archy's friends: Ant brains, The bumbling hive, The economie, Living with bugs, Lovebugs, Mandeville's bees, mehitabel, Ode to a louse, Piss ants, Politically correct roaches, The termite, Worms, Directory
mehitabel's friends: aesop revised by archy, archy, Brann's cat, Cat who loved shoes, On caterwalling, Economist view of cats, Gasket's Christmas ball, How not to drown a cat, MacCavity, Owl and Pussy cat, You done cut the wrong cat, Venture capitalist view of cats, Directory
Don Marquis might have liked these: Christmas Story, Christmas Thief, Curmudgeon, Free trade, Free lunch, Good ship Molly A, The satiric eye, Directory
Political animules: California's pied piper, Mugwump, New York's most famous hog, Spent hen, Directory
Fictional animules: A chicken is not a bird, Darwin's fish, Darwin's goats, Elephant on the moon, Green turtles are good to eat, Dr. Lobster, A mullet is not a fish, Possum, The vixen and the rabbit, Directory
Other animules:
Aplach Oysters,
Bartram's crow,
Crows,
Egrets,
Guest ,
Jackdaw of Reims,
John's passage to neuter-land,
Ned, a grizzle bear,
Ode to a squirrel,
Old Crip the chicken,
One molar in tadpoles,
The peacock,
Sparrow on a stick,
Woody the stork,
Directory
******
Who's the bad wolf ?
The Daily Mirror chose to revise Don Marquis poem by archy entitled "aesop revised by archy" and retitle it "Who's the bad wolf?". In so doing they committed errors in spelling (a fault archy was never permitted by Marquis). Rewrote the script and imposed their brand of political correctness into the introduction.
The paper's writer saw in the poem a "warning of a catastrophe facing Planet Earth due to man's inhumanity towards the Earth. His source was a typewriting cockroach named Archy who wrote about the depraved and deceitful human character". What exactly this had do with a supposedly "eco-bent" by Marquis is confused to say the least. Archy was more concerned with his own dietary shortcomings and his boss's drinking habits.
Here is the poem as written by Archy followed by the mongrelized version in the Daily Mirror .
aesop revised by archy
a wolf met a spring
lamb drinking
at a stream
and said to her
you are the lamb
that muddied this stream
all last year
so that I could not get
a clean fresh drink
i am resolved that
this outrage
shall not be enacted again
this season
i am going to kill you
just a moment
said the lamb
i was not born last
year so it could not
have been i
the wolf then pulled
a number of other
arguments as to why the lamb
should die
but in each case the lamb
pretty innocent that she was
easily proved
herself guiltless
well well said the wolf
enough of argument
you are right and i am wrong
but i am going to eat
you anyhow
because i am hungry
stop exclamation point
cried a human voice
and a man came over
the slope of the ravine
vile lupine marauder
you shall not kill that
beautiful and innocent
lamb for i shall save her
exit the wolf
left upper entrance
snarling
poor little lamb
continued our human hero
sweet tender little thing
it is well that i appeared
just when i did
it makes my blood boil
to think of the fright
to which you have been
subjected in another
moment I would have been
too late come home with me
and the lamb frolicked
about her new found friend
gamboling as to the sound
of a wordsworthian tabor
and leaping for joy
as if propelled by a stanza
from william blake
these vile and bloody wolves
went on our hero
in honest indignation
they must be cleared out
of the country
the meads must be made safe
for sheepocracy
and so jollying her along
with the usual human hokum
he led her to his home
and the son of a gun
did not even blush when
they passed the mint bed
gently he cut her throat
all the while inveighing
against the inhuman wolf
and tenderly he cooked her
and lovingly he sauced her
and meltingly he ate her
and piously he said a grace
thanking his gods
for their bountiful gifts to him
and after dinner
he sat with his pipe
before the fire meditating
on the brutality of wolves
and the injustice
of the universe
which allows them to harry
poor innocent lambs
and wondering if he
had not better
write to the papers
for as he said
for God s sake can t
something be done about it
archy
*****
"Who's the bad wolf ?
Note: Bold is used to show where the article deviated from the typing of archy. Eco friendly journalist Don Maquis wrote a 'sun dial' column in the New York Sun half a century ago warning of a catastrophe facing Planet Earth due to man's inhumanity towards the Earth. His source was a typewriting cockroach named Archy who wrote about the depraved and deceitful human character on the lines of an Aseop's fable.
A wolf met a spring lamb drinking at a stream and said to her, "you are the lamb that muddied this stream all last year so that I could not get a clean fresh drink. I am resolved that this outrage shall not be enacted again this season. I am going to kill you."
"Just a moment," said the lamb . "I was not born last year so it could not have been I."
The wolf then pulled a number of other arguments as to why the lamb should die, but in each case the lamb , pretty innocent that she was, easily proved herself guiltless.
"Well well," said the wolf, "enough of argument, you are right and I am wrong, but I am going to eat you anyhow because I am hungry."
"Stop!" cried a human voice, and a man came over the slope of the ravine. "Vile, lupine marauder, you shall not kill that beautiful and innocent lamb for I shall save her," The wolf left snarling.
"Poor little lamb ," continued our human hero, "sweet tender little thing. It is well that I appeared just when I did. It makes my blood boil to think of the fright to which you have been subjected. In another moment I would have been too late, come home with me," and the lamb frolicked about her new found friend gambolling as to the sound of a Wordsworthian tabor and leaping for joy as if propelled by a stanza from William Blake.
"These vile and bloody wolves," went on our hero in honest indignation." They must be cleared out of the country. The meads must be made safe for sheepocracy," and so jollying her along with the usual human hokum he led her to his home.
And the son of a gun did not even blush when they passed the mint bed. Gently he cut her throat. All the while inveighing against the inhuman wolf and tenderly he cooked her, and lovingly he sauced her, and meltingly he ate her, and piously he said a grace thanking his gods for their bountiful gifts to him. And after dinner he sat with his pipe before the fire meditating on the brutality of wolves and the injustice of the universe which allows them to harry poor innocent lambs and wondering if he had not better write to the papers, for as he said, "for God's sake can't something be done about it"? "
***
Comment:
If you imagine the sheep and wolf on a sand bar (likened to being before the bar in court) and they are arguing their case as a pair of good lawyers might, then the arguments provided have a touch of "today's" courts and trial lawyers.
That the stream being muddied caused the wolf difficulty is an illusion to the way that animals (including man) foul the waters. So maybe if the wolf had his way the sheep (at least this one) would have been more mindful of the environment. And just like the sheep of today, the lamb was quick to point out that it isn't "my" fault when things go wrong.
When th argument blaming the lamb failed, the wolf took a different tact which also was unproductive, so to bring the issue to an end, he decided that eating the lamb was all that mattered since he, after all, was hungry. Or in today's courts, you look for a jury-friendly-state to make plea, and of course the trial lawyers feed first at the trough.
All's well and good; in today's court, the judge decides in favor of the lamb and he is returned to the fold (temporarily). Of course this innocent is just going to fall prey to some other animal (man), especially if he is a member of the "sheepocracy" that believes that good intentions are all that matter. So as citizens go along their way, gambling (gamboling) with their future and trusting government will save them from some fate, they live out Archy's fable.
"Eco-friendly"? Hardly, Marquis was selling stronger medicine.
****
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