Shams, Gulling, Huggins, Common Scold,
"The following article is furnished me by a young Lady of unquestionable taste, and who is the oracle of fashion and frippery. Being deeply initiated into all the mysteries of the toilet, she has promised me, from time to time, a similar detail: -
Mrs. Toole has for some time reigned unrivaled in the fashionable world, and had the supreme direction of caps, bonnets, feathers, flowers, and tinsel - She has dressed and undressed our ladies just as she pleased; now loading them with velvet and wadding, now turning them adrift upon the world, to run shivering through the streets with scarcely a covering to their - backs; and now obliging them to drag a long train at their heels, like the tail of a paper kite. Her despotic sway, however, threatens to be limited. A dangerous rival has appeared up in the person of Madame Bouchard, an intrepid little woman, fresh from the head-quarters of fashion and folly, and who has burst like a second Bonaparte upon the fashionable world. - Mrs. Toole, notwithstanding, seems determined to dispute her ground bravely for the honor of old England. The ladies have begun to arrange themselves under the banner of one or the other of these heroines of the needle, and every thing portends open war. Madame Bouchard marches gallantly to the field, flourishing a flaming red robe for a standard, "flouting the skies;" and Mrs. Toole, no ways dismayed, sallies out under cover of a forest of artificial flowers, like Malcolm's host. Both parties possess great merit, and both deserve the victory. Mrs. Toole charges the highest, but Madame Bouchard makes the lowest courtesy. Madame Bouchard is a little short lady - nor is there any hope of her growing larger; but then she is perfectly genteel - and so is Mrs. Toole. Mrs. Toole lives in Broadway and Madame Bouchard in Courtlandt-street; but Madame atones for the inferiority of her stand, by making two courtesies to Mrs. Toole's one, and talking French like an angel. Mrs. Toole is the best looking - but Madame Bouchard wears a most bewitching little scrubby wig. Mrs. Toole is the tallest - But Madame Borchard has the longest nose. Mrs. Toole is fond of roast beef - but Madame is loyal in her adherence to onions: in short, so equally are the merits of the two ladies balanced that there is no judgement which will "kick the beam." It however seems to be the prevailing opinion, that Madame Bouchard will carry the day, because she wears a wig, has a long nose, talks French, loves onions, and does not charge above ten times as much for a thing of worth.
Under the direction of these high priestesses of the beau-monde, the following is the fashionable morning dress for walking -
If the weather be very cold, a thin muslin gown, or frock, is most advisable - because it agrees with the season, being perfectly cool. The neck, arms, and particularly the elbows bare, in order that they may be agreeably painted and mottled by Mr. John Frost, nose-painter-general, of the colour of Castile soap. Shoes of kid, the thinnest that can possibly be procured - as they tend to promote ccolds, and make a lady look interesting - (i.e. grizzly). Picnic silk stocking, with lace clocks - flesh-coloured are most fashionable, as they have the appearance of bare legs - nudity being all the rage. The stockings carelessly bespattered with mud, to agree with the gown, which should be bordered about three inches deep with the most fashionably coloured mud that can be found: the ladies permitted to hold up their trains, after they have swept two or the streets, in order to show - the clocks of their stockings. The shawl, scarlet, crimson, flame, orange, thrown over one shoulder, like an Indian blanket, with one end dragging on the ground.
N.B. - If the ladies have not a red shawl at hand, a red petticoat turned topsy-turvy, over the shoulders, would do just as well. This is called being dressed a-la-drabble.
When the ladies do not go abroad of a morning, the usual chimney-corner dress is a dotted, spotted, striped, or cross-barred gown - a yellowish, whitish smokish, dirty-coloured shawl, and the hair curiously ornamented with little bits of newspapers, or pieces of a letter from a dear friend. This is called the "Cinderella dress."
The recipe for a full dress is as follows: - Take of spider-net, crape, satin, gymp, cat-gut gauze, whale-bone, lace, bobbin, ribands, and artificial flowers, as much as will rig out the congregation of a village church: to these add as many spangles, beads, and new-gews, as would be sufficient to turn the heads of all the fashionable fair ones of Nootka Sound. Let Mrs. Toole, or Madame Bouchard, patch all these articles together, one upon another, dash them plentifully over with stars, bugles, and tinsel, and they will altogether form a dress, which, hung upon a lady's grace, and of reminding the spectator of that celebrated region of finery, called Rag Fair."
From Salmagundi by Washington Irving, published by George Routledge & Co. Soho Square. 1850. From the original works by Irving with editorial comments as thought appropriate. The above appeared in about 1807.
While some of Irving's terminology has lapsed, many of his descriptive terms aptly describe today's fashions. Were he alive today, he would love to describe the grunge look of our teenagers, the ganstra rap group, or the flower children of not too many years past.