"She called today," Rando told the spiders, "said she didn't want to tell me who she was wanting to date.  I got all excited thinking it may be me.  But guess what.  No one loves spider wranglers anymore." 

Rando had a habit of telling the spiders his good and bad times.  This time it was bad times.  You see, there was a time when a woman would adore, chase after, and just plain love to date, even marry, a professional spider wrangler.  Those days are gone.  Rando is one of the highest paid wranglers the world knows.  He keeps his bills paid and has plenty of money to raise a kennel of dogs.  He doesn't own any though.  He tries to save all the money he gets for future dates, wedding arrangements, children, and smart stuff like that.  But for some reason, Rando can't find anyone.
The spiders were acting up today.  Rando had accumulated enough silk from them to start a K-Mart Wardrobe section.  He liked to be around the spiders.  They were interesting.  They made him feel welcome in their….culture.  Plus, they were the only ones who listened to his problems.  He was the guy everyone went to tell their problems.  He thought about charging people, but he was to kind to do that.  So Rando kept listening.  He tried to not speak of his problems to people.  That's why he loved the spiders.  They were his escape.
He had an exercise wall for the spiders and sometimes to vent anger, or just climb because he was happy and wanted to do something fun and challenging.
"Hey Runny" he said to his favorite spider (whose name came about due to the fact that Runny's web silk wasn't thick enough to make a web),  "Do you think maybe she'll come around?  I mean we're friends and all, but I know we could be so much more if she'd give me a chance." 
Runny replied with a loving non-poisoning bite to Rando's thumb. 
"Thanks, I needed that," Rando graciously said.  "How can I get her to notice me?  Should I just tell her?" 
Runny let out a line of silk to descend to the ground.  Rando let his rope loose a little to race Runny to the bottom.  Runny usually won, but this time Rando had a plan.  He let go of his rope all together.  He won.  Runny landed on Rando's face.  Rando laughed and weezed.  He had knocked the breath out of himself. 
"I win," Rando said as he passed out.
When he woke up he was tiny.  The size of one of his spider friends.  He jumped up in disbelief.  He couldn't believe he was so small. 
"Great!  Now I'll won't get a date for sure!"  Rando sighed angrily.

Then as he was descending from a web he got ate by a black widow named Yolanda. 

The moral:  Trust only the women who don't have a funny design on their back and have a habit of eating men.