Part IX: Közi
Author: Scarlet Kozi
I tried not to reach down between my legs, but I could feel myself trembling and I knew that my body would explode into flames if I didn't find pleasure soon. I tried not to look at Közi after that first time, either, just because I saw that look in his eyes. It made me want to cry, as he seemed as though he, too, was the one who was about to start sobbing. Tears welled up in my eyes when I thought, "They want me to… to…"
But then I heard Közi's voice, distracting me, and I looked over.
Mana was standing there frowning imperiously down at Közi with one hand on his hip, his posture indicating his superiority. Meanwhile, Közi was still on the floor, now weakened due to his excitement, and his hand, which was shaking, hovered at his mouth. He shook his head rapidly. "No. I can't do it."
"You dare say no to me?" Mana glared at him, his fingers tensing as though he itched to hit him, or act in some other violent way.
"Gomen nasai, Mana-sama. But… please, no."
"What are you complaining about? I thought you would have enjoyed this!"
Közi swallowed hard, his eyes wide and intense, as though he was searching for answers. Perhaps he just wanted to shout out at Mana that he wasn't going to do it and that was that, but of course, that would have been unspeakable. Almost inaudibly, more out of concentration than true timidity, Közi said, "But I… I can't do it. I can't let him do it. He doesn't want to… I can see it. He doesn't deserve this, Mana-sama."
Mana nudged him. "What did I tell you, over and over again?" he demanded fiercely. "You're not supposed to be sympathetic! And you're not supposed to feel any of those things! You have to get that out of your head!"
Közi lifted his hands to his face and turned away. "I can't do it!"
"Shut up! You can and you will. Just get over there and have him do it to you! You both need this! Yu~ki and I are bored, and we want a show. And besides, he needs to learn. He’s never fucked a man before. Now go."
Közi merely sat there for a long moment, trembling, from both grief and arousal, though his face was carefully trained still, for the time being. I stared at him from where I stood, in my similar condition. Once again, they were speaking of things that they had discussed before, when I wasn't here, so I couldn't understand. But it still made my dulled mind wonder. Közi seemed helpless, lost. Just as he'd said to Mana, he wanted to save me from this torture, he didn't want to inflict any more pain upon me, mental or physical, even if it meant that he would be in agony because he hadn't been satisfied.
But at last, as Mana glared vehemently at him, and as Yu~ki poked expectantly at him, trying to get him to move, Közi could no longer protest. He found the strength to stand up on his own, as Yu~ki moved back. Then, taking a long unsteady breath to compose himself, he came over to me.
He almost stumbled on his way over. He seemed to be naturally frail, as most of us were in this business, due to our thinness, but there was a different kind of weakness in his eyes. He found himself at my side again, and once he was there, he stood in front of me and raised his hands to gently hold my face again. Looking into his eyes, I bit hard on my lip. His eyes were empty at first, blank, with that emotionless shield over them. But then he couldn't maintain that anymore, and I saw slight pain, and shame, that he had to ask me to do this. "Klaha…" he whispered.
I couldn't look at him for too long. I felt as though we were like two children against two adults, Közi and I against Mana and Yu~ki, or as though Közi and I were marionettes and Mana and Yu~ki were the puppeteers playing us towards each other. My eyes stinging, I stared down at the floor. "K-Közi…."
His expression softened in pain to hear that tone in my voice. Close to my ear, he murmured, "Don't be afraid of me."
He glanced slowly over his shoulder one last time, and saw that Mana and Yu~ki were sitting there glowering at him. Flinching, he turned back to me and carefully began to move me. He managed to get me away from the wall, for I was starting to comply subconsciously. He and I were both so in need of release that our breaths were heavy and our steps were precarious, while Mana and Yu~ki, both mostly satisfied, watched us intently.
Weakly I tried to ignore the fact that every time Közi touched me, I felt a burst of hot pleasure beneath my skin. At the same time, I was too afraid of what would happen to me if I refused, only able to remember the whip, the pain. Therefore, it wasn't too hard for the equally-slender and pained Közi to move me.
As we were walking, and he was gently leading me, I finally saw his back. And in a long line across the backs of his shoulders was that whip mark that he had taken to save me from pain, what seemed like an eternity ago. At last I could see it. It was cruel and jagged, and had been bleeding. But since no one had tended to it, it was starting to scab oddly, and I had to wonder in shock, would it be permanent? Had he allowed himself to scar perhaps forever, like that, for me?
But Közi couldn't know what was on my mind. His movements dull, he almost fell down as he tried to lower himself to the floor. He laid himself down on his back, and pulled me over to him, without hurting me, by my chains. Then he adjusted me, so that I had climbed on top of him as before, and now I was crouched above him, gazing down at him.
Közi settled himself beneath me. How many times had he done this before? I just didn't know how many times they had made him do this, or with whom of the band. He reached up, cupping my thigh so that I was straddling him, to make me the most comfortable for the time being. He stared up at me with large eyes, with emotions in them that were hard for me to decipher. He then took my hands, linking my arms around his neck so that my fingers were entwined down behind his head. I flinched at first, not sure whether I should pull away or not, and Közi moaned softly, immediately biting on his lip to silence himself, though I could tell he didn't want to part from me.
"You know you want this, dorei-chan," Yu~ki's voice reminded me from somewhere.
Mana agreed in a low voice. "You know your body is aching for it… All you want is to feel yourself coming inside someone else. Why can't it be Közi? He's beautiful, you know he is. You want him, don't you, dorei-chan? He's there for you to take. His body is there for you to push yourself into, again and again, until you come and the ecstasy takes you over. You should thank us for giving you this privilege of actually having control of your pleasures, dorei-chan… because to be allowed to fuck a fellow slave is one of the greatest pleasures of all…"
I couldn't help myself. I let out a little moan that shook in the space between Közi's and my lips, what little space there was left, as we stared into each others' eyes. Those words were so ugly, but they had the desired effect on me.
Közi leaned up and softly pressed his lips against mine. His touch was so gentle. As he reached his hand up I saw that it was shaking visibly, but then he buried his fingers in my hair and pulled my face down closer. He began to kiss my throat tenderly, above the collar, as he carefully wrapped his other arm around my back. At first I swallowed so hard that he was most likely able to feel it through my skin and his own lips, but then I began to succumb. He was being so delicate with me… but why…?
"Please," I heard him whisper. "Please…"
He was begging me? I was shocked. I was so used to being dealt with by my masters, who had not begged for one thing this entire night. They had only commanded me and yelled at me. I could hardly believe it now, when Közi was pleading with me to take him. In the distance Mana made a small disapproving sound, but he decided not to interfere yet.
Even though my body was aching, and even though Közi wasn't threatening me, something inside me still held me back. As Mana had said, I had never done this before with another man. I tried to move away a little bit, even as Közi loosely clung to me, and I murmured back in return, "Please, I… I can't… Don't…" I trailed off barely audibly as I lay on top of him, hardly able to meet his eyes.
When I shifted, more of my skin touched Közi, and unconsciously he let out a small moan. Then, composing himself, he opened his eyes and gazed up at me, reaching up to wipe away one of the tears from my cheeks. But even as he did this… I was shocked a second time. Those really were tears in his eyes also, just like mine. They looked like tears of pain, since he was in as much discomfort as me, but there was also sorrow there, shame, and regret. His voice was very quiet, so that I had to strain to hear him. "I'm so sorry… I'm so sorry, Klaha. If I could choose, I wouldn’t make you. I… I don’t want to ruin you. But… I need you…"
You need me, I wanted to ask, stunned again?
Közi kissed me again, so lightly that I could barely feel it, his slender fingers disappearing in my hair. "Please… Don't fight them. I don't want to see you hurt again. Not again. I need you…"
I stared down at him now shakily, hearing this a second time. Though no words were coming out of me, I was sure that he could read my confusion through my expression and my body language. My philosophy before was that almost anything was better than this: even being taken was better than being forced to take. But my mind was so worn out that I didn't think I could take it anymore, now that my body was itching to find satisfaction. The need was starting to win… and…
Közi swallowed, observing thankfully that I wasn't protesting. He seemed to take comfort in the knowledge that maybe I wouldn't be foolish and get myself in even more trouble. He let out a long, long breath, kissing the corner of my mouth. "Onegai, Klaha…?" Almost timidly asking me.
In a whisper, I responded, "H-Hai."
Suddenly I wanted to please him… I had to please him. He was not my master, and I didn't even care that I was supposed to be pretending that he was, so that I could practice on him as though I was really on top of Mana or Yu~ki. Damn it… I was still so confused! Did I like this, or did I hate it? All I knew abruptly was that I had to do this. Nothing concerned me more than the idea of bringing Közi pleasure, hearing his moans again… Though they had frightened me the first time I'd heard them earlier, now I thought that they would be like music to my ears…
Közi closed his eyes slowly, leaning his head back down, and the glossy blood-red hair slid out of his face. He brought me back down again and kissed me one last time, a slow, passionate kiss.
Then, after making sure that my arms were still weakly linked around his neck, he lifted his own legs up, now that I was on top of him. He slid one black-vinyl-covered leg around my back first, steadying himself, and he let out a little gasp as he did so. Then the other leg. He linked both of the long shapely limbs around my waist, crossing them there. Abruptly, as the space between our bodies was closed, our erections brushed together, and I suddenly flushed and moaned loudly. "O-Oh!"
Közi only gasped, staring up at me, shocked. "K… Klaha…"
Yu~ki was growing a bit impatient. He and Mana were expecting a show, something exciting to watch, and yet here Közi and I were taking so long. "Just do it already," Yu~ki muttered. "I want to see this."
But even though I knew that pleasure would come eventually, I was still unsure of what to do. I wanted to please Közi… badly… but how did I do it? My erection was firmly pressed against Közi's at the moment, and every move I made send a coursing feeling through my body. Both of us were breathing heavily, but I didn't know how to progress from there. I knew that this was different from sex with women, but…
Mana shook his head, frowning. "This won't do at all." He clapped his hands so hard that the sound cracked out and made me look at him like a rabbit within gunshot range. I was disobeying him, and he wasn't about to let me get away with it. Sharply, he said to me, "Take him."
I stared at him.
Mana glared fiercely at me. "Are you stupid?" he demanded. His expression was so ruthlessly twisted that his eyes could have withered a blossoming flower. He hissed at me, "Now! You have to learn how to properly please your masters!"
I knew that much, at least. I couldn't help it if I had never done this before. I looked down at Közi helplessly. His eyes were still closed, his full blood-colored lips slightly parted to allow his breath to come through. Suddenly I recognized how kind he was being to me. Even though he was desperate for release, he wasn't hurting me or forcing me to do it just yet. He was waiting, letting me take my time, though it was killing him.
"Do it!"
I could no longer protest to Mana's commands. My own body was shaking violently enough to make me want to cry harder, and so, gasping, I started to move up against Közi's body of my own will, even as I felt a little twang of dizzied bewilderment and worry. I tried in vain to think of when I had last done this with a girl, but then, Közi's body was much more beautiful to me than any girl's I had ever seen…
In my naivete and experience, I was again moving so slowly that Yu~ki groaned in frustration, and this set Mana off again. He shook his head. "That's it."
Mana came over to the two of us, our bodies pressed against each other on the floor. Közi seemed to be feeling a tiny bit of satisfaction just by having me on top of him, just by feeling my erection on his thigh, and he was laying flat, breathing heavily. He barely even noticed when Mana came over, or perhaps, he ignored it, for he turned his head slightly, not wanting to look at him. However, as Közi's arms kept me positioned just above his face, I turned my head to stare at Mana fearfully again.
Mana shot me another disapproving glare, and went behind me. It felt strange now, for Mana to be positioned behind me and for me to be on top of Közi, but of course Mana wasn't intending to join in.
Mana grabbed my waist, his hands harsh. "You're taking too long!" With that, he gave a talented shove.
In this situation, Mana's strength, which had always seemed somewhat delicate, was enough to do the job. I had already been poised right up near Közi's entrance, and now, thanks to Mana's sudden push, I felt myself sliding abruptly into Közi. Instantly my body flinched violently and I let out a gasp, shocked, my eyes flying open and more tears wrestling loose from them.
Meanwhile, a long passionate moan came out of the surprised Közi. "Ohhh!" he cried out suddenly. His arms came up around me tighter, still gentle, and they pulled me down. He buried his face in my neck and kissed my skin breathlessly. "Klaha…!"
Just hearing him say my name…
Satisfied, Mana moved away from us again. "Now, do it. Both of you."
I had never felt like this before, so I just lay on top of Közi shocked for a moment. Having sex with girls had never felt like this! Közi's entrance, which was probably much more widely-used than mine by this point, was somehow still so tight around my flesh. His muscles were gripping me hard, and his hips were instinctively grinding up against mine, begging for more. The mere sensation was dizzying. I nearly let my arms slip out from under Közi's neck, but I needed something to concentrate on in order to keep myself conscious. I grasped Közi by his slender shoulders as pleasure flooded through me. Was that my own voice?
Közi heard the gasping and slight moaning coming out of me, and without meaning to, his own voice echoed mine. He swallowed hard, then gasped again. "K-Klaha… I'm sorry… Please…"
I had never before heard such a soft, high-pitched, pleading tone in Közi's voice before. Even though tears of shame still dampened my cheeks, I felt my body growing hotter and hotter, my erection lurching inside Közi, and again I knew that I needed to do this. I had to please him, I wanted to. Therefore, I started up a slow rhythm, not at all experienced with this, as I panted hard. I clung to Közi as I pounded into him again and again, faster and faster. I strove for maximum penetration to end my own suffering quickly, but doing this doubled Közi's satisfaction also, thankfully. The fact that I could go so deep made every stroke end in his ultimate pleasure.
Közi was gasping now, his face flushed, his eyelashes fluttering. "Ah!"
I didn't know why, but I was crying, even as my hips continued sliding back and forth. Perhaps it was because of all the pain I had been through tonight. Perhaps it was because I was so confused, so bewildered by all of this. Or perhaps it was just because it felt so good…
Közi was crying also. I don't know why. For some reason, a flash hit my mind and told me that he was crying from joy, but I was almost aghast and wondered what made me think that. The tears were streaming down his face, and sometimes when he pressed his lips feverishly against my cheek now and again, I could hear a choked sob reach my ear. But through his own passion, his own tears, Közi could see that I was crying. He knew that I never cried, at least not before today, and maybe he could ignore his pleasure for a moment to try and comfort me, as he had before, more than once.
He slid his hands up and down my sides, stroking my back, trying to soothe me as we both sobbed and rocked together. I was shaking violently, however, even more so than him, and no amount of caressing could easily calm me down. Therefore, even as he moaned against his will, Közi pulled me down to him, closing his eyes.
"I'm sorry," he whispered in my ear again, stifling another gasp, or a sob. "Please don't cry…"
I clutched him back and kept on weeping. I wanted to tell him no, that he shouldn't be concerned with my tears. He should have listened to himself: he was crying too! And after all, he'd been a slave for so much longer than me, hadn't he? And I was the one who was supposed to be worrying about pleasing them, practicing this skill on Közi, who was supposed to be enjoying it. I could only hope that he was enjoying himself… that I was satisfying him…
I looked down and saw, as he leaned his head back down from that last whisper, that he was biting hard on his lip, as his salty tears mingled. I felt a small pull, wishing that I could stop him from crying, although I myself was doing the same.
I couldn't help but promise myself, again, that I would bring him more pleasure. I pumped into and out of him again and again, then looked down and saw his erection trapped between us. He needed me, and he had said so himself. I moved my arms back from around his neck a bit and let one hand go down, taking his length in my hand. It was so difficult to focus, and my mind was spinning so quickly, but I mustered up enough concentration to start stroking Közi to the rhythm of my thrusts.
He gasped, flinching, not expecting this. He arched his back without meaning to and his lips parted, his eyes flew open. "O-Oh!"
Sometimes I stole glimpses of him, as our bodies pitched about on the floor. I could see that he was starting to lose himself in his pleasure. Apparently it felt so good for him that he could hardly even remain conscious anymore. We had partially switched roles again: now he was the one who almost seemed as though he was about to pass out, for his eyes rolled back up into his head a bit as more whimpers came out of him. He grabbed ahold of my shoulders again, closing some space between our two bodies as he buried his face in my neck, convulsing.
The grip of his legs tightened around my waist, trying to pull me in deeper, maybe to bring my entire body inside of his. Közi cried out, again and again, as I obediently shoved into him and massaged his length in my hands. "Oh, God, Klaha… Aaaahh! More…"
I choked back a gasp and continued, blood rushing into my face.
In fact, I even started pumping him harder, in both ways, determined to see him through this. I almost forgot entirely about Mana and Yu~ki for the time being. My hands and my body moved almost too quickly for the amount of energy that I was using, but at least Közi was enjoying it too. His cries grew louder, more fevered, and this time, all he could manage was my name. "K-Klaha…! Klaha! Klaha! Unnnhh… Klaha!"
But I didn't mind… and I couldn't explain the emotional rather than physical feeling that suddenly exploded inside me, to hear him calling out my name like that…
Közi's window-shaking climax was fast on its way. I wondered how I could tell this. It was just something that I could sense, as I'd been able to much earlier when I was on the ground between his legs. It was puzzling how I was so in tune with his body. As Közi gripped me to him, he continued to buck his hips to accept my thrusts, moaning, repeatedly, so violently that I almost felt my bones being squeezed together. But to counter the tightness of his hold, his fingers caressed my cheek suddenly, softly, as it all happened.
By chance, we were on a squeaky board in the floor, so as our bodies rocked back and forth, violently pitching and lurching on the flat surface, a loud creaking sound kept time with each thrust.
At last, Közi came. Suddenly a long lingering moan ripped out of him, gasping with his passion and his complete ecstasy. "Ohhhh! Klaha! I… I love you… Aishiteru yo…"
I heard a gasp from somewhere. Mana? Yu~ki? Or both?
Közi's entire body shuddered, wildly and blindly, quivering beneath me. His muscles contracted around my erection, and abruptly he arched his back another time and moistened my stomach, only a moment after I withdrew my hands, just in time.
I gasped to feel this, and so, I couldn't hold it in either. ‘Did… Did he just tell me that he loved me…?’
Even though Közi had attained orgasm, he kept clutching me, wanting me to keep riding him, so I kept it up, feeling as though any minute I would black out. I was seeing stars, instead of Közi's face beneath me, but I wanted desperately to be able to look into his eyes, and I hated the black blurriness that shielded him from me, as I fought to clear it away. My body was rapidly weakening, but I couldn't stop. I tightened my arms around him again, holding him.
Since Közi's muscles had tightened when he came, I felt the sudden pleasure that I needed. I cried out, whimpering, gasping, sobbing, and I came. My flood erupted inside of Közi's body, filling him.
Közi leaned up as I sank down on top of him. His fingers, as they touched me, were still shaking, and I realized that only partially was it because of his orgasm. The other part was because he was still crying. His face once again disappeared beneath the long shade of my black hair. Panting heavily, murmuring, he nuzzled into my neck, gentle as he kissed my white skin while drifting back down from ecstasy.
"Thank you," he breathed, then kissed my trembling lips. "Klaha…"
This almost felt normal, like real sex, between two people who merely loved each other, and that was all… sex where nothing else was involved, for now, just lovers who were enjoying each others' presence. But just when I was about to lean up and stare down into his eyes, ask him about what he'd said, I realized that it couldn't last too long.
Soon, hands were pulling me off of him…
---to be continued---
GLOSSARY
dorei-chan: "slave"
onegai: please
hai: yes
aishiteru yo: I love you
To be continued
To the next part