Bound by Blood
Track Seven: Undecided
Background for the Story: Yoshiki and Shinya are cousins. Shinya is present day 17 years old and Yoshiki is 19. ^__^
ummm... here:
"..." - dialogue, what is really said
~...~ - thoughts, what the people think
//...// - flashback, what they remember
**...** - what Shinya hears come out from people's mouths
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The psychiatrist stood before him, gathering papers and saying, "Well, that's it for today, Shinya-kun. Please take care of yourself, ne?" Shinya looked away from the white clad doctor. //Hmph... take care of myself, eh? What do they expect me to do for myself in this stupid hospital room all by myself, ne? Hmph... these doctors are stupider than I would've first expected...//
"I think there's been some improvement," Kiyobonu-sensei (the psychiatrist) said to Kaoru. They were standing outside the room which contained Shinya. "At least he's been freely talking more. Though I don't feel as if I'm making any real contact..." The doctor sighed and pushed his violet hair out of his face. "He's rejecting me and I can't help him if he just pushes me farther and farther away."
"I'm sorry, but thank you for all your help," Kaoru bowed and looked back at Shinya, who had started to paint again. They would've allowed him to keep a drumset with him had he not betrayed their trust by attempting to poke his left eye out with a drumstick. Nonetheless, the drummer had looked somewhat even more wasted away than he was before entering the assylum. //What can we do to help you, Shinya? Tell us, what can we do?//
"Can I talk to him later?" Die was talking to Kiyonobu-sensei. "I want to see if there's anything I can do... I wanna help Shinya in any way possible!" The purple haired doctor looked thoughtful for a while and finally decided, "I guess it won't hurt. After all, it's nice to have visitors every now and then, ne?" He smiled an adorable Inoran smile. Die couldn't help it and smiled as well white nodding his head enthusiastically. Aren't smiles contagious?
Shinya watched Die through the glass, wondering //Does he really want to help me?// The voices answered his mental question, //You know he's just pretending. No one wants to help you and even if his intentions are true, no one can help you. No one can save you from yourself; no one can save you from Yoshiki. There's no way you'll get out of this, Shinya. You're in too deep to turn back.// Shinya sighed and tore the canvas from the easel, throwing both to the ground and spilling the can of red paint.
"Shinya!" Die yelled outside. The doctors checked on him and in seconds several orderlies were fixing up Shinya and taking him back to his other 'bed'room. Shinya shot Die a glare, which softened until his eyes took a puppy dog type of look. "Help... me... please..." the soft red lips mouthed out to Die. The guitarist backed up in shock, but quickly recovered, chasing after the orangey-brown haired guitarist. "Wait! Shinya!"
"Please don't make this any harder for anyone, Die-san!" Kiyonobu-sensei held Die back. Die turned hopelessly in the direction of the disappearing Shinya. Shinya looked near tears, but the sensitive expression quickly changed to one of hatred. //That psychiatrist... wants to take Die. He doesn't want Die to help me! He hasn't been helping anyway!// Shinya's eyes glared into Die's and then travelled to Inoran's, striking hard until the door slammed between them and their eye contact was broken.
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"I want to talk to him again, soon." Yoshiki looked at the doctor before him. Sugihara-sensei was wearing fishnet stockings and a white skirt which had a long slit reaching halfway up his thigh. He was attractive, but Yoshiki's eyes were set on another individual. "I may be able to help him. Really! I believe it! Please, let me talk to him on a regular basis... Since I'm the cause of most of his pain, I really want to ease it! Please, I beg you... let me talk to my cousin!"
Sugihara-sensei sighed and scratched his head. "It's really hard to say whether we can or not. That time we had to take so many security procautions and even then, I don't believe you two were safe in the same compound. Anyway, you see, we're helping him already as much as we can and-"
"But it's not the same!" Yoshiki interrupted. He quickly realized his rudeness and bowed his head, saying," I'm sorry." Sugihara-sensei scratched his head again, this time with a pencil, and sighed once more. "I don't think I can do this favor for you, but I'll try. I'll have to talk with my supervisor first though, so don't get your hopes too high, okay?"
"Hai!" Yoshiki nodded his head dramatically. "Arigatou gozaimashita!" Sugihara-sensei patted him on the head and said, "That's a good boy. Now, you'll have to excuse me. It's time for some tea."
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"He's just using you, that's all," Toshi's 'girlfriend' fingered through Toshi's black hair. "He just wants you to sing for him. That bastard broke your dream of becoming a doctor and he hasn't returned any of the favors you've granted him. Now see? He's falling in love with that guitarist! That pink-haired wonder is going to break your relationship with him and soon he'll be Yoshiki's best friend and you'll just be a memory. He only wants your voice, Toshi. That's all."
"But... but I can't believe that!" Toshi was shaking his head violently, but Kaori pulled his head down against her breast. "I can't believe that he'd use me! We're such great friends and we've always been together... I just can't believe Yoshiki only wants my voice!"
"But darling, can't you see it? You've been drifting farther apart and it's hide who getting between you two. You can't be best friends any longer! You can't dedicate your whole self to X anymore! I know you love X, but they're only using you and you know it. So, you have no choice - you must leave X Japan!"
"No! I won't! Kaori... I'm sorry for screaming, but I... I just can't leave X Japan." Toshi sighed and closed his eyes. "I'm so sorry..."
Kaoru stroked his head and smiled evilly. //Don't worry. I'll soon have you away from that devil and you'll be mine.//
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"A visitor, huh?" Shinya looked up at the guard and then back down at the straight jacket. "Sure, I'll see whoever it is." The guard disappeared into the hallway and Dir en Grey's rhythm guitarist stepped into the white room. His red hair contrasted the white padding perfectly, almost like a blood stain against the soft material. Shinya blinked a couple times, trying to hide his excitement. //See? Die's here! He's going to help me!//
"Hi, Shinya!" After Die walked in, the guard shut the door. The young orderly leaned against the wall close to the door and sighed. Watching over crazy people was tiring. "Hey there, Sakito-chan!" The nurse Miyabi walked forward and looked down at the shorter guard. "How are you today?" Sakito smiled,
"Tired as ever..." Miyabi pouted but quickly replaced it with a bright smile. "Just take care of yourself, ne? Everything's going to be okay. Besides, Shinya-san will get better." He winked. "Kitto." Sakito's smile grew. Miyabi placed his pointer finger over his own lips and said, "Well, I've got to go now. Bye bye Saki-chan!" Sakito watched as the nurse ran off. A smile played on his lips.
It had always been Miyabi's dream to meet Dir en Grey, just as it was Sakito's. Of course, neither indies boy believed they would meet their idols in such a terrible predicament. They had always thought if they were in fact to meet Dir en Grey, it would be at a record label or a concert or something, not in the assylum they worked in. Sakito sighed and peeked into the white room, watching as the two jrockers sat down together. //How strange that everything had to turn out this way...//
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"How have you been feeling?" Shinya asked the red-head. Die cocked his head to one side and replied, "I've been well, but I've been better also." **I've been well, never been better.** Shinya's eye twitched. "Really? So, why you're in such a good mood today?"
"I'm not really in a good mood Shinya." Die couldn't make himself lock eyes with the drummer. //Why can't you just look at his eyes? He won't believe you if you don't make eye contact!// "I'm pretty good, I mean that I haven't been sick or anything and nothing bad's been going on lately, but I'm still upset since you're still here." **I'm pretty good, I mean that I haven't been or anything and nothing bad's been going on lately, but I'm well since you're still here.**
The taunting voices in Shinya's mind laughed at him while his own ego attempted to calm himself down. //He didn't say that... He didn't just say that he's relieved that you're still in the assylum! He didn't... Die wants to help you!// The drummer smiled sadly, yet a tinge of evil lingered on his lips. "Is something wrong?" Die inquired, worrying about the carrot-top.
"It's just... I thought you would've had a better intention if you visited." Shinya smiled, "But I guess not." Die's face twisted from a happy look to a replica of confusion. "You're just like everyone else, aren't you Die?"
"What do you mean?" Die placed his hand on Shinya's knee. "I just wanted to see you. I want to help you, Shinya." Shinya slapped away his hand and snapped, "Usotsuki!" Die backed up in shock. Outside, Sakito was no longer watching the two and was text messaging Kazuki using his cell about the next practice. "I'm sorry, Die," Shinya took Die's hand in his own again and started stroking the red mark which he had left on the guitarist's skin.
"It's okay, I'm sorry if I visited during a bad time." Die smiled nervously. //Geez... I liked the Shinya who was quiet who accepted my teasing a lot better than the moody one. Even though he used to punch me twice as hard as that slap, it was fun that way. I wish we could return to times like that...// Die was lost in his thoughts and didn't realize that Shinya was licking the slap mark on his hand. The guitarist watched in complete shock. The drummer looked up at him, locking their eyes together, with a sensual smirk. //What is going on?// Though Die tried to stop himself, he couldn't stop
his body from getting turned on, even by this minor action that the drummer took.
"It's okay, you can come here whenever you want, Die," Shinya placed Die's hand on the latter's lap, brushing his hand dangerously close to a growing heat. "But for now, I think you should go. I'm tired and besides, it's late." Shinya smiled evilly or kindly or something. Die couldn't read the emotions behind the smile playing on the drummer's lips. "Oyasuminasai, Die-kun."
"Nnn, oyasumi." Die walked up to the heavy door and knocked, startling Sakito who quickly opened the door and relocked it, grabbing his fallen cell from the floor. As he walked away, Die felt shivers tingling up his spine and quickly ran out of the building before anyone noticed the bulge in his somewhat tight black leather pants.
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"I've been thinking," Toshi said in front of the other five members of X. "I've been thinking a lot lately. And I don't think I'll be able to stay for practice. Actually I think I have to leave already." Yoshiki was about to ask why, but Toshi quickly answered the unasked question, "Because I've been asked to join something. It's kind of a cult type gathering, but my girlfriend asked I attend a meeting with her, so..."
Yoshiki lay back in his chair and said, "It's okay, Toshi. Practice is dismissed for now I guess. How's Monday for everyone?" Everyone nodded or said some comment which gave Yoshiki the clearance to announce, "All right then, next Monday it is! Enjoy your break for today everyone! And enjoy yourself too, Toshi. Have fun with your girlfriend, ne?" Yoshiki smiled and patted the vocalist on the back. "All right, oyasumi!"
Toshi was heading out the door when hide grabbed his hand, pulling him close. hide leaned up close to Toshi's ear and whispered, "Be careful with those cult gatherings. Take care of yourself since you never know what can happen at those things." Toshi slapped away hide's hand and whispered back, "You're the last person I want to hear that sort of advice from, hide."
As Toshi left the apartment, hide watched in wonder. //What just happened back there? I think I was rejected... odd, Toshi doesn't normally talk to me like that. I wonder...//
To Be Continued
To the next part