Renzo Capeto - The leader on a boat of Cuban soldiers and fellow criminals. He and the others stole the Cuban treasury (which consists of one chest of gold bullion) and fled during Castro's revolution. Due to his lack of stamina, he becomes the Seaweed Monster's final victim.

Roger Corman has had an extremely long and prosperous career as in the b-film industry. Ever since 1954 (the year Monster from the Ocean Floor was released), Corman has been cranking out dozens of b-movies, and has paved the way for many actors and directors, including the likes of Jack Nicholson (who starred in Little Shop of Horrors and The Terror) and Ron Howard (star of Eat My Dust and Grand Theft Auto)! And it still seems as if old age hasn't caught up to Roger yet, as he is still quite active in low budget filmmaking. Now, having paid my sincere respect to the b-movie king, let's take a look at Creature From the Haunted Sea which was Roger's thirty-second time in the director's chair.

As the movie opens, we see a man getting his sneakers shoeshined. Wait huh?! As the shoeshiner finishes up, he slides a note into his customer's sock. The customer pays, then gets up and walks away just as the shoeshine guy is shot by two ee-vil looking fellows. This starts a short chase sequence in which the shoeshine customer evades his pursuers. He ducks into a dark alley and dons a fake mustache and sunglasses (yeah, nobody should notice you with that stuff on!), but not before he reads the aforementioned note and swallows it. He makes his way to a bar (the Santo Domingo bar to be exact) and has a rendevous with Agent XK-120. Through their expository dialogue we learn that this guy is Agent XK-150 (a.k.a. Sparks Moran). His mission: to recover (?!) the stolen Cuban treasury. Why and how is it stolen? Well Fidel Castro has taken over Cuba, and it seems that some soldiers that supported the old regime have taken the entire Cuban treasury as a parting gift.

With his mission in mind, Sparks Moran leaves the bar and... roll the animated credits?! Yep that's right! We get some animated credits with some stereotypical Cubans and a silly animated monster. On top of that, the main musical theme from Little Shop of Horrors plays in the background. After the credits end, we're introduced to Renzo Capeto and his gang, as well as Colonel Tostado. They all meet up and make off with one large, steel, strongbox of gold bullion. They then proceed to leave Cuba on boat the next morning and that's when the boredom sets in. Sparks Moran narrates everything during the movie and gives us plenty of expository feedback on our cast of kooky characters. After Sparks' tells us all about his fellow shipmates (did I neglect to mention that Sparks has joined Renzo's gang under the supposition that he's a notorious gun runner? Yeah, I thought I did, but then again, it's just more expository information.) we soon discover that Renzo and company have some plans of their own.

Renzo plans on carefully and systematically killing the Cuban shipmates one by one and blaming their deaths on a sea monster. To pull this little charade off, he has "Happy" Jack and Pete Peterson murder a soldier in his sleep with the aid of a plunger and some deadly, razor sharp, rakes. (Seriously! I cannot possibly make this stuff up.) While Jack does the slashing, Pete takes care of the monster's roar (since he can do a number of animal calls, roars, etc.). The whole plan goes off without a hitch, except for one thing. As those two carried out their devious little plan, a second Cuban was killed by the real monster! We only get to see the creature for a split second, but it's enough to make you giggle uncontrollably. Once morning comes and the bodies are found, Renzo suggests that they change the boat's course as to avoid another attack from the "sea monster." This suggestion is followed, however the next several days aren't full of smooth sailing. Remember those two ee-vil looking fellows I mentioned much earlier? They pull alongside Renzo's boat and come aboard.

These guys are apparently working for Castro's new regime and demand to search Renzo's boat for the stolen Cuban treasury. I also must add that, to look inconspicuous, everyone lounges about while Mary sings some god awful tune. Sparks Moran decides to stick with Renzo in this situation (why didn�t the gunmen recognize him?). He plans to hit the lead Cuban baddie with a large, freshly caught fish; instead he hits Renzo with said fish (It's comedy!). This proves to be enough of a distraction for Pete to pump the two Cubans full of lead. With that problem settled, our boat of misfits continues onward to La Isla del Borrocho, a small island off the coast of Puerto Rico that is surrounded by a reef. Renzo plans on stranding the boat on the reef and pulling a stunt that should make the strongbox of gold inaccessible to the Cuban soldiers.

They eventually arrive at Renzo's intended destination and he quickly enacts his plan. He dashes the boat on the reef and during the panic he has Pete and Happy Jack load the gold onto a skiff. As they row toward shore Renzo stands up and gives a salute. That's everyone's cue to flip the rowboat and send the gold to the bottom of the lagoon. Once everyone's on the beach, save for one Cuban soldier who was pulled underwater by the seaweed monster during the confusion), Renzo sends Pete to scout the island for any inhabitants and sends Happy Jack to San Juan to rent a fishing boat and some diving gear. In the meantime, Sparks saunters off and finds a... telephone? Yes he finds a telephone and calls up the Santo Domingo bar in Cuba to chat with Agent XK-120. Sparks soon ends the conversation because some random guy comes by to use the phone. As he heads back to the beach where Renzo and the others are, Sparks passes a dapper fellow who enjoys stomping in puddles of water; completely soaking his shoes and pants. This movie just keeps getting stranger by the second doesn't it?


Now we go back to Pete, who's wandering through the jungle and making animal sounds. He soon hears some animalistic retorts and discovers that the source is Marita. They instantly fall for one another (imagine how hideous their offspring would be... I shudder to think about it.). By this time, Happy Jack has returned with the scuba gear and has brought along Carmalita, a "sorority girl" who wanted to come along for the trip (and I put sorority girl in quotes because this woman is at least 35 - 40 years old!). Not it's time for Renzo to complete his plan by diving for the gold and hiding it safely within the reef. But wouldn't you know it, those crazy Cubans are frogmen! (Slaps forehead!) But Renzo is a sly one and decides that the sea monster he fabricated will be making a return (and yes, nobody has any clue whatsoever that the real monster even exists). Later, they all scuba dive for gold and split up to find the gold. Two Cubans are given the sea monster victim treatment and Renzo and his goons are still absolved from any accusations.

Afterwards, Carmalita leaves Happy Jack because he's a whiner, and she immediately clings to Sparks (who by the way has been trying to get into Mary Monahan's pants from day one.). To cheer him up, Marita takes Jack to meet Mango, her beautiful daughter. Mango has no real interest in Jack and is only being nice to him so that he might buy some of Marita's "coconut hats and sandals." (Hard to believe that a mother could pimp her daughter like that.) Pete and Marita come by to visit with the new couple and they all decide to go swimming (after making a pact to wipe out everyone and keep the gold for themselves. Ha! As if the retard and wuss could take on ever-so-sly Renzo!) As those for go for a dip, Renzo and the Cubans go diving again. Renzo finds the strongbox of gold and hides it... as the seaweed monster watches!!! Said sea beastie then swims up near the water's surface and drags poor Mango down into the water, to her doom!

The attack is blamed on Renzo but for once he's innocent and it seems that everyone is going to turn on him. The next day, they all go diving for the gold yet again and Renzo and his goons kill General Tostado. Pete and Renzo go back up to the boat, but Happy Jack finds Mango's bathing suit (sadly it's all that remains of her). Then he gazes around and sees the seaweed monster! Jack tries to avenge the death of Mango and fires a spear into the creature's chest. Instead of trying to escape afterwards, Jack blindly swims into it and gets hugged to death. Back on the ship, things have started to fall apart and everyone is at each other's throat. But nothing ever comes of this mistrust and unease between all the boat's passengers. Hours later, everyone's calmed down and seems to be in good spirits. But that pesky seaweed monster has other plans (time for dinner!). Sparks and Carmalita see the approaching creature and take off on a rowboat (it's a pretty funny scene too because the monster is bobbing up and down in the water like a giant turd. Duane of B-Movie Central attests to that in his review.)

Then suddenly the creature strikes and invades the stranded boat. At this point I had lost all control of myself and had a good laugh. The creature flails about; choking and hugging the remainder of the cast to death. And no one puts up a decent fight either. Sure Mary was caught off guard, but the armed Cuban soldiers proved to be an even lesser threat than she was. The hilarity in these final moments is simply spectacular! Moving on then, Renzo has taken off in the second rowboat and poor Marita jumps overboard as the late Pete Peterson is killed by the seaweed monster (and by killed I mean he gets a deadly shoulder massage!). Sparks and Carmalita make it to shore first, then Renzo, and finally the whalelike Marita brings up the rear. However, our first and third place winners are smart enough to get off the beach.

Renzo decides to take a breather (Probably because he's a heavy smoker. Come to think of it, this scene would've made a great commercial against cigarettes. SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Smoking will make it harder for you to escape from man-eating seaweed monsters!) and looks on in "horror" as the actor in the bulky seaweed monster suit stumbles towards him! The movie should've just ended there, but we get one more scene with the Carmalita and Sparks Moran. After their exchange of inane dialogue we get one last look at the monster. It's sitting on the ocean floor and scratching it's face with a small hand rake (said hand rake was used by Jack and Pete in their Cuban killing antics). The now satisfied kelp creature lets out a sudden burp, and the movie officially ends!

I originally reviewed Creature From the Haunted Sea on December 10, 2001 and didn't really care for it, despite the goofiest looking creature to ever grace the screen. But in a recent viewing, I paid more attention and found it to be a pretty humorous film. Most of said humor can be found if you actually pay heed to what the actors and actresses are saying. As far as performances go, most of the cast does a good job with their roles; clearly everyone is having a good time. But nobody really shines out from the rest of the crowd (save for Beach Dickerson who played Pete Peterson. He pulls off his role as a complete moron beautifully!).

Despite the plethora of silly dialogue, an original, if somewhat convoluted plot, and an extremely cheesy looking monster, this movie did cause some boredom! This was due to a lot of padding, which slows the movie down a lot (and naturally adds to the running time of the feature.). Creature also suffers from the introduction of too many pointless characters. If you left out the Perez family (who would definitely be a hit on Jerry Springer in this day and age. "Mother's who cheat on their Husbands and Whore Their Daughters off to Island Tourists!") and Carmalita, the movie would've been much better. Personally I had a lot of fun watching this flick and I would suggest it to any b-movie fan (especially if you look upon Roger Corman as a modern deity!), but keep some coffee or other heavily caffeinated drink nearby as a safety measure.