Act II Scene IV

It's so hard to find good help these days

Porter :

Now who the hell left their porch light on?

Turn your bloody lamp off you fool, some of

us are trying to sleep. What do I care I

am not the Coal man. They can not make me

do what I do not want. Speak in couplets

they say. Well to Hell with them. What

can they do? fire me? Ha Ha, Let them, I'm

union. They have to pay me. I am down on

whores and I shan't stop ripping them til

I am done.

[Enter MacDonald,]

[ No shoes, No service]

My good man you are quite quite drunk

you smell like you have crossed a skunk

Know you not it is a royal crime

to speak in prose that doth not rhyme

I'm not going to speak in rhymes; and

you can't make me.

Fool, your body I will skewer

than leave you lying in a sewer

Tough Turds, I am.... Acccck!

Put down your sword

Stop your discord

All Right, All Right, I'll rhyme my speech

but,

um,

help me out will you I'm new at this.

Good God man, what Rhymes with speech?

why leech, peach, reach and teach, I beseech

All Right, All Right, I'll rhyme my speech

though it may drain me like a leech

How's that?

My dear man I wish you were brighter

you speak like a monkey at a typewriter

Oh Yeah! you pouf, you silly fart

I wonder,

um,

I wonder,

ah,

I wonder where you bought that cart

Now you're being really dense

you're rhymes do not make any sense

before you start crying on my sleeve

I think it's best I take my leave [Exit MacDonald]

I'm calling the union

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