Original Quotes by Jason Sinkhorn (I hope no one else thinks this way):

"A rose by any other name would still prick your finger and make you bleed."

"When looking for the bright side of life, take a flashlight."

"Just remember that "bias" is just B.S. (bullstuff:) with a few vowels thrown into it."

"When you can't think of a quote to write, it is time to think of more quotes."

"Four score and seven years ago..." is just another way of saying "A dang long time ago…"

"Falling in love is like falling in Jell-O.  At first you think you might get hurt, but once you're in you feel all warm and squishy inside."

"Some say 'This glass is half full' Some say 'It's half empty' I say 'May I have a refill?'"

"If life gets ya down on the ground, pick up a rock or a stick and bash life right back."

"All's well that ends quick"-just take it like you want it folks."

"It's a dog eat dog world, and I seem to be the dog."

"You're not old until you're dead"

"If you throw caution into the wind, make sure it's in a direction that won't let it come back to smack you in the face."

"Never let them see you sweat, but always let them see you."

"Don't run away from what isn't going to happen"

"If you've been in a jam, you'd buy jelly the next time."

"Are you following a crowd, or is the crowd following you?"

"You are only as dumb as you think you are."

"Half the fun of growing up is revisiting your childhood"

"Today we find out why we are here. Tomorrow we leave."

"The key to happiness does you no good if you haven't found the door."

"If they give you lemons...squirt them in the eye with juice...I'm sure it will burn them more than you got soured."

"Isn't it funny how death gets us all in the end?"

"Always make sure your destination exists before you set out to find it."

"The best way to catch someone off guard is when they least expect it"

"I have a way with words, it's just that women don't understand."

"Anything convenient for the public is inconvenient for the workers"

"If you can't find your way out of a tunnel, dig a hole."

"If you are driving yourself insane, always turn left"

"It's not lying if you run out of time to tell the truth"

The third time isn't a charm, it's a pain in the butt"

"Honesty is the best policy, but not the best strategy"

"Just because you have been taught, it does not mean you have learned."

"The yuckiest medicine is a taste of your own."

"Loneliness is the foulest temptor"

"The grass may be greener on the other side, but that just means they had to put up with more fertilizer."

"Bravery is a product of ignorance, courage is a product of knowledge."

Thoughts of Jason Sinkhorn:
Is a little bit of something less than not much of eveything

Do children with Attention Deficit Disorder go to concentration camps?

If people don't want you to follow close to their cars, why do they have bumper stickers?

Do mimes have a union?

If you defend the same person twice are you refending them?

If rules are so easy to break why don't we make them out of a harder material?

Be it not that ebonics be-est like Shakespearean language?

"Do people with tracheotomer's have accents."

"If someone tells you that they are a chronic liar, do you believe them?"

"Is it possible to have a transvestite in a nudist colony?"

"Ever noticed how the kitchens in KFC look like a chicken holocaust?"

"I think the question is: What isn't the meaning of life?"

If people were a gear shift: Park would be the people who don't do anything with their life; Drive would be those who are always forging ahead, getting things done; Neutral would be people who let other people make decisions for them, who will go in whatever direction they are pushed; Reverse would be the people who walk backwards. Yeah that's right."

"Why is it that it's always the non-profit organizations who are asking for money?"

"Is it possible to remember to forget to something?"

Know What I'm Sayin'? Sayings
"You can only dance on the biscuits so long before the oven gets hot and the baker gets ticked off."

"Parlaying with pigeons will only get you stale breadcrumbs and a closet full of white polka-dotted clothes."

"Sometimes you have to go down the hill, pick the clover, and come back up for some pancakes and syrup."

"Some things in life are like trying to tell a blind man what it's like to be in the dark. It just don't make sense."

"Man who wears invisible clothes is ultimately more visible."

"Being far from civilization, all alone, is like flying a kite in a restaurant's freezer."

"The meaning of life is like the meaning of pi...no one knows all of it, and most people don't care enough to find the whole thing"

"Running from your past is redundant"

"If you point a stapler at your finger it's a good chance you won't get frozen by a klondike bar in the hot August sun in the middle of a rhino cage for the rest of your life as a janitor of a school bus liner."

"When a person yells at you and tells you to get out of the turkey, you better not eat chicken either."

"More hours in the day means more people in the psychiatric ward."

"Somethings are as confusing as a lockback butterfly knife on a billy goat."

"You can only baste a turkey so long before you have to put it in the oven."

"Air suffocates fish, but we aren't fish, so breathe all ya want."

"The truth may set you free, but you will still need the keys to the handcuffs."

"Boredom is only a gateway to more fun."

"Sometimes you just can't pour the sauce slow enough"