"Reality Bites!"	Year of Release: 2000 Directed by: Tobe Hooper Running Time: Approx. 94 minutes Rating: R Listing on the A.K.A. Page: YES! Click Here! A Second Opinion: The Unknown Movies Buy it on DVD at: Amazon.com or Movies Unlimited.com. My Rating:

Brady- A miniature, elfish, Ben Stiller look alike. He cheated on his girlfriend Claire with Sunny, and tries to work things out with her, even when a huge crocodile is hunting them. At the movie's end he tries to take matters into his own hands but fails to save the day.

Duncan- Brady's completely and utterly immature friend who constantly sprays himself with insect repellant. He gets tossed up in the air and swallowed whole by the crocodile, then gets regurgitated, since he was doused in ..... "Bug-B-Gone, never leave home without it!"

Princess- A cute little pooch and the best actor in the movie (next to the fake looking crocodile of course). The damn dog always manages to escape certain death while everyone else gets chomped.

Claire- Brady's (very cute) girlfriend. She ends up saving the day in the end. All she did was have a screaming contest with the croc, and then give back it's stolen egg.

Sunny- After completely ruining Brady and Claire's relationship, I think she got what she deserved when that big ole croc ate her.

The Other Spring Break Party Animals- Each one serves their purpose to a point and then gets chomped.

The Sheriff- Local law enforcer that's hot on the trail of the Crocodile. While trying to fix the motor on his boat, he get's munched.

Shirkin and Lester- Shirkin goes after the croc to avenge his "pappy's and his grand-pappy's" deaths. Ends up getting eaten. Lester tries to negotiate with the crocodile while feeding it chickens. Not smart pal! He also gets eaten.

The Crocodile- A huge (fake-looking) Nile Crocodile that haunts the waters around an abandoned hotel. Some say that it's the legendary "Flat Dog." In any case, she gets ticked off when her eggs are broken and/or stolen, which causes her to go on a rampage of vengeance.

Upon seeing Tobe Hooper's name tagged to the film, I figured that it couldn't possibly be as bad as I heard it was. Boy was I wrong! Any movie that can put me to sleep while I review it has to be awful. As the movie opens, Brady, Duncan, and the others are are heading on their way to a lake for spring break. When they all arrive they go for a spin on a houseboat and dock in a shallow cove. The first evening they are there, they all get drunk and sit around a fire. Just beyond their camp site two fishermen discover a nest with huge eggs. The two hicks smash most of the eggs and get chomped by the crocodile who laid them. Here we are treated to one of the few scenes that will make you jump.
Well the next day, Duncan and the others are playing Nerf football in the water and find the croc's nest. One of the spring breakers takes an egg back to the boat and hides it in Claire's backpack. How she never finds a large crocodile egg in her back pack throughout the whole movie is beyond me. Anyways, as night falls they are all piss drunk and they make their way back to the boat. The teenager who hid the egg in Claire's bag, stumbles to the boat. When he tries to pull it in the Croc comes up fast and snatches him off the dock. But at the same time, the croc bites through a rope and the houseboat floats off. The next morning everyone awakens to find that they are stuck in ... God only knows where.
At this point, Claire knows that Brady and Sunny had a little one night stand. After she blows him off, he goes for a stroll and guess who follows him? That's right, his little ray of Sun-shine! Hehehehe. She tries to coerce Brady to go skinny dipping but is stopped when the croc pops up out of the water. So they race (the Croc) back to the boat. The crocodile then proceeds to rip the boat apart, while being hit with an axe many times. The boat soon sinks and the cast thins out a bit. The survivors then walk through the marshes and forest in a tight group, waiting for the croc to strike at any moment.
Meanwhile the sheriff and Shirkin go after the croc. When they leave, Lester strolls off with some dead chickens in a wheelbarrow and tries to negotiate with "Flat Dog." Lester wants the croc to eat Shirkin so that he can have the Alligator Farm (that's right, Shirkin runs an alligator farm). Anyways, the croc thins the cast out even more. The Sheriff and Shirkin come to save the day but both get chomped. So all that remain are Duncan, Claire, and Brady. Brady decides that they have to face the Croc before it kills them all, so he makes some wooden spears with a Swiss Army Knife. I don't know why he does this since an axe and a shotgun are useless against the damn crocodile.
After a while of waiting, the Croc appears and they attack it. Duncan gets flung high in the air, and then is swallowed whole in one big gulp. Brady is knocked backwards into some brush and is seemingly about to die when Claire suddenly saves the day. She holds out the egg to the mother Croc, who then suddenly heaves up Duncan. As Claire and the Croc (it sounds like a children't book, hehehehe) have a screaming contest, Brady gives some type of CPR to Duncan. The egg Claire is holding hatches, and the croc takes it's newborn child gently in it's mouth and strolls away. Duncan then comes to, and the three all exchange glances as the extremely fake, CGI animated croc swims away. What a crappy ending!

Duncan: "I'm telling ya man. Pizza...it's the only way to go, hands down. It's like sex. It's that simple."
Brady: "Oh explain it, please enlighten me."
Duncan: "Well when it's good ... it's great right?"
Brady: "Yeah."
Duncan: "And when it's bad ... it's still pretty damn good."

Duncan: "Reckless life is the only life worth livin' my friend."

Guy: "Awww shit man ... it's a f*@kin' dinosaur!"

Duncan: "Skeeter-B-Gone ... never leave home without it. 100% indigestible."