| 10/10/02 well this is intresting apparently i can't get my notes all one one page..... okay so besides the fact that i have little idea how to fix that. my week is been...ahh hell i ain't gonna lie this is the first day i've been home before seven. i'm feeling better though i made beef stew for dinner. i sometimes wonder why i'm not a cook. i like it jamie says i'm good at it . heck i use'd to do it for a living. and it would be so much easier... but that means i'de give up. and at this point i'm far from giving up. i drew another picture for my comic but the compaq and hence my scanner is still doa. and my friend foxx is trying to help...really. he's gonna try to get a restore cd for my computer. hopefully he can. otherwise i have a verry nice....paper weight. |
| 10/07/02 uaagh... work.. it's killing me you know. so much to do no time to do it. everything needs to be better, fasterNOW!!NOW!! >< and all i want to do is surf the net. but that in it's self is part of my problem. i spend all day in front of a puter' either at work or i'm playing video game or cahting till midnight wake at five and do it over again... I'm not so bold as to say i can do this. Something has to give. and maybe that's the root of what's wrong. i've made choices i regret. i never thought i would go this far. i spent so much time trying to gain approval i never stoped to see if i needed it. and you know what i don't. It dosen't matter. All it has done is made me a bitter man. And i need to live in the moment not in the past. I'm not that ritilin created zombie anymore and my way may not be right but my way takes me home. and i can't replace that. I need to work my self into my life. |
| 10/04/02' well so far this isn't too bad. but then again i'm still on page one. i cut my self off from a friends forum the otherday, it isn't anything personal i just need time to regroupe and do something i don't normaly do. like this site. i know nothing of html but here i am pluging away. i only hope it works out allright. lately i've been feeling empty like i'm missing something. i hate that feeling. so i'm takeing some "me time". i know that sounds vane but i've been a good friend, co-worker and mate for so long i can't rember who i am beyond thoes boundries anymore . so i'm gonna relax, maybe go to the park and walk around nature. I'm gonna visit some old friends, and try to rember just who i am. It may upset some people,,i might step on a few toes but i need this time to think..... I watched ranma 1/2 last night and i have one question. why does kuno's father have that goofy acent and if they are so rich why does he work? |
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| 10/11/02 well so far so good. my day has been uneventful witch isn't allways a good thing. I keep re-haching my mistakes in life. i mean like never kissing megan wuzz-her name in the 7th grade kind of crap. Dosen't matter at all not even a little bit!! but there it is sitting in my head . taunting me. or a car i sold fo no money to a family member. it's long in the junk yard but theese things i think about. giving me guilt, makeing me sad or angry at myself...there is nothing i can do to fix them but still.. they are there in the back of my mind.. I wiped out my zen garden but the emotions i'm fighting are present in the garden too. it's a mess. stones over turned.. sand everywhare... there seems to be a total lack of balance in it. it's getting woefully too much like real-life. over the last weekend i helped a friend move to another apartment. that was the last time i felt good...usefull. maybe i just need to feel needed again. I mean what exactly am i here to do? test phones, make money ya that i get. but is there a bigger reason other than that? there must be more, this can't be it,can it? |
| 10/12/02 today has been a good day, i feel as if i'm finaly getting a grip on things.. i woke up around 4:00am and drew two pannels for that comic i want to start. I'm looking forward to it because it's something i haven't done before. and i need to be chalanged. I posted a big list of....well i guess it's a mission statement what i beleave, want need know... it really helped to clear my head today. now if i could only get that compaq working. ^^`` |
| 10/18/02 well i'm in north carolina visiting my brother's wife and baby. there are 5 of us visiting and i don't know how she's dealing with it. the drive went well i was wooried because i had to drive right down I-95 OO`` but everything went just fine. i'm looking forward to not haveing to deal with work for four days. i think it'll be good for me. ooah my friend max is now going to kelp me with the web comic ^^ the only down side is he'll be working away from home for the next week to ten days.. so buch for haveing it out by the end of the months..... |
| 10/23/02 man what a week... the visit was great we had a blast... but we all miss danny.. be safe lil' bro.. i need to fight with wall mart.. my car is leaking oil... i'm anything but happy.. they try to say it's my fault but they forget thay are the only one's to do my oil.... jerks!! anyways max and i both have drawings to show each other.. what i'm going to try to do is post both and let our friends deside who should draw what... i think this will be lotsa fun but because we are on opposite sides of the "pond" i don't think it'll be any more than a weekly comic maybe two at most.. besides it'll take longer to use up the space i'm alotted....^.^;; that's all for now see you later ... |
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