Before I begin, I have to admit that I really wanted to love Uncle Sam because I'm a big fan of the film's director, William "Call me Bill" Lustig. I first watched this movie after I got a free Uncle Sam DVD at Mondo Movie Night 5. On that fateful night, I actually met director Bill Lustig in person before seeing two of his other films on the big screen, namely Maniac Cop and Maniac Cop 2. Once I got home the following day, I popped Uncle Sam into my DVD player, anxious to see what Bill (and writer Larry Cohen) had in store for me. Needless to say... I wasn't thrilled. I couldn't believe that a man whom I had respected so much, who's previous films seemed so phenomenal, had made such a terrible movie! I vowed to not watch it again until I was ready to review it, and then fate intervened in the form of the Fecal Film Festival Roundtable. In the name of justice, I would once again watch this movie in order to save the viewing public some money! (However if you do wish to buy it, please buy it through one of the Amazon or Movies Unlimited links at the top of the page.)

Uncle Sam begins in the deserts of Kuwait where the wreckage of a helicopter has been discovered. Two soldiers (one of which is played by William Smith) arrive on the scene and are promptly killed by a seemingly deceased soldier within the cockpit. The undead soldier turns out to be Master Sergeant Sam Harper, who's crispy corpse is soon shipped to his hometown of Twin Rivers. Sam's steel coffin is placed within the home of his widow, Louise Harper, who we later learn is actually glad that her hubby is deceased. Also in the house is Louise's twisted little son, Jody (portrayed by Christopher Ogden, easily one of the worst child actors of his time). Jody has an obsession with the military and constantly vows to join the Army once he's old enough, and the having his Uncle Sam's coffin sitting downstairs is like a natural high for this kid. And for some reason, Sam's sister Sally Baker is constantly at Louise's house, so often in fact that I actually thought she lived there!

For the first half hour or so, these three characters and numerous supporting characters get all of the screen time. And that's probably the movie's biggest fault: It spends more time introducing us to an entire town that we almost forget that we're watching a (for all intensive purposes) supernatural revenge tale. I'm sure that you're already wondering when Sam leaps out of his coffin and begins his patriotic killing spree. Well good ole Sam finally manages to bag his first victim about forty-two minutes into the movie! Sam Harper's first victim is a peeping-tom that's striding around on stilts and dressed in an Uncle Sam outfit. Sam cuts this guy down to size with a pair of hedge clippers and steals the voyeur's patriotic costume. (Egads, the irony! Jody's uncle Sam is now dressed as America's Uncle Sam!) Decked out in his newfound disguise, Sam makes his way to the town's graveyard where several teenage delinquents are partying, namely Jesse, Frank, and Clete.

After a night of spray painting the graves of war veterans and burning an American flag these guys decide to head home, but naturally they don't all leave together, which makes it easy for Uncle Sam to pick off Frank and Clete. Frank is knocked into an open grave (which was intended for Sam's burial) and buried alive. Clete ends up getting hung by his neck from a flagpole when he goes back to see if Frank is all right. Jesse, for the moment, has escaped death, but he'll get his comeuppance the following day at Twin Waters' Fourth of July celebration. Speaking of which, the town's festivities pretty much take up the remainder of the film and Sam easily gets away with a slew of murders during the Fourth of July jubilee. Mr. Crandall, a local teacher and conscientious objector during the Vietnam War years, gets a hatchet to the skull; Sally's boyfriend Ralph, a sleazy lawyer who brags openly about outwitting the IRS, is shot in the head with an air rifle; Jesse, whom escaped death earlier in the film, is beheaded with a meat cleaver for mocking the National Anthem.

Now this is a pretty impressive body count but sadly the deaths aren't all that grand. In fact, every murder in this film is fairly bloodless and usually happens off-screen. (Which really makes the film's R-rating seem moot.) During Uncle Sam's silent rampage, Bill Lustig gives humanity one of the most random and highly entertaining film sequences of all time: A potato sack race! But this isn't your average, ordinary fun-for-the-whole-family sack race... it's DEATH SACK RACE 2000! During the race, Jesse (who was lucky enough to leave the graveyard that his friends were killed in) tries to cheat his way to the finish line by taking out all the other sack racers. Small children and adults alike are shoved out of the way and some even get a swift kick to the stomach, courtesy of Jesse. But what goes around comes around my friends, because somehow Jesse manages to get lost during the race and ends up hopping through an orange grove where he runs into Sam. Jesse is then decapitated with a huge meat cleaver, and once again, the kill is heavily edited and rather bloodless. (This jerk's head is lopped off and there's no arterial spray from his bloody stump?! I demand satisfaction!)

In the meantime, Vietnam war vet Jed Crowley (Isaac Hayes rules!) is... well... making regular appearances on the screen. Sadly, Jed doesn't have much to do in this film, aside from trying to steer Jody clear of any future dreams of military service. But that all changes once he teams up with Jody and Barry, a blind, wheelchair-bound child. After a very much disliked congressman is turned into a giant party favor (Robert Forster in a small role), Jed and his two young companions rush to Jody's house to make sure Sam is in his rightful place. (Jed is skeptical that an undead Sam Harper is running around in an Uncle Sam outfit and murdering people and wants some visual proof.) Of course, when they arrive at Jody's house, they discover that Sam isn't in the coffin. Instead, the corpse of Sgt. Twining (Bo Hopkins!) is within the steel box. (On a side note, Sgt. Twining deserved everything he got. The man made a semi-career out of screwing the grieving widows of dead soldiers!) Just as Jed and the kids are leaving the house, a very worried and confused Louise Harper shows up. Jed tells the children to stay with her, but naturally the kids want to come along and do their part as red-blooded American brats.

They drive to Louise's house (I guess Sally and Louise are participating in a local "trading spaces" project?) and find a very shaken (and gun-toting) Sally. While the kids console Sally a bit, Jed investigates the kitchen and discovers an Uncle Sam mask. Suddenly, the rotting, walking, talking corpse of Sam Harper appears and bitch slaps Chef... ahm... I mean Jed, into the next room and through some shelving. Sally, still armed with a pistol, pumps every round into Sam but with no effect. To stop the possible carnage, Jody steps forward and distracts his uncle Sam. Jed and the others flee the house while Jody goes into full psycho mode. (The kid wants to be just like his patriotic uncle and isn't afraid to die to be just like Sam... or does he?) Meanwhile, Jed drives to the center of town and steals an authentic working cannon and speeds back to the house with it (which Jed fires earlier during the town's Fourth of July celebration. Can you say foreshadowing?) He returns to Louise's home and prepares to fire the cannon. (Sam has been through a helicopter crash, five years of harsh desert weather, and has just taken five bullets to the chest, so what good will a cannon do?)

Back inside, Jody talks Sam into walking outside with him saying, "I want everyone to see us together. I want to show them that I'm not afraid." Sam willingly strolls outside with Jody and doesn't seem to notice Jed standing out by the street with a readied cannon. Jody signals Jed to fire and runs off the porch just as Jed lights the wick on the cannon. Sam takes a cannonball to the chest and is thrown backwards into the house and engulfed by a huge explosion. Victory seems definite for Jed and the kids until Sam comes tromping out of the flames. Jed quickly readies the cannon once again and fires another shot that officially ends Sam's brief reign of terror. (Many people have commented that you can see a rope yanking Sam backwards and into the house before it explodes, but truthfully I couldn't see it.) As the movie ends, we see Jody outside in his backyard, burning all of his army toys in a trash can. I guess all it takes sometimes is a murderous zombie to set some kids straight.

Uncle Sam is a bad movie through and through and was a bit of a struggle for me to watch. The main problem with the film (and director William Lustig admits this in the director's commentary) is that it's pacing is so painfully slow. It's nice to see a film that's chock full of character development, but that's not what anyone really wants in a movie like this. The film would've played a lot better if Sam Harper was the actual focus of the story and had more screen time. The film mainly revolves around Jody's eccentric obsession with the military and patriotism, and the attempts of his peers to try and curb his lifelong dream. Another problem I had with this movie was the total lack of blood, guts, and gore. The movie is rated R, but the majority of the deaths occur off-screen. Those we do get to see are pretty uninspired and bloodless, and that really drags this movie down. The main reason people will want to rent (or buy) this movie is to see Uncle Sam, one of America's most notable patriotic and symbolic characters, hack and slash his way through scores of two-dimensional characters. Instead, we get a horror film that feels like it was made for the Lifetime channel.

Another problem with Uncle Sam is the casting of Christopher Ogden as Jody Baker. He just didn't (and possibly still doesn't) have the acting ability to pull off the role of a slightly disturbed prepubescent child and don't even get me started on how poorly he delivered most of his lines. So I think I've made my point that this movie is bad, but let me tell you why I didn't give it my lowest rating. Despite the strikes against this movie, I did have some fun watching it (especially with the audio commentary on). The infamous potato sack race sequence alone is reason enough to pop this movie back into my DVD player, and the screen presence of multiple cult movie icons (including Isaac Hayes, P.J. Soles, William Smith, Robert Forster, et al.) helps make things more bearable. Currently, Uncle Sam is available on a great DVD from Blue Undeground. The film is featured in it's original widescreen format with Dolby 5.1 Surround Sound, and the disc itself has a good number of extras, including: Two audio commentaries, poster and still galleries, the film's theatrical trailer, and a fire stunt featurette that comes complete with an audio commentary by stunt coordinator Spiro Razatos. So if you're looking for a good supernatural revenge tale, you may want to pass on watching this movie and check out William Lustig's Maniac Cop films instead. But if you're feeling brave, then by all means watch Uncle Sam. Just don't come crying to me if you don't like it!