Ma Cherie: Chapter Two
Author: Scarlet Kozi
Three days later, Klaha was still wondering about his wallet.
Right now he was walking home from school again. It was light out today, a beautiful day that wasn't too cold, but just breezy enough. The sky was blue, and there were some ethereal white clouds hovering in the sky, as though someone had spun them and hung them there. Klaha was walking along with Daisuke and Toshi, a couple of his friends.
Daisuke was attractive and strong, and had an almost impossibly charming smile. Even Klaha found himself drawn in by that smile sometimes, even when he was irritated or annoyed with Daisuke. He also had a nice laugh, of course ... and was in he middle of laughing when Klaha's mind wandered away from their conversation. Toshi, a tough boy, could go from smiling and telling hilarious jokes to being almost eerily silent at the drop of a hat. He and Daisuke got along well, in any case. Klaha liked them, but didn't talk to them too much either. He didn't always know what to say to them. The best thing about them was that they seemed to understand what it was like to possess attraction for the same sex as well as the opposite, whereas it seemed that others in their school weren't so understanding.
They were engaged in conversation right now, laughing and chatting easily, but as usual, Klaha's mind was elsewhere.
"Oi, Klaha."
Klaha glanced over at Toshi. "Hai?"
Toshi shot him a rare little grin. "You know, K�zi asked me about you again today."
For a moment, Klaha was silent out of surprise. "..."
Shaking his head to himself, Toshi let out a little sigh. "I tried to convince him to forget about you, but it didn't work. I think he really likes you." He exchanged a smile with Daisuke now. "I saw him staring at you during physics, too."
Klaha's mouth fell open slightly. "H-Hounto ni?"
"Hai."
That was something very strange. K�zi was a boy in their grade, but there was something about him that was segregated from the other students. He was remarkably beautiful and intelligently clever, but somehow aloof and distant from people he didn't want to know. Almost like Klaha, but more openly. He was different in that elevated way, not an inferior way, which made him more of a mystery than an outcast. People looked at him strangely and whispered about him, but more out of fascination than dislike. It was considered both exciting and also a bit unnerving when K�zi spoke to someone out of his small circle of friends.
"But I never noticed him looking at me," Klaha said, his eyes contemplative.
"You wouldn't. You're always looking out the window," Toshi teased.
Daisuke grinned and nudged Klaha playfully. "Oi, if he approaches you, what'll you say?"
"Who? K�zi?"
"Of course!"
"I ... I would say that he isn't my type."
A groan came out of the others, who shook their heads and recognized this behavior to just be typical Klaha. Even though Klaha felt a bit flustered to know that someone like K�zi might be interested in him, he just wasn't sure what to think about it. He didn't know K�zi, after all, and there was something about the other boy that put him off. Something about his quiet self-assurance, his preference to work by himself, his disdain towards the teachers and the more brainless socializers among the students, and the way that he smiled, almost mockingly, was intimidating to Klaha.
But for now, Klaha didn't want to think about K�zi. He would think about all of that later.
They walked onto the sturdy cobblestone bridge over the river, continuing to converse as they did so. Klaha's eyes were drawn out to the water, which he watched silently as he walked along with them. When they were halfway over, a soft voice stopped the three of them.
"Sumimasen."
Slowly, the three stopped, blinking.
"Hai?" Daisuke said, quizzically, before Klaha finished turning around.
But when he did, he halted and stared at the person who had spoken. It was that same young man from the slums, from just a couple of days ago, but he looked different in the light. His rich brown hair was more neatly arranged, but it hung slightly long, his bangs framing his perfect face with its expressive, sensitive eyes. Instead of the kimono, he was dressed in a pair of loose jeans and a worn shirt underneath a long, shabby brown jacket, and he held Klaha's black coat slung over one arm. The look on his face was expressionless, but slightly shy, as he faced them standing there on the bridge. Something about his features suggested that he was made for much more of a refined existence than the one in which he lived.
Of course, Daisuke and Toshi had no idea who he was. The two of them regarded him with curiosity, forced to wonder about him and why he was approaching them, but Klaha was more surprised than they were. He didn't see the blank inquisitiveness in Daisuke's eyes, nor did he notice the silent speculation in Toshi's. Of course, the two of them were somewhat wealthy too, and seeing this stranger dressed as he was made them jump to the conclusion that he just HAD to be less fortunate than them.
Klaha stared at the stranger. He hadn't expected to see him again. But even so, he had to wonder silently at himself. Why was he unable to speak? He opened his mouth but couldn't utter a word.
The boy came forward, seeing Klaha and not the others. "I'm sorry," he said quietly. "I know it's been three days. I would have given you the coat sooner, but ..."
"N-No," Klaha managed, blinking. "That's fine."
By this time the stranger had stopped in front of Klaha. He almost seemed hesitant to come too close, and stopped when he was within touching distance but no nearer than that. His eyes stayed locked on Klaha's face, only briefly glancing from side to side to take in the appearances of Daisuke and Toshi. There was an almost uncomfortable silence, for the boy seemed to want to give the coat back to Klaha, but was a bit shy in the company of people who were even more unfamiliar to him than Klaha himself.
Daisuke walked up to the two of them, blinking. "Klaha, who is this?"
Klaha glanced over at Daisuke uncertainly. "I don't know," he could only say. It was the truth, after all, since he didn't know the boy's name.
"No?" Daisuke seemed curious.
"No."
Daisuke then glanced at the boy again. Their heights weren't that different, but Daisuke was more outgoing and confident, so radiated a more strong aura. He walked right up to the boy, apparently standing a bit too close to him for his taste. The stranger almost shifted away, avoiding his eyes, as though he was uncomfortable, but he didn't want to be rude, so he didn't run.
Daisuke searched his face, making sure that he'd never seen him before, and then looked down at Klaha's coat in his arms. "Why do you have Klaha's coat, anyway?"
"He ... He lent it to me."
Klaha looked up at the soft-spoken answer. The boy was staring into Daisuke's face now, but with his curiosity Daisuke was almost violating his personal space. He was observing the stranger at a close angle, and the boy almost seemed to become upset, not because he was angry, but because he disliked close contact with strangers like this. Klaha couldn't help but notice this, and he felt a little rush in his stomach that he couldn't explain.
Knowing that he had to step in somehow, even though he didn't know anything about the boy yet, Klaha put a hand on Daisuke's arm. Daisuke looked down at him, and Klaha could feel Toshi's eyes on him too. Quietly, he said, "You can go on ahead without me, ne?"
Reluctantly, Daisuke nodded and stepped back, his eyes still flicking at the strange boy again. He seemed to not want to let a genuine curiosity escape. He didn't want to be nosy, but there was something odd about this stranger than even Daisuke could sense. Toshi could probably sense it too, but he nodded also to Klaha's request and started continuing on his way. "Ja, Klaha." Daisuke waved and then joined the other boy.
Klaha stood there next to the boy for a moment. Both of them watched the two leave.
Only when they had disappeared from sight, Klaha turned to the boy. He almost felt shy all of a sudden. He couldn't meet the boy's eyes, without knowing why, but the boy gazed unflinchingly into his face, apparently not as intimidated by him as he had been by Daisuke and the others.
The boy held out the coat again. Mutedly, he said, "Thank you ... for lending this to me."
Klaha was surprised. Almost hesitantly, he reached out and took the coat from the boy's arm, slinging it over his own, and now he could look back into the boy's gaze without so much hesitation. He was grateful to have his coat back, remembering that his wallet had been in it, and in the back of his mind he wondered whether the boy had known that. "What's your name?" he asked.
The boy blinked. "Gackt," he said softly.
"Klaha desu," Klaha said, holding out his hand.
Gackt looked at it for a moment, but didn't seem to feel confident enough to touch him yet. Nonetheless, a very small smile came onto his face, showing his cheekbones more, and Klaha could not help but feel another little flutter. 'He looks so attractive when he smiles,' he thought.
But Gackt said, distracting him, "I know."
Klaha blinked and lowered his hand. "You know my name? But ..."
Gackt seemed to steel up some courage, and then decided to mention it. "When I went home that evening I wondered who you were, and how I could give the coat back to you without knowing your name or where you lived. I ... found your wallet in the pocket. I left it there, but that's how I know."
Klaha's eyes changed, surprised that Gackt would be a good enough person to leave a wallet.
Gackt, however, couldn't read his expression as positive. He suddenly seemed to become hesitant, perhaps sensing hostility or suspicion in Klaha's eyes instead of the truthful surprise. Klaha did not know that what Gackt saw in Klaha's face reminded him fleetingly of what he had seen in Yoshiki's before, just by coincidence. After all, his lover would instantly suspect him of stealing his money, if he was in Klaha's place.
Gackt's eyes widened, reacting to this twinge of fear in him, and he started to stammer in a very unexpected manner, for normally he seemed so composed and expressionless. "I ... I didn't touch any of the money ... It's all there the way I found it ..."
Klaha was surprised. He softened, furrowing his brows.
Just this mere expression revealed to Gackt that Klaha was nothing like Yoshiki.
Honestly, Klaha said, "I never thought that you would have taken the money."
Gackt swallowed. His expression melted into neutrality again, but almost wariness, as he searched Klaha with his eyes. Softly, he said, "That's strange ... No one else would be able to trust me that quickly. I don't think anyone's ever tried ..."
Klaha frowned slightly, confused. What did he mean by that?
They were silent a moment longer. Gackt's eyes lingered on Klaha's face for a little while, and then started to travel down. They took in Klaha's uniform a second time. He saw how neatly Klaha's slightly long hair was combed, how healthy he seemed even though he was slender. And seeing this, Gackt seemed to grow uncomfortable. He swallowed, feeling ashamed of his own shabbiness in comparison to Klaha. He pulled his jacket closer around him and started to inch backwards.
Klaha blinked. He didn't know why that odd expression had just come into Gackt's eyes then, even though the other boy had tried to hide it from him, but it seemed as though Gackt was going to try to leave. Klaha couldn't explain why he didn't want Gackt to go. "Chotto matte," he said.
Gackt slowed, and looked up at him, without saying anything.
Klaha stared at him. Hesitantly, he asked, "The other night ... why were you so upset?"
Even Klaha didn't know why he asked that question. It may have just been something to say, to keep Gackt from going away so quickly, to keep him engaged in conversation, but that wasn't all. Klaha realized suddenly that idle thoughts of Gackt and his restrained tears, which he had refused to let slip down from his eyes that night, had been following him around for three days.
Gackt didn't move, but it seemed like a shiver passed over his body.
Klaha suddenly began to feel embarrassed, as though he had asked something too personal. Maybe it was none of his business, or something that he couldn't understand. But something in him WANTED to understand, even though he recognized that maybe he had been too forward. He was about to apologize when Gackt murmured, "Gomen nasai. I have to go."
And before Klaha could stop him, he gave a small bow, then turned and wandered off the bridge, leaving Klaha there.
[Over the course of a few days]
Klaha couldn't stop thinking about Gackt ... and Gackt couldn't stop thinking about Klaha.
While Klaha was at school, at home, and spending time with his friends, his mind was always on Gackt. He didn't know the other boy, and in fact knew absolutely nothing ABOUT him other than his name and the way he'd found him that first night. But that was enough to pique his curiosity utterly. He'd never met anyone like him.
Meanwhile, Gackt was forced to go back to his usual schedule, no longer in school himself, far away from a normal life. When he was with customers, with Yoshiki, or by himself, at his home or in others' homes or outside on the streets, thoughts of Klaha crowded his mind absently. He nearly felt sad that he no longer had any friends himself ... no one to talk to.
[The next week]
Deliberately after school, Klaha had taken the other possible way home.
Every day since he'd entered high school, he had walked home on that road over the bridge, the one that was mostly empty but very nice and surrounded by swaying trees. It was a path that was just as sheltered as his life. Of course, the other way that he could go, even though it was slightly longer, was through the streets of the city just next to the river, the slums, where Klaha had found Gackt that first night.
Now, Klaha took that way, through the more dangerous neighborhoods of the city. None of his friends really wanted to go that way with him, so carelessly let him go alone. Klaha was rather thankful for the solitude. He wanted out of mere curiosity to see if he could spot Gackt, but unbeknownst to him, something had happened.
Klaha found the street where he had found Gackt, but realized sullenly that he had no idea where the other boy lived. As he wandered around on the street, looking around at all the unfamiliar buildings, he realized that just like Gackt, the street looked different when it was light out. It seemed less formidable somehow, but mysterious nonetheless.
Without knowing it, Klaha found himself pausing right in front of the steps that led to Gackt's apartment building. He was unaware of that, as he halted to look around and get his bearings.
All of a sudden, someone walked up to him, heading for the steps, and then stopped. Their eyes rested on Klaha inquisitively, and Klaha felt it, so he turned around.
Standing there was a young woman, a very lovely one. She couldn't have been any older than Klaha himself, but there was something knowledgeable about the way she walked that indicated that she was probably older than he thought she was nonetheless. She had long, curling dark hair, and was wearing normal feminine clothing, along with gloves and a jacket because it was cold. In her hand was a bag from a corner store. She must have been on her way back from picking some things up. She was looking at Klaha oddly, suspiciously, guardedly. "Who are you?"
Klaha jolted. That voice was low. It was a male voice. But it had just come out of a person who seemed, to his eyes, to be a cute girl with just a bit too much makeup on. "I ... I mean, I didn't ..."
"Stop stammering."
It wasn't harshly said, but immediately Klaha closed his mouth, and tried again. "Klaha."
"Oh." The boy who looked like a girl slowly nodded and looked at him a second time.
"May I ... May I ask who you are?" Klaha questioned hesitantly, shyly.
"Shinya desu."
"A-Ah."
Although Klaha was unaware of the fact, Shinya recognized him. When Gackt had gone to return the coat to Klaha on the bridge, Shinya had been watching discreetly and curiously from a safe point. It had taken him a minute to realize that that was Gackt talking to those wealthy-looking students, of course, but once he had, he'd paused and seen the brief meeting taking place, without hearing anything. He didn't know who Klaha was, but he knew that Gackt probably did. Maybe Klaha was a customer, or a former customer, Shinya mused.
Something had happened to Gackt, something that Shinya of course knew about, and Klaha didn't.
The previous night, Gackt had been with a client. Gackt had told Shinya little bits about what had happened, but had been reluctant to say too much, and Shinya had pieced the rest together with his own intellect. The man had seemed a normal person at first, but had proved not to be so gentle. Gackt agreed to perform his services for him, but when they were all done, the customer became angry. He didn't want to pay the money that Gackt asked for having sex with him, so he beat Gackt up a little and left him stunned in the apaato. Gackt, who could lose his temper when angered, had tried to fight back, but the man had been larger than him, and so it had been no contest.
Shinya was another prostitute under Yoshiki's care, and had come by in search of Yoshiki. But he only found Gackt, battered and half-conscious. Shocked, he tried to tend to Gackt himself, but Gackt refused too much help and didn't want to talk about anything. He had almost become violent when Shinya questioned him too much.
But Shinya was a concerned and worried person. Though he had problems with expressing his own emotion, he cared deeply about Gackt and his other friends in the business. He had become determined to take a day off of work, no matter what Yoshiki thought when he found out about it, and so he stayed to tend to Gackt, who was also unable to work that day.
Now, as Shinya appraised Klaha and realized that Gackt knew him, he could only think, 'If Gackt knows him, then maybe ... he could help.'
Klaha was about to apologize and keep going. After all, he didn't know this person, and Gackt was primarily on his mind. All he wanted was to find where Gackt lived. He didn't know why he was so curious, considering how little he knew about Gackt, but he wanted to talk to him nonetheless. Therefore, he had to keep searching around these endless neighborhoods for where Gackt lived. "Gomen," he said softly, and bowed his head as farewell, before starting to move along.
"Please wait."
Shinya's request halted him, and he looked up hesitantly. "Hai?"
Though he was mostly certain, Shinya couldn't be entirely sure that Klaha was the same boy that he had seen Gackt with. He'd been far away, and it would be both dangerous and embarrassing if he told a stranger too much, too quickly. "Are you that same boy that I saw Gackt with? It was about two weeks ago. I'm not sure if you remember."
Klaha was stunned. This person knew Gackt? Immediately, he said, "Hai, I remember."
Shinya seemed slightly relieved, but almost instantly he seemed to change his mind. No. No, he couldn't tell Klaha anything. Gackt probably wouldn't forgive him for it. Therefore, his voice almost became sad when he spoke again. He didn't want to say too much, so he was careful. "You must be looking for Gackt." At Klaha's nod, he said, "Gomen, but he cannot see you."
Klaha was surprised. He blinked down at Shinya. He didn't know Gackt well enough to visit him without reason, especially since he'd only seen Gackt twice and didn't know where he lived. But apparently he lived here. Shinya, for some reason, seemed to think that Klaha knew Gackt much better than that, and was being apologetic as though he assumed that Klaha was coming purposefully to see Gackt.
He was about to tell Shinya the truth, when he heard the notes of worry and sadness that had been evident in Shinya's voice. He hadn't noticed them before, but they made him neglect to confess for the time being. Almost worried, he asked, "What's wrong? Why can't he see me?"
Shinya seemed uncertain, knowing that Gackt wouldn't want him to say too much. "Gackt is ... is ill," he merely said. "He needs to be by himself."
Klaha furrowed his brows, and asked, "What's wrong with him?"
Shinya's thoughts, as he gazed at Klaha, strayed to Gackt, who he felt so sorry for. After all, none of them, including Shinya himself, received such brutal treatment as Gackt. Normally Shinya could keep himself cold and could neglect to think about this, but right now it was impossible, when confronted with Klaha's apparent naivete. Gackt suffered so much. Yoshiki was not exactly kind to any of them, but he played favorites and treated Gackt as a man who would treat his wife that he no longer cared for: he would rub his affection for the other prostitutes into Gackt's face, and whereas he showed Gackt NO affection, he would pay attention to the others in ways that he hadn't paid attention to Gackt in a long time. None of the others were beaten by Yoshiki, none insulted as Gackt was, and besides that, though Gackt worked the hardest out of any of them, thanks to Yoshiki's constant pressure, he was now the one who was forced to remain in isolation, too grieved to come out of hiding.
Therefore, Shinya's eyes became moist, and he confessed, "Something ... Something horrible has happened to him."
Klaha became alerted by this. Like Gackt, Shinya had a way of remaining perfectly poised and guarded, but when the shell was cracked, he revealed that there was an actual person inside of him. But now Klaha was worried, and his heart stopped to see that Shinya was so concerned about Gackt. He demanded, "Nani? What happened? Tell me."
Shinya looked up at him. Klaha's desperateness told him that he knew Gackt well, and if he knew Gackt well he probably knew that he was a whore. Therefore, Shinya took a breath and spoke in a measured voice. "A ... customer ... mistreated him last night. The man didn't want to pay him, so he beat him and left him there. I'm being foolish ... He'll be fine---worse has happened to him---but I get overly worried."
Klaha halted, stunned. Suddenly he froze. He didn't understand.
Customer? Pay him? Beat him?
Shinya stared at him with a slight frown for a moment. Why did Klaha look so surprised? Then his heart began to sink slightly. Of course. He'd made a mistake. Klaha hadn't known any of this, hadn't known anything about Gackt, or else he wouldn't seem so shocked. Shinya felt a little bit ashamed of himself for telling more than he knew that Gackt would want him to, but he sniffled and forced himself back to normal. He didn't like experiencing unpleasant feelings.
"Don't do anything rash," he told Klaha emotionlessly. "I shouldn't have mentioned it, and I certainly shouldn't have told you ... a stranger ... what happened. Please try to forget that I said anything."
Klaha was still confused. He was almost becoming upset, and frowned, shaking his head and staring at Shinya. "W-What did you mean? I don't understand."
Shinya's eyes became pained for a moment. Didn't he get it? Vocalizing this aloud, Shinya said softly, staring back at Klaha, "Can't you guess?" There was a silence, and then he looked away. "Gackt ... baishunfu desu. He's been doing this for a ... a very long time now, even longer than I have." He swallowed here, but refused to allow any expression to come into his face. He saw the utter shock in Klaha's eyes and couldn't stay any longer. He remembered that Gackt needed him. "I must go. Sayonara."
With that, he turned and walked up the steps, unlocking the door to the apartment building without even taking another look at Klaha. He went inside and shut the door after him, vanishing. Klaha remained standing there on the sidewalk, unable to move.
He went home that evening in a daze.
"Iie ... Gackt---baishunfu desu ...?"
He could not believe that Gackt was a prostitute. It had to be a lie. That couldn't be true. Gackt was barely older than he was. And he seemed so ... well ... boyish. He wasn't feminine enough to be a prostitute. But then, Klaha was naive. He didn't know that one didn't have to be extremely feminine to be a prostitute. Gackt could have told him that.
Klaha would never have guessed. After all, he knew so little about people like that, people who were prostitutes. He had even wondered, before, whether Gackt had attended his school, even if he lived in such a bad neighborhood, but that had been a foolish hope. No one who lived around there could afford to go to Klaha's school.
Klaha was numb as he went into his room and sat on his bed in the dark. He was only able to stare at the coat that he had lent Gackt, which was over the back of the chair at his desk.
He thought about the way he had found Gackt. He remembered the disheveled state he had been in, his apparent grief and shame, and the way that Gackt hadn't even been able to really look at him. His clothing both times that Klaha had seen him, on the bridge also, and the way that Gackt had acted, should have been clues. Klaha should have noticed that humble remorseful look in Gackt's eyes, and he should have even seen the fact that Gackt's obi on his kimono had been tied in the front, not in the back. Klaha wondered intensely, why hadn't he realized? But then, how could he have known?
Klaha found tears in the corners of his eyes, without knowing why.
NOTES~Not much to say this time ... Do you like the story? Please tell me what you think so far. I really want to know what your opinions are, because I'm always looking for encouragement or advice. For those who don't know, in Japan, especially in the old days, prostitutes would tie their obi in the front and not the back because it was just easier. I mean, they had to be taking them on and off all night, so wouldn't it just be more convenient in the front? And I know that there probably isn't a single prostitute in Japan who wears a kimono anymore, especially a male prostitute, but I can always dream, can't I? I love fantasy worlds. Oh well. Write me. Ja ne.
Glossary
oi: hey
hai: yes
hounto (ni): really
sumimasen: excuse me
ja (ne): see you, bye
chotto matte: wait a minute
gomen nasai: I'm very sorry
baishunfu: whore
sayonara: goodbye
iie: no
apaato: apartment
To Be Continued
To the next part