Bound by Blood
Track Six: Silent Jealousy
Background for the Story: Yoshiki and Shinya are cousins. Shinya is present day 17 years old and Yoshiki is 19. ^__^
ummm... here:
"..." - dialogue, what is really said
~...~ - thoughts, what the people think
//...// - flashback, what they remember
**...** - what Shinya hears come out from people's mouths
Ummm... apparently Shinya isn't the only one with problems in this fic, ne? ^__^ To Saffire-san: actually I was planning on a pairings from the beginning... ^___^ Don't worry! Hopefully this will be good enough!
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Yoshiki abandoned the piece of metal, leaving hide and Toshi running after him from the crowd in the train. They had taken a train to Osaka and the hordes of screaming fangirls were almost too much to handle for the three of them. Toshi ran ahead of hide (but hide kept catching up since he's a faster runner than the vocalist) and yelled in the direction Yoshiki headed, "Wait! COME BACK HERE!"
The famed leader of X burst into the house he once knew as home. A servant turned to him and bowed saying, "Ah! Yoshiki-san! Welcome home!" He slammed his fist against the side of the door and yelled, "Where's my mother!?" The servant was shocked and stammered, "Sh-she's up-s-s-tairs, s-s-ir..."
Yoshiki jumped up the spiral staircase, four steps in one bound. The other two ran inside, stopped in the doorway to pant and catch their breath. Toshi looked to the servant who pointed up and said, "Up-s-s-tairs..." Toshi started running up immediately while hide stopped a while to say, "Arigatou!" to the shaken up servant girl.
The drummer threw open her door, finding her in bed with some man. He grabbed her by the hair and roughly pulled her out of, nearly screaming, "AND JUST WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING NOW?!" He threw his bare mother against the floor and covered her with a towel continuing, "JUST WHAT KIND OF MOTHER ARE YOU?"
"Yoshiki dear! You're home!" She smiled and hugged her boy, only to get slapped away. "AAHH! Yoshiki! What are you doing??" The man in her bed sat up, looking protective of her. Yoshiki glared at the man and inquired, "And just who is that?"
"You're new father, Yoshiki..." his mother smiled. "Now, please calm down. I know you've gone through a lot to get here, so why don't we just sit down and talk like mother and son?" Yoshiki made a disgusted face as hide and Toshi finally arrived at the top of the stairs.
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"What do you want?" Shinya looked up at the figure behind the glass. He pierced it with one of his ice-cold glares and continued, "Are you here to force me to tell you everything also? Are you going to 'help' me like those stupid psychiatrists?"
"No... it's not like that, but I'm not sure if I can help," he sounded weak and pathetic, quite unlike the normal. He was usually so loud... so strong-sounding... "I really want to help, but I don't know how. I can't stop shadows in your own mind from haunting you, no matter how much I would love to. I'd like to wake you and whisper that it was all a dream. But I don't know how... I would love to help you... those psychiatrists aren't doing anything for you... I wish I could help you more than them, but even if you talk your heart out and tell us all of your problems, what can we do then? I want to, believe me, I want to so much, but I don't have all the solutions for your problems. I don't think I can help, though I want to support you. I want to believe in you. I want to believe that you can save yourself from your nightmares and eventually, we'll play together again, ne? We'll stand on stage together and play again, ne? Together again, as Dir en Grey" He smiled, one of those reassuring smiles which said that everything's going to be okay. "I believe in you, Shinya... I believe in you... So do your best in fighting off the shadows in your mind... good luck. Soon you'll be on this side of the glass again, ne?"
"Die..." Shinya watched as the red-head walked away, followed by guards. He peeked back and smiled at Shinya. The drummer could feel a slight blush come over his cheeks, which he quickly shaked away.
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"Why have you come here?" Hayashi-san had dressed up and was talking to her son. "What do you have to say to me?" Her son glared at her angrily. They were sitting face to face, but Yoshiki's 'new father' was all over his mother. His two friends were sitting on a couch which sat in between the two chairs. "I wanted to ask you something," Yoshiki replied, getting very serious.
"Why... why did you hurt my cousin?" Yoshiki stammered out in a voice near whisper. "Why did you do that to Shinya twelve years ago?" Hayashi-san looked unimpressed. "Why did you hurt my precious cousin over something so stupid as your own stupidity, your own ignorance, your own imperfections?!?" Yoshiki's voice was slowly rising. "You're so stupid... to hurt a child over something as a single mistake in a recital!"
"It wasn't a single mistake Yoshiki!" She patted Yoshiki's 'new father' on the head. "Not only did he only make a single mistake in the piece, he ran off stage, therefore ruining his own reputation and mine as his teacher!"
"For that?!" Yoshiki pushed his 'new father' off the seat. "Disgusting! Because he's not perfect, as you are not perfect, you expected him to reach something which you haven't yet achieved. You're idiocity continues to amuse me. I can't believe I'm related to you!"
"Yoshiki!" Hayashi-san leaned forward and slapped her son on the face. He slipped backwards and nearly fell out from the chair, but hide saved him. "What do you think you're doing?" Toshi snapped. He stood and walked to the woman, slapping her just as hard. She collapsed into her lover's arms. "First you hurt your nephew in indecency, then you try to replace an important person in Yoshiki's life, namely his father, and finally you physically harm my Yoshiki?"
"Wha-what?" Hayashi-san was shocked and I would be too - after all, Toshi is normally such a calm person. "What are you talking about?" hide sat Yoshiki down on the chair properly and turned to Hayashi-san. "And then you get mad at him just because he curses you?"
"Are you all suddenly against me?" She asked, seemingly unfazed. She pet her new 'husband' on the head and continued, "All turned against me because of a stupid insect. Can't you see that you all are so much more than that child? He's nothing compared to you! You shouldn't care for such an insignificant being!"
Yoshiki walked forward and once again slapped his mother, "CAN I SAY THAT I'M NOT PROUD TO BE RELATED TO SUCH A HIDEOUS MONSTER AS YOU?! TO YOU HE MIGHT HAVE BEEN NOTHING, BUT HE WAS MY MOST PRECIOUS RELATIVE! He was the only one... who understood my feelings... and yet I could not understand his! I couldn't help him because of you!" Hayashi-san laughed harder, only to be received by a kiss. Her eyes widened quickly and focused on pink hair. hide pulled away from her, licking his lips gently.
"We better be leaving now. There's must be some other way besides violence to get past all this. The most you can do for your son now is sit back and leave him and us alone. We're sorry about this chaotic visit, but you can be assured you'll never see any of us in person ever again. The most you'll get is a cameo of us on television or something on a radio or in a magazine. We'll be leaving you now. We're very sorry for all the commotion we've caused and you should be sorry as well, though there's nothing we can ask of you to do to change what you've done. We can only ask that you keep out of contact with us and that you excuse your son once he's abandoned the name 'Hayashi' forever. Thank you for everything. Sayonara, Hayashi-san."
"hide..." Hayashi-san could think of nothing to say. She wasn't at all sorry about what she did to her nephew, but she was somewhat upset that her beautiful son would be leaving her... never seeing her again... abandoning her name... //To think, we could have had such beautiful children together, Yoshiki...// Her sick mind processed. Before she could say anymore and before Yoshiki could do any more damage, hide had yanked the vocalist and drummer out of the house.
"Thank you for everything, ma'am," hide said to the young and still shaken servant girl as she saw them out the front door.
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Shinya sat in his white room again, playing with the non-toxic paint set he was given. He sat splashing the red paint against the canvas he was given. "I still don't understand what his mind could be painting..." the doctors watched outside, keeping monitor. "Red... maybe blood?" They sighed. Meanwhile, Dir en Grey watched him, waiting and hoping for the day when she would feel better to come.
//Shinya...// Die watched as Shinya splattered the red paint along the white. //What are you thinking? What are those voices telling you? How can I help... how can I help...?//
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"Why did you do that, hide?" Yoshiki lay in bed, pulling hide close to him. "You've stained your lips for my sake, but why?" He placed his finger against the guitarist's lips and wiped them gently. "I don't understand, why couldn't you let me take revenge for Shinya against her?"
"There's nothing she can do to help Shinya," hide said. "Knowing why she did it to him wouldn't help us at all. Knowing the reason wouldn't help find a solution. What we have to find out is how to help, not how to hurt."
"You're so wonderful, hide," Yoshiki began to kiss the tender flesh on hide's neck, gradually going lower...
"Yoshiki..." Toshi's face contorted with disgust as he peeked in on the couple. //Why... I've been with you all this time... why do you choose hide, my sweet Yoshiki?//
To Be Continued
To the next part