Title: Take This Heart
Author: Psy ([email protected])
Genre: Romance
Rating: PG-13 for now
Band: Dir en grey
Pairing: Kaoru & Toshiya
Comments: Originally I was going to write this about the same way I wrote "Any Way You Can" but then decided that would be silly. Two different people, two different attitudes. It just couldn't go the same way. So, if this part seems a little out of synch with Part One, it's because I had that quick change of mind. Hopefully, everything will still go smoothly. Please let me know what you think...I feel kinda silly writing all these fics and not getting any response from anyone! So, please...
Take This Heart
by Psy
Part Two
Kaoru had his eyes closed as he leaned his head back against the headrest of his seat. The tour bus rocked soothingly and the motion seemed to ease the tension in his neck, though his head still throbbed. That little talk with Shinya had given him one helluva headache. But it had made him realize how foolish he was acting. He wasn't the type to run away from a problem he couldn't solve. In fact, he prided himself on being responsible enough to face his problems head on. And right now, Toshiya was his problem.
Tilting his head just a smidgen to the right, Kaoru looked at Toshiya in the seat ahead of him across the small aisle. He was reading one of those detecetive novels he liked, brushing his short blondish-brown hair from his face every now and then. That beautiful face, one of the finest ever created in Kaoru's opinion, was a study in concentration. Toshiya was completely absorbed in his book...and he looked so damned cute as his eyes flitted across the pages rapidly.
Kaoru readjusted his head against the headrest and sighed. I need to tell him. Even if nothing comes of it, I need to tell him. I can't keep torturing myself like this. It might be a bit awkward afterwards...I mean, if he doesn't feel the same way, but at least I'd know. I need to know! Closing his eyes once more, Kaoru made up his mind to visit the object of his desire at his hotel room later that night. If they ever reached the damn hotel! God, it felt like they'd been driving for a week! Sighing a bit more deeply this time, Kaoru felt his headache begin to dissipate and he fell into a light slumber.
~*~
"Wakey, wakey, Sleeping Beauty!"
His eyes fluttered and then his heart followed suit as Kaoru saw Toshiya standing above him, a wide grin on his face, those adorable crooked teeth on display for all to see, making him all the more attractive.
"We're finally at the hotel, Kaoru," he informed the groggy man happily. "I'm completely exhausted! I just want a shower and a bed and I'll be the happiest little rock star in the world!"
Kaoru chuckled and grabbed his cigarettes off the seat next to him then rose to follow Toshiya off the bus and into the hotel. The rest of the band had already received their room keys and were impatiently waiting for the elevator to arrive. Poor Shinya was practically supporting a half-asleep Kyo and having a hard time of it. The vocalist was pretty much dead weight at this point and even Shinya in his infinite ( and surprising )strength just couldn't hold him up. Just as the elevator arrived the small man dropped unceremoniously into a heap on the marble floor. The dull thud caused the few guests still milling about at the late hour and the staff on the clock to turn sharply.
"Nnnnn...." Kyo groaned and sat up, rubbing the small of his back with one hand and the back of his head with the other. "What the fuck...?"
When he looked up at his koi for answers, the slender man shrugged and stated simply, " You fell."
"Yeah, no kidding," he mumbled as he got to his feet. He shot a few hard looks at those watching and stuck his tongue out at Kaoru and Toshiya, who stood at the check-in desk smothering laughter. "Yuck it up, guys. I'll get you for it eventually."
The two men's eyes widened with fear (when Kyo made a threat, it was more of a promise and it was wise to take it seriously. Die certainly knew that!) and they exchanged a quick glance before willing their faces to relax into cool, nonchalant expressions. Kyo gave a sharp nod of his head as if to say, "That's better!" before he stepped into the elevator with Shinya and Die. As soon as the doors closed, Toshiya and Kaoru dissolved into laughter, wrapping their arms around each other to support themselves as they shook with said laughter. It was several seconds before Kaoru's mild bout of hysteria subsided and he realized he was in Toshiya's arms. His face went blank as he held onto the still laughing man, wondering how long he could revel in the feel of that long, lithe body pressed so innocently against his own. He felt his sex stir and he hastily put Toshiya from him. The younger man gave him a questioning look, but Kaoru kept his face blank and took his room key from the desk. Toshiya shrugged it off and, picking up his own key, followed Kaoru to the elevator.
Toshiya rubbed the back of his neck in what looked like an almost nervous gesture. He fixed a playful smile on his face. "Guess Shin-chan won't be having any fun tonight."
"Hnn..." Kaoru grunted. He was far too busy trying to control his body. God, the things Toshiya did to him!
The bassist frowned slightly and looked up at the numbers above the elevator doors. The number 8 lit up and he sighed. Tenth floor was no picnic, he thought. All this waiting around for the stupid elevator. He looked back at Kaoru, who was just then breathing a sigh of relief as he seemed to win over his raging hormones, unbeknownst to the man standing next to him.
"Hey, Kaoru-kun, you okay?"
Kaoru looked over. Toshiya seemed concerned. "Yeah, I'm fine...Well, I'm not completely fine. There's something kind of important I need to do and it's weighing heavily on my mind. Don't worry about it." He smiled.
This caused Toshiya to smile back, tilting his head to the side as he did so. "Okay, well...you don't worry about it, either. I'm sure it'll turn out well, whatever it is."
"I hope so, Totchi," Kaoru replied quietly. The elevator dinged and the doors opened. Sweeping an arm and bowing gracefully, Kaoru indicated that Toshiya go in ahead of him. Toshiya giggled a bit and batted his eyelashes before stepping inside. Kaoru felt his breath hitch in his throat as he watched Toshiya sashay inside, his round little tush swaying slightly, and just exactly at Kaoru's eye level. Apparently he'd won that first little battle with his body, but not the war. He felt himself harden almost painfully and he adjusted his shirt to try to cover it as he stepped into the elevator.
They rode five floors in silence before Toshiya sighed loudly and laid his head on Kaoru's shoulder.
"I hate elevators," he complained.
"Um...Gomenasai..." Kaoru was both unsure of what to say and afraid that he would blurt out his feelings where they were rather in more comfortable surroundings.
Toshiya shrugged his slender shoulders slightly. "Eh, not your fault." He sighed again, but this time it was a sound of contentment and he snuggled against Kaoru's shoulder a bit. "You're comfy, Kao-chan."
Kaoru bit his lip and drew in a shaky breath. "Thanks, Totchi. I...uh...aim to please."
His attempt at humor elicited a giggle from the tall man bending over almost awkwardly to lean against him. Suddenly the elevator doors opened and Toshiya straightened up with a yawn. Kaoru tried to hide the disappointment he felt and, as usual, succeeded. He was a natural with poker faces. They stepped off the elevator and walked down the hall. Their rooms were right across from each other.
Well, that's convenient, Kaoru thought with a wry smile.
"So, you going right to sleep?" He asked Toshiya.
Toshiya shook his head. "No. I want that shower, remember?" Kaoru made a face and nodded while Toshiya went into thinking mode. "Or maybe I'll go for a bath. Yeah. A nice soak in the tub would be really nice right about now. Very relaxing, ne?"
Kaoru nodded dumbly as images of a wet, naked Toshiya danced provocatively through his head causing even more blood to surge to his engorged organ. He glanced down nervously and shifted away from the other man. He cleared his throat. "Right. Yeah. That does sound very...relaxing." He watched Toshiya unlock his door and step just inside. Toshiya turned and raised his eyebrow.
"Are you going in?"
"Huh?" Kaoru turned to the locked door behind him and winced before turning back to Toshiya with a shrug and a smile. "Oh, yeah. Hehehe. Must be tired, you know?"
Toshiya smiled and nodded. "Well, oyasumi nasai, Kao-chan."
"Oyasumi nasai, Totchi." Kaoru waved and then stood for a minute or so staring at the closed door as he imagined Toshiya undressing, letting the clothing fall from his tall, slender, and muscled body as he made his way into the bathroom to run the water for his soak in the tub. He shuddered and hastily opened his room door.
Once inside, Kaoru's hand immediately went to the bulge in his pants. He rubbed his erection through his jeans as he walked to the bed. Sitting on the edge of the bed, Kaoru continued to massage his arousal, a bit harder now, and a small moan escaped his lips.
Should I? he wondered through the quickly thickening haze of lust that enveloped him. It certainly wouldn't do to go over to Toshiya's room with a raging hard-on, now would it?
Satisfied that he'd found a logical and sound reason to gratify himself, Kaoru wriggled out of his pants and laid back on the bed. His hand went back to his erection and he sighed with pleasure as he wrapped it around the shaft. The knock on his door came as a complete surprise. Kaoru jumped up and, cursing, slipped his pants back on. The ache in his groin was almost unbearable, but the knocking was the kind of insistent knocking that demanded attention and let you know that the person on the other side of the door was prepared and willing to knock for as long as they needed to get your attention. That could only be one person...
Kaoru swung open the door.
"Die."
The other guitarist flashed his patented billion-watt smile and walked into the room. "Hey, Kaoru. Were you sleeping? Wanna hang out? Get a beer maybe? Pick up chicks?"
Kaoru was still staring blankly into the hall as Die swept into the room and began taling a mile a minute. More specifically, Kaoru was staring at the door to Toshiya's room. He sighed, shook his head to clear it, and turned around, closing the door behind him.
"Die, look, I really don't..." Kaoru stopped mid-sentence as Die's face fell. He looked so damned forlorn, Kaoru could hardly stand it. "Why ask me?"
Die shrugged and plopped down on the bed. "'Cause Kyo is completely passed out, as in dead to the world, and we both know he'll stay that way for a long time yet. Shinya won't want to go anywhere without letting Kyo know exactly where and whatnot and since you can't wake that man up once he's asleep, Shinya wouldn't be able to tell him." Die sighed and rolled his eyes. "Not like Kyo would even care, but it'd bug the hell outta Shinya. He'd feel all guilty and crap."
"Right." Kaoru nodded slowly. "Look, I'm sorry, but I had something else planned tonight."
"Oh..." The redhead frowned and hung his head for a moment. His shoulders lifted and fell and he got to his feet. "Well...uh...Okay, I guess...I guess I'll, uh..." He shrugged once again and headed for the door.
Kaoru knew Die was only acting so depressed so that he'd change his mind, but it was a damn good act and he'd feel like an asshole if he let the man walk out of his hotel room. Putting his thoughts of Toshiya on the back burner in his mind, Kaoru threw an arm over Die's shoulders.
"Come on, Die. Let's hit the town."
_______________________________________________________________________
Went a little long there, didn't I? Eh, I'm sure you enjoyed it! *grin* At least, I hope you did. Sorry it took so long to get this out, but things have been hectic: my mom is crazy, my brothers are crazy, their dad is crazy...basically everyone in my family or in association with my family is crazy! But I did manage to get this done, so be thankful for small favors! Ja ne, minna-san!
To be continued
To the next part