she's not even there

It's nineteen hundred hours -
Little Debbie and the Flying Dutch Devil

Old Dr. Moonfrye never crosses her path
Always ever-mindful of the little one's wrath
She'll turn you to wood, she'll turn you to glass
She turned Jackie Trice into a statue of brass

Cheaper Than Any Jew
Hey there motherfucker don't you tell me that Jews are cheap
When you ain't ever heard of the word "gratuity"
I bring you out an order loaded with everything
But when you pay the bill you don't leave me a fucking thing

You're cheaper than any Jew I ever knew

Don't let me ever hear you use the phrase "He jewed me down"
When you're the cheapest fuck in this goddamn town
One day I'm gonna snap and then I'll kill you - you fucking dick
So if you know what's good for you you'll give me a fucking tip

Cheap shit motherfucker, tight-fisted son of a bitch

Their Laws Don't Apply to Me
It's against the law to kill, it's against the law to rob
It's against the law to marry your little brother, Bob
It's against the law to grow pot or magic 'shrooms
It's against the law to run a brothel from your room

Why don't they listen, why don't they see
That any law they make is a law I want to break
Their laws don't apply to me

It's against the law to make an a-bomb in your house
It's against the law to have more than just one spouse
It's against the law to walk with an open beer
It's against the law to do your neighbor in the rear

Mace
Hypochondriac-narcoleptic, yeah
Went for a ride, saw Mudhoney
Why'd he interview my woman and me?
He's forty years old, he's out of his tree

Enigmatic man with a cryptic face
Everybody knows his name is Mace

Saw us by the lake, asked to come along
Didn't stick around, we were quickly gone
Sighing little eyes, windbreaker of blue
Now he's gone forever - Mace I'm gonna miss you

Junk Fuck Roach Pile
Heading down to Montezuma soon, there's a man there I want to kill
He's been spreading lies all over town, and it's making me mighty ill
Me and Derrick gonna take that man, gonna nail him to the wall
Gonna smash his skull, rip out his guts, burn the corpse, that's all

Cause he's a junk fuck roach pile

These people always stick their nose where it don't belong
But if they do it anymore, I'm gonna make 'em gone
People gossiping all day on the party line
CUt out their tongues, it'll be so fun, things will be so fine

Secrets of the Universe (lyrics: A. Levy/ S. Harris)
Raining every day, raining every night

Violet fire burn in me, shine on for eternity, oh yeah
where is the shoe box
tongue depressor, tootsie roll
shot him from the grassy knoll, oh yeah
vanilla cookie
chocolate noodle paper hand
lilac on a music stand, oh yeah
a red piranha
pile carpet purple car
plough boy eats a candy bar, oh yeah
a raw potato

SHLOMO RISING

Shlomo's Theme
Instrumental

Guiche
Hey, little baby, with the needle gun
Sure, I'll let you pierce me
Sure sounds like fun

The girl's a stone cold freak
She pierced my guiche

Hey there, sweet mama
Whatcha doing down there?
Back behind my scrotum
'Neath my pubic hair

Silly Dancer
When I shake my body, I'm gonna blow your mind
You'll be moving too, Honey give it time

I'm a silly dancer, honey don't you scoff
I'm a silly dancer and I'm going off
I'm a silly dancer, silly as a goose
I'm a silly dancer and I'm getting loose

I'm a dancing fool, girl, I move how I please
People see me out there, I bring them to their knees

Incinerating Now
Hey, old Nicole, with the burning head
Ain't you heard a single word I've said
I ask you if you're evil, you say "And how!"
Who are you incinerating now?

Who are you incinerating now?

You've got to realize I hate your burning eyes
I don't want you around
Acting all unholier than thou
I've got to break these ties, I'm tired of all your lies
You keep bringing me down
Who are you incinerating now?

All Over the Road
Swerving, speeding
Back off, I'm weaving

All over the road and asleep at the wheel
I'm gonna drive how the fuck I feel

A mobile menace
Best say your penance

I Came, I Saw, I Fell
I left town just as soon as she came
I knew that she's the one that put me in chains
She fucked my head and threw my heart on the floor
Another cliff and now I'm falling some more

I came, I saw, I fell
Stuck in a private hell
I came, I saw, I fell

She's a demon with a heart made of stone
She eats the flesh and only leaves you a bone
If you see her, buddy, don't stick around
She'll have you crawling like a worm on the ground

Mike Olin
I've got a friend, his name is Mike
And he lives in a tunnel
He's got a face that's wrinkled like a prune
He winks at me with his brown eye
He's screaming through a puckered funnel
Says he'll meet me down on Hershey Street at noon

Everybody meet Mike Olin, he's my new best friend
Says he lives behind Uranus
Just around the bend
Just around the bend

He goes to work three times a day
Mr. Mike is solid muscle
He works down at the fudge factory
There's a little bit of Mr. Mike inside everyone of us, oh!
Michael is as tight as he can be

Can I speak with Olin, first name, Mike
Is Mike Olin here?  Hey wait a minute!  Why I oughta...

Stephanie⁴
I know I know I know I know
I know four people named Stephanie

One of them cut my hair, one worked at the register
One of them's my girlfriend, one's a sorority sister
One of them's totally rich, one makes all her own clothes
One lives with Katie C., one's got a moustache under her nose

Two are from New England, two are from my own backyard
One is a total fright, one's pushing greeting cards
One's an incredible cook, one took me out on a date
Three drive Japanese cars, one's got a boyfriend from the beehive state

Perish Now
Get lost, get away before I knock you asunder
Girl, I won't sleep a wink until you're lying six feet under

Perish now - please perish now
Please perish now - please perish now
You can have a fit, you can have a cow
But girl, please perish now

What I wish upon you I didn't believe
I could wish upon my worst enemy
But baby, things have changed, you've made me realize
That you're ruining my life and baby I despise you

I praise God every day that we never married
But I won't be content till you are dead and buried
You gave me a beating - worst I've ever gotten
I can hardly wait till your corpse begins a-rotting

Cyclone City
Pop off the tops, pull out the corks
We're gonna get drunk, gonna see The Dorks
We're having some fun in the Cyclone City tonight

Got a full tank of gas, a new set of tires
Got a bag full of turd, gonna set it on fire
We're having some fun in the Cyclone City tonight

College towns suck, yeah, we know it's true
But there ain't nothing we can say or do
To make these lame-ass frat boys go away
But we'll have fun in the Cyclone City now anyway

Fun in the Cyclone City, We know this town is shitty (You know it)
But we'll have fun in the Cyclone City now anyway

Turn on the tube, turn off the light
I rented some pornos, I'm gonna yank all night
Having some fun in the Cyclone City tonight

It's quarter to three, there's nowhere to go
Let's go key every car down on fraternity row
Having some fun in the Cyclone City tonight

I Never Forget a Smell
I'm no good with names, I'm even worse with faces
I don't remember dates, same thing goes for places
But now here comes the important part
When it comes to memory I ain't to smart
But here's one thing that I forgot to tell - I never forget a smell

I saw your photograph and I wasn't certain
One whiff did the trick, my nostrils started hurting
Girl, you must have a rotten egg hiding in the crevice down between your legs
Your perfume, it must be called "Eau de Hell"
I never forget a smell

Love Seat
Took a girl out on one date and now she wants to own me
But my burnt orange couch will never be that way
If you scrape off the cushions, you know that you could clone me
And then I could survive until the judgment day

I wanna make love to my davenport - I wanna have sex with my couch
I wanna make love to my davenport - I want a sofa that makes me go WOW!

I see a hassock and my member starts to harden
But my rust-colored couch makes me feel twice as good
If I fuck furniture you'll have to beg my pardon
But I'd have my dick upholstered if I only could

Chasidic Man
I saw a Chasidic man driving a Mercury Sable
I saw a Chasidic man driving as fast as he was able
He was going down 235, was he heading on out to Clive?
I don't know, but he sure drove fast, but the Chasidic man ain't never gonna crash

He's a Chasidic man

I saw a Chasidic man watching a Swedish art movie
I saw a Chasidic man talking to some punk in juvy
Sure, he's ultra orthodox, but he's got a heart of gold
He'll always stick to his guns, he'll never be bought or sold

Cunnilingus Cup
Bet you never thought I'd have the nerve to bring this up
But I saw you drinking from your mama's cunnilingus cup
You were getting vulgar with my second cousin last night
Watching Ingrid Bergman in that movie called Gaslight

Cunnilingus cup, it's hard to spill
Cunnilingus cup, it's a bitter pill to taste
Wipes the smile right from your face

Won't let you on the roof, 'cause you fell right through the vent
Got a trans am and a kid, but you haven't got a cent
That short girl selling shoes really gets you hot down there
You wax dirt into the floor, you don't sweep, you just don't care

Comeuppance (Andy Levy & Stephanie Harris)
You ain't worth more than one tenth of nothing
I can't wait till you get your comeuppance

You've been a thorn in my side since time began
You're inhuman, you're a demon man
Stole the ruler, never gave it back
Who are you to poke me in the back

You wield your butt scoop like a magic wand
Broke the mower, never cleaned the john
At Valhalla with a shirt of red
Choked on lefse, now you're dead

Shlomo's Theme (Reprise)
Instrumental

...And Then You Woke Up

Ron Jeremy
She took one look at his great big phallus and
Wet her pants just like June Allison
Ronnie Ron Ron, Ronnie Ron Jeremy
She said I'll never get my lips around it
He said Then take your little fist and pound it
Ronnie Ron Ron, Ronnie Ron Jeremy

He's fat and ugly, his schlong's his only sex appeal
And don't forget he's harrier than George "the animal" Steele
And I've come here to say this will be your lucky day
Ron Jeremy is poking your ass today

Though he's not as long as Johnny Wad was
He has a wider dick than even God does
Ronnie Ron Ron, Ronnie Ron Jeremy
If you don't want some labial lossage
You should practice with a summer sausage
Ronnie Ron Ron, Ronnie Ron Jeremy

Autoerotic Asphyxiation
You put your hand on your crank
You put your head through a noose
When you turn down the air, my friend
You turn up the juice
But please be careful if this is your method of masturbation
Autoerotic asphyxiation

Once I had a friend who tried it and he died
Now his parents just pretend he committed suicide
So please think twice before you go and try this new sensation
Autoerotic asphyxiation

Choking your chicken is lots of fun
Choking yourself is not
You could slip and hurt yourself
When your load is shot

So do yourself a favor and get some other recreation than
Autoerotic asphyxiation
No orgasm in the world is worth risking suffocation
Autoerotic asphyxiation

Then You Woke Up
You think some day I'm gonna join your game
And flush this lifestyle down the drain
And someday I'll stop acting like a fool
And someday I'll start playing by the rules
You think pretty soon I'm gonna come along
You don't think I can hold out for long
You say that someday I'll drink from your cup

And then you woke up in a pool of your own jizz
What I'm saying is you don't have a clue
You're dreaming if you think I'll ever be like you

You think a person shouldn't live like me
Least not in a civilized society
You think someday that I'll realize my concerns are nothing but lies
You say that there is gonna come a day when I won't waste precious time away
You say someday that I'll get off my butt

Dehumanize Me
If you were an organ grinder I would be your monkey
If you were a farmer, I would be your ox
If you were a hunter, I'd be your retriever
If you were the president, you'd just call me socks

You keep dehumanizing me
You just keep reminding me of what a loser I am

If you were a carpenter I would be your chisel
If you were a plumber, I would be your wrench
If you were a doctor, I would be your scalpel
If you were a judge you know that I would be the bench

Use me like a tool - dehumanize, dehumanize me
Treat me like a fool - dehumanize, dehumanize me
Work me like a beast - dehumanize, dehumanize me
Fire me whenever you please - dehumanize, dehumanize me

Drew Barrymore (music: A. Levy, lyrics: A. Levy/J. Rupe)
Said go away, cause I don't wanna see you round here
Leave today, or else I'm gonna make you disappear
You had your chance, but you must not care about yourself
The time has come for me to take the matter up myself

By this time I shouldn't have to tell you
Hey, you bastard, I'm gonna fuckin' kill you
You need to know there's a price upon your head, man
You breathe today, but you're a fuckin' dead man

You kept me down, but baby I am rising up today
I'm packing heat, and mister now I'm gonna have my way
Listen up, or this piece will do the talking for my mouth
If I were you, I'd pack my things and start on heading south

I got some lead, and man I'm gonna fill you
Hey, you bastard, I'm gonna fuckin' kill you
I know for sure you haven't got a heart, man
But you got a head and I'll blow it clean apart, man

Edith Bunker
I turn on my TV and what do I see
All the so-called sitcoms are spewing messages
Why can't it be like it used to be
I'll watch "thirty-something" if I want to feel sensitive

I'm sick and tired of comedy killers
How 'bout a new sitcom starring Phyllis Diller
And I don't want to see Roseanne hitting D.J. on the kitchen floor
Don't rape Edith Bunker anymore 

"All in the Family" was my favorite show, you see
I watched it since I was a little kid
But then there came a day when the humor went away
They went and had Edith violated

That was the show that started it all
That episode was TV's downfall
The network brass, they just forgot what situation comedies are for
Don't rape Edith Bunker anymore

Amish Girl
I wanna meet an Amish - yes I do
She's got to act like the Amish, dress like the Amish
She's got to look like the Amish do

She's gotta drive in a buggy, she's gotta wear a bonnet
She's gotta have a virgin's face with no makeup on it
I don't want modern convenience anymore
I want an Amish girl that I can adore

I wann meet an Amish - yes I do
She's gotta talk like the Amish, smile like the Amish
She's gotta kiss like the Amish do

She's gotta speak no English, She's gotta speak the Amish tongue
Gotta show me the old fashioned way to have fun
She's gotta live in the country on a communal farm
She's gotta pray for me and keep me from harm

Generation Why? (music: A. Levy/K. Johnson; lyrics: A. Levy)
When I was a kid I said that I would be an astronaut
An actor, a psychiatrist and a dozen other things I'm not today
Now that I'm twenty-six, my crappy little life consists
Of doing junk jobs all day long, and writing silly little songs

They said I was bright
They said with some work that I could have everything
So who could have known that I would never amount to anything
They said I was smart
With a brain like mine, I could do many things
So who would have known that I would never amount to anything

I went to college for a while and got me a degree
But all that schooling taught me was to hate fraternities
I majored in speech but I still can't talk
'Cause all I studied was punk rock
My mind is such a hazy jumble, can't jump ahead, I just stumble

Life keeps passing me by, Generation Why?

Stick It to the Man
Listen up people and I'll tell you where it's at
We do all the work and the bosses' filthy pockets get fat
We sell our self respect because you know that we gotta get fed
We can't really quit until we're all buried and dead

This is our day, it's the month, it's the year
Our time to rise up is finally here
All's not lost my friends, I've got a plan
We're gonna stick it to the man!

There ain't nothing blacker than our master's hearts
To them we ain't nothing more than replaceable parts
We can be the monkey wrench that breaks down their machine
The rustiest gears the bastards have ever seen

This is our chance, it's our time, it's our turn
We're gonna fiddle while they slowly burn
It's all a part of my oh-so simple plan
We're gonna stick it to the man!

She-Male
At age sixteen it took a standardized test
In the box marked "sex" it just wrote down "yes"
They said get out of here you wise-assed freak
Do you sit or do you stand when you have to take a leak

There's a she-male coming on through

It went and joined the circus and was a side show hit
Everybody loved to see it's four-inch clit
It's full black beard, and it's forty-inch tits
And I haven't even told you 'bout its nine-inch dick

One day it went shopping at a store in town
Some backwards shmuck started staring it down
It said Hey bubba, go back to your still
He said Go fuck yourself, it said okay, I will

This redneck fucker had been pushed too far
He ran and got his buddies from the local bar
They caught up with the she-male at Maple and High
They beat it with a crowbar and they left it to die

It had breasts and two testes
It had a shaft and ovaries
It's friends, the freaks, they all say
If you listen close, you can still hear it say
There's a she-male coming on through

Underachiever
You can't believe the life I've lead
You don't know how I keep my head above the water
This ain't how I want to be
But I don't have the energy to do what I wanna

Factory worker, office worker, I don't want to be either
I give new meaning to the word underachiever

I don't know how I got this way
Is this the way I'll always stay, I don't know the answer
I'll probably never have a lot
Unless some money comes and drops into my lap, sir

Get Kosher
You keep saying you want to touch me baby
Well, girl, you know, you're a mighty sexy waif
But I - I can't kiss you baby
'Cause everything that you eat is trayf

If you want love - get kosher
'Cause if you don't, I'm gonna leave you crying
If you want love - get kosher
'Cause lips that touch swine will never touch mine
So get kosher

You can't help being gentile, baby
And heaven knows you'd make a lousy Jew
But if you want to be with me baby
There's one thing that you got to do

Educating Peter
Peter we don't like it when you smash our heads together
We don't like it at all, yeah
And Peter, please don't batter us with your lunch box
When we're walking down the hall, yeah
Peter, you're a retard, but please don't act so retarded
Teacher says the bell has rung, it's time to get things started

Have you figured out that chair yet, Peter?
Have you figured out how to sit down?
Have you figured out that chair yet, Peter?
If you haven't, we don't want you around

Peter please don't kick me in the face when the teacher tells a story
Because you almost broke my nose, man
And if you poop your pants, you better get the teacher right away, Pete
Or we're gonna get the hose, man
Peter, we were patient, but our patience is all gone now
Just 'cause you're a mongoloid don't act like Genghis Khan, now

Peter you've got one chromosome too many
But sometimes you act just like you ain't got any
Why can't you be a little more like Benny on "L.A. Law"?

Easy Street (music: K. Johnson/A. Levy; lyrics: K. Johnson)
I guess you'd spend your life behind some fucking desk man
Living always week to week, always check to check, man
Brother, you know that ain't me, no I got bigger plans, yeah
Than to spend my fucking life just working for the man, yeah

So offer me some money and name your fucking price
What act of degradation would make it worth your time?
Think it over slowly, and name your grotesque fete
You can keep on slaving, and I'll be on easy street

No one knows the value of TV, snacks and sleep, man
They'd rather work in shirt and tie than be some circus geek, man
You hear it everywhere you go, how much to eat some shit, man?
How much to jerk off on TV, or drink a cup of spit, man?

The answer I would give you might stop you on a dime
But my suffering will last a second, yours your whole lifetime
Think it over slowly, and name your grotesque fete
You can keep on slaving, and I'll be on easy street

You know where we're gonna be, we're gonna be on easy street

Uranus 
I've been around the solar system, Venus and Mercury, I miss them
I enjoyed my stay on Pluto, it's no place for a Jew, though
Jupiter and Saturn, I hope one day I return
Good old Neptune and my red friend, Mars, to me you're always superstars
But there's a planet to which I'm true, and planet Earth it isn't you

Uranus - though it's so far away
Uranus - I wish that I could have stayed
Uranus - 2 billion miles from the sun
Uranus - to me you are number 1

They love the way I look there, the women all like to cook there
The streets are always swinging, the people are always singing
Everyone is full of soul and everyone loves rock and roll
Little Richard is their king, and you can do almost anything
The MC5 play every night and everything is all right

Deanna Durbin Will Have Her Revenge on Winnipeg
She retired from the movies at the age of twenty-seven
She had a face like an angel and a voice straight from heaven
She was the highest paid actress in all Hollywood
I'm twenty-seven now and I ain't done nothin' good

She showed everyone who said she'd never go over
All of the fools who said stay in Manitoba
That little girl became something, so why can't I?
I'm just a piece of shit, you know I might as well die

Tell me why can't I be a little bit like her
Just a little bit like Deanna

Create Some Chaos
It shouldn't come as news to you when they try to put the screws to you
If you have a spirit they'll take it and break it
Even though they've got it all, they try to make you feel real small
Emasculation's what they will do, but still you...

Don't realize that we're in a war, that we'll have to fight forever more
It's "The Man" against "The Boy", it's the rich against the hoi polloi
It's the "haves" against the "have nots", it's the "littles" against the "a lots"

I'm sorry if I depressed you with my tune
But I think we'd best create some chaos soon

I can not believe you think I'd try to deceive you
It's a war we'll have to fight together - forever
We have got to arm ourselves, we can't let them harm ourselves
We'll stand as one if we're gonna win this, but then this...

Ain't a struggle for the weak of heart, but now's the time we have got to start
Blasting off some caps, blowing shit up perhaps, this fight ain't for fun
You bring the ammo, I'll bring the gun

I know you think this fight could mean our doom
But I think we best create some chaos soon

Fuckbuster
Jimmy found himself a little nympho named Kate
So he thought he wasn't gonna have to masturbate
But just when he was ready to cum he saw me standing in the door with a ventriloquist dummy
Jimmy screamed, "Get the hell out of here!"
But I just turned around and then I showed him my rear
He was still lying on top of that whore when I spread my cheeks apart and took a dump on the floor

Hey, batter-batter, swing
I'm a fuckbuster

Billie Joe was pounding his pud while Bobby Sue was rubbing her nub
But just when they were ready to do it, I aimed my gun at their wall and shot a hole right through it
Those kids were too scared to screw and Billy's balls were feeling awfully blue
When he went to the bathroom to whack it, I cranked up a tape with some old Buddy Hackett