"Science transformed him into a monster. Love changed him even more!"	Year of Release: 1982 Directed by: Wes Craven Running Time: Approx. 93 minutes Rating: PG (?!) Listing on the A.K.A. Page: Nope! A Second Opinion: The B-Hive Buy it on DVD at: Amazon.com. My Rating:

Dr. Alec Holland- A scientific genuis who has developed a serum that may end world hunger! Ends up being doused in said (explosive) serum and becomes a human fireball. He dives into the swamp to douse the flames, only to become...

Swamp Thing- Dick Durock! Half Man, half Plant, all powerful. He takes on and defeats Anton Arcane and his army of mercenaries. He also has the power to heal fatal wounds and bring the dead back to the world of the living.

Dr. Anton Arcane- Louis Jourdan! Evil scientist who steals Alec's formula in hopes of making himself just as powerful as Swamp Thing. He takes the serum and turns into a "pig-monster." Beaten up and sliced with a sword by Swamp Thing.

Alice Cable- Adrienne Barbeau! A government agent sent to protect Holland at his bayou retreat. She falls in love with him, despite the fact he's a plant now. She's chased by Arcane's goons for most of the movie, is killed by the pig monster, revived by Swamp Thing, and she also makes friends with....

Jude- A younger version of Bubba from "Forrest Gump." When he talks it sounds like someone is holding his nose closed. He's killed by Arcane's henchmen but (unfortunately) is resurrected by Swamp Thing.

Bruno- One of Arcane's top soldiers. Arcane gives him the serum turning poor Bruno into a pygmy monster/toad/pig/thing. Helps Cable and Swamp Thing escape from Arcane's mansion.

Ferret- Don't know why they call him this...maybe it's the hair? Cuts off one of Swamp Thing's arms, then gets crushed to death.

Arcane's Mercenaries- Swamp Thing Fodder!

As I will point out to you later on in the "Thing's to Watch For" section, this movie, despite a PG rating, has plenty of brief (and welcome) nudity. The film starts out with Alice Cable on a chopper (a helicopter to the late person), on her way to a swamp. She's replacing some other government agent that had recently made friends with an alligator. Her mission: protect Dr. Alec Holland. Well then we get to meet good old Alec. He's a fairly good looking bachelor, with one hell of a sense of humor. Along with his sister, he's creating a serum that will end world hunger indefinately! Meanwhile in the deep swamps, a government agent is doing a perimeter check (or something like that) and is assailed by a group of men in army fatigues. The agent is then forced to kiss a snake, or rather it's forced to kiss him... with it's deadly fangs!!!
Back in Holland's lab, Alec hits on Cable a lot and finalizes the serum. So the two of them decide to go check a broken sensor, and find that it was sabotaged. They quickly return to base go back inside. As night falls the milita men seen earlier invade the base and kill almost everyone. The leading government agent, John Ritter, turns out to the disguised Dr. Arcane. Arcane shoots Alec's sister and turns Alec into a walking fireball. Instinctively, Alec runs outside and leaps into the bayou, exploding on impact. Well Arcane and his mercenaries let the base burn to the ground and throw all the bodies into the swamp. Cable is hiding and discovers Alec's 7TH NOTEBOOK (very crucial element in this story). Suddenly she's caught by Ferret. He and another mercenary drag her into a boat and then try to drown her.
Suddenly, a green mossy hand pops up and throws Ferret into the water. Then the boat is flipped over by the creature. Cable is saved by (what we know is Holland) the creature and hidden (but not very well... I mean come on, a branch does not provide much cover!). The green man/beast (which I shall address from now on as Swamp Thing) then takes out three of the mercenaries which cause Ferret and Bruno to panic and run away. Through the rest of the film, Arcane attempts to get the aforementioned 7TH NOTEBOOK to complete the "Holland Formula" and chases Cable all over the swamp. Each time she's in danger, Swamp Thing shows up, kicks some arse, and foils Arcane's attempts again! At this point the pointless character named Jude is introduced, he helps Cable out a bit, gets killed, and then is resurrected by Swamp Thing.
Cable gets captured again, but the spunky agent escapes. Ferret chases after her with a machete which he uses to prune one of Swamp Thing's arms. In response, Swamp Thing crushes the life out of Ferret. Afterwards, Alec and Cable chat for a bit, then she goes to bathe in the nude for all of our watchful eyes to see. As she's giving the viewers something to stare at, Swamp Thing goes for a stroll and tosses away the 7TH NOTEBOOK! Then he and Cable are captured (a little too easily for my taste) and Arcane has gotten the 7TH NOTEBOOK! Not much else occurs from this point on. The formula's tested on Bruno, who then turns into a pig/toad/midget/thing. Then Arcane tries the serum on himself, just as Swamp Thing grows a new arm and escapes with Cable.
Arcane turns into a stupid looking pig monster (very BOAR-ing creature creation), symbolizing Arcane's pigheaded-ness. Bruno helps our heroes escape into the swamp, with Arcane (the Pig Monster) in hot pursuit. All three (Arcane, Swampy, and Cable) arrive in the swamp via an underwater spring and a battle ensues between the two powerful creatures. Swamp Thing knocks his opponent out and goes over to Cable. But you can't keep an evil genetic Pig-Man down. Arcane gets back up and grabs his sword and stabs Cable in the heart, thus killing her and sending Swamp Thing into a rage. Once again, Arcane is beaten senseless. Swamp Thing then revives Cable, who warns him to turn around. Arcane just won't give up, so Swamp Thing obliges in killing the damned Pig Monster once and for all. Before returning to the bog, Swamp Thing tells Cable to go back to Washington and "tell their story."

Bruno: "Where is he?"
Ferret: "Ha... what is he?"

Jude: "Oh shit, there goes the neighborhood."

Cable: "Alec... I'm sorry. It must..."
Swamp Thing: "Hurt?"
Cable: "Does it?"
Swamp Thing: "Only when I laugh." (Starts to laugh.)

Swamp Thing: "Much beauty in the swamp, if you only look."