Title: Any Way You Can
Author: Psy ([email protected])
Genre: I still don't know...If you do know, please tell me!
Rating: Probably still PG at this particular point in time
Band: Dir en grey
Pairing: Shinya and Kyo
Comments: I get a little deeper into Shinya's head this time around. He's doing a bit of soul-searching and reflecting. This part is much more serious than the first, but for those of who enjoyed my insane ramblings in Part One, never fear! They shall return! ^____^
Any Way You Can
by Psy
Part Two
Shinya stomped through the halls of the photo studio, still fuming and
half not believing he had blown up at his band mates. It just made him so
angry when they did things like that! They always made him the butt of their
jokes and tried to pin their stupid pranks on him. Outwardly he would smile
and try to laugh with them, try to be good-natured and forgiving, but on the
inside it tore him apart. It made him angry and it hurt. Did they really
think so little of him? Did they think that just because he was the youngest
and quietest that gave them the right to say all those hurtful things? That
he didn't have any feelings?
He sighed and stopped, leaning against the wall and slumping to the
ground. He felt like crying. He knew it would do no good, but
sometimes...sometimes he felt so unwanted. Oh, he knew that Die and Kaoru and
Toshiya and even Kyo liked him, considered him a friend, and they were the
best friends he'd ever had, but they had this uncanny knack to make him feel
completely and utterly alone. Maybe not Kaoru so much...and definitely not
Kyo, although they rarely talked. But Kyo seemed just as alone and insecure
as he did, so Shinya never got angry with him. In fact, in some strange way
it made him feel closer to Kyo. But he could never find the courage to get
the vocalist alone in order to have a real talk, not just, "Hey. How's it
going?"
And lately...lately Shinya had been having strange feelings whenever he
looked at Kyo. He didn't quite know how to explain it and to be honest, they
kind of scared him. Just earlier, when he'd been trying to wake Kyo up, he
had gotten the strongest urge to touch his face. Just lightly, with one
finger, touch his cheek and let it trail upwards into that unruly mop of
blond hair. Shinya shuddered at the odd, delicious sensation sent up his
spine by that thought. Then his eyes suddenly widened with shock.
"Why am I having these thoughts?" he asked the empty hall. "I don't
understand..."With a sigh Shinya drew his knees to his chest and lowered his
head.
"Don't understand what?"
Jerking his head up, Shinya saw Kyo standing over him. Kyo had changed
into a pair of loose black leather pants and a plain white tee with some sort
of demonic-looking creature on it. His make-up was washed off and only his
lip and nose rings remained. He looked incredibly sexy standing there with
his right hip jutted out ever so slightly with his right hand resting on it
and his other hand running through his messy blond hair, a curious expression
on his face.
"Don't understand what, Shin-chan?" Kyo asked again, leaning in a bit.
"You go deaf or something?"
Shinya shook his head. "Uh...gomen ne, Kyo. It...It's nothing, really."
Kyo shrugged. "Okay. Whatever. What are you doing here by yourself?
Everybody's been looking for you." Kyo sat down cross-legged in front of
Shinya and leaned forward, a small smile playing on his full lips. "I heard
you chewed them out big time. Way to go! I've always thought you oughtta take
some initiative and stand up for yourself."
"Really?" Shinya was surprised.
Kyo nodded. "Yeah. You let Die and Toshiya treat you like shit, man."
Shinya sighed. "I know...but...I mean, they're only messing around. And I
don't think they really mean to hurt my feelings..."
"Why are you sticking up for them?" Kyo demanded a bit angrily. "Who
gives a fuck if they mean to hurt your feelings or not! Intent doesn't matter
if the result is pain."
"Why are you getting so angry?!" the now rather confused drummer asked.
Kyo seemed surprised to be asked. He leaned back and cleared his throat
several times, looking off to the side down the hall. He suddenly looked very
uncomfortable. "I'm not angry...exactly. I just don't like to see people feel
like they have to put up with other people's bull shit. And you're my friend,
so...so it kinda pisses me off more."
Shinya merely stared at him, not quite sure what to say. This was the
first time he'd ever really been alone with the older vocalist and he had
certainly never imagined their first one-on-one conversation to be anything
like this. He swallowed and tentatively reached out to touch Kyo's shoulder.
The blond turned his head slowly and looked down at the hand. Shinya wondered
briefly if he should remove it, but bravely kept it there until Kyo looked
him in the eyes.
"Arigatou, Kyo-kun," he said quietly. "For...for caring...about...that."
The two men stayed in that position for what seemed an eternity to both;
Shinya's slender-fingered hand resting on Kyo's shoulder, their eyes locked.
There was something in Kyo's gaze that vaguely frightened Shinya. A fire that
seemed to leap out and lick at a tiny wick of desire in the pit of the
younger man's stomach. It seemed even his hand burned. His throat went dry
and his breath felt shallow. Oh God! he thought, lowering his eyes and
breaking the stare, letting his hand fall away from Kyo.
Kyo blinked a couple of times. "...yeah...so that was odd..."
"Huh?" Shinya looked up again to see Kyo rise, a puzzled expression on
his face as he chewed at his lip ring.
The vocalist shook his head. "Nothing, I guess. Just didn't realize how
warm it was in this little hallway."
"Oh."
"So, come on. Get up before the others send out a police search party for
the two of us! You stalked off, like, a half an hour ago and when I left
Toshiya was about ready to cry ...again." Kyo rolled his eyes and Shinya
smiled a little. That brought a smile to Kyo's face as well. Shinya stood up,
smoothed down his short skirt, and pulled at the tops of his vinyl thigh-high
boots, fiddling with the maze of buckles in a small attempt to prolong his
time alone with Kyo.
"Shin-chan, let it be!" Kyo ordered with an exasperated sigh. "It's not
like you aren't gonna be taking all that crap off in the next ten minutes!"
Shinya blushed and straightened up. "Uh...yeah, right. Gomen ne."
Kyo rolled his eyes again and started walking toward the dressing room.
Shinya quickly followed him, staying a few steps behind. His throat still
felt tight and dry, his heart was still beating just a little too fast, and
having his gaze inexplicably locked onto Kyo's shapely behind for the second
time that day was not helping! Shinya closed his eyes tightly and tried to
rid himself of the ecchi thoughts running through his head.
What is going on?! he thought. Suddenly the answer popped into his head.
No! It can't be! Do I...Do I...
He stopped walking and simply stared after Kyo.
Do I have a crush on Kyo?!
______________________________________________________________________________
Okay, who saw that one coming? Show of hands?
*sweatdrops as several thousand hands shoot up and wave furiously*
Um...yeah...aaaannyyywaaayyyy...I am currently working on Part Three. I have
no idea how long this fic is going to be, but if you're enjoying it so far
(and I hope you are! ) please be patient! I foresee yaoi-ness by Part Four
and possibly some hardcore lemon in the chapters to follow. What can I say? I
have issues!
Mata ne, minna-san!
To be continued
To the next part