| 10/25/2002 today is a good day got to visit my parents, visit my friend chris ans didn't have a single unplesent moment. sunday i get to rerplace the faucet in the kitchen replace the kit in the master bedroom and clime on my roof to fix that damn skylight.....again...>,< aahh yes the joys of owenership!!! remind me to rent the next house.... max is back home and has acess to his scanner and the compaq should have a new hard drive by the end of the week. so hopefuly i'll have some sceches to post on the site... eventualy i'll need to get a site and server.. if any one has a sugestion of a good company to go with by all means drop me a line at [email protected] thank's a bunch jay. |
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| 10/29/2002 well the visit with the big wigs went well the new vp is such an improvement... i like her . heck she was great!! of corse wakeing at 4 am to get there..not so great. the way i see it they owe me since 4!! wahahahah!! over time!! BOOYA!! well all for now... |
| 11/01/2002 allright!! it's go time baby!! after i jot this down i start the script for the new webcomic. i an verry happy to anounce that the drawing duties will be placed into thirds my friend max and steven will be handeling carater drawings and possbly some of the backgrounds. while the larger parts of the backgrounds, land scapeing, story line, ect. will still be done by me. it was a hard choice to give up sole control i realise that what they will bring to this will bring this to a level i could never reach on my own.. they will make the comic great. whare my skills are lacking they will more than carry the weight i cannot. for if not for my friends... it wold more than likely never truly happen. |
| 11/6/02 it's been a while but tonight the compaq comes home!! *happy dance* i am sooo happy!! and i get to leave soon.. just makes it all the better.. i have a comic to produce ya know -_~ so tonight i put the packard bell to rest.. i'll miss it but not that much... <G> met a new friend on the web. i'm helping him build a poetry site. when it's done i'll link it. |
| 01/08/2003 umm.... wow. whare to start? well... girl and i are still living tougeather i sleep in another room mind you. my brother still lives with me and he has a job!! hehe.... it looks like i'm doing the comic on my own, i shoulden't be so suprised , three people that live in three seprate time zones doing a comic... well every one dreams right? me and the miss's are in bad shape, she seems oblivous to it allthough i've told her how i'm feeling over and over again. that feeling? it's nothing. litteraly nothing. no love, no hate, not even like. i realised that i'm here only because it's a place to live. a roof over my head, because i've been here for ten years..wow.......... ten years, a decade, because i thought no one else would want me. I don't know if i should laugh or cry.. things are all messed up and i have some hard choices to make. I wonder...why can't i fall apart? why can't i just admit when there is nothing left to give. ten years is a long time to invest into something. but there are times when you have to start over. so that's whare i am right now. an impass in my life, to go the way i have might destroy me, and the other path is safer, not so dangerous and... allthough both scare me. the other path i have before me. I want no....i need to try. even if i fail. after all a life with out love, is it really a life? and i'm stronger now. more each day. all i feel is friendship for her. and it's okay. if after ten years i can call her friend. that's a victory im my eyes. i may not love her. but it's not to say i'm not loved. that somewhare. there is some one for me. i just need to find my way. |
| 1/11/2003 Well it's over. I'm sorry i coulden't love her any more... i'm sorry i coulden't take the verbal abuse. sorry i wasted a decade wit the wrong girl for the right reason. I hert her, she hurt me now i'm dry. but it's okay. I don't hate her, i don't love her. I've lost my youth. everything else i can rebuild. i have my family, i have my friends. i drank my self silly last night, then chris came and saved me. we went to perkins, i ate way too much indused too much sugar and spoke to manny of my freinds i went home cried my self to sleep around three. went to work. why did i cry? all the emotions i've hid for so long came back at once. the anger, sadness sorrow of a a year and a half of pretending nothing bothered me. realising i allmost gave in that day... i should be in bed, drinking... trying to forget.. but, i'm here working.. ya, i'm pritty fucking far from all right. but i'll live. i'm a thorne, that's what we do. we fight, we live. we love? ya, some day .... i want to learn how to love. i knew once, years ago.. some day i hope to again. |