"The Game Wants To Play With You."	Arcade (1993) Directed by: Albert Pyun Approx. Running Time: 81 minutes Rating: Rated R Listing on the A.K.A. Page: N/A A Second Opinion: Cold Fusion Video Buy it on VHS at: Amazon.com My Rating:

Alex- Megan Ward! Greg's pretty girlfriend who's mother committed suicide a while back. Though that may seem trivial to the movie's plot, it actually figures in later on. Though she sucks at video games, she beats the hardest and most dangerous game ever developed to save her friends (?!).

Nick- Peter Billingsley! (Couldn't stop thinking about A Christmas Story while watching this movie!) He helps Alex save all of her friends (or at least he tries to. The bastard is pulled out of Arcade at the beginning of level two!). He has feelings for Alex but nothing comes of that plot point.

Greg- Alex's boyfriend. He's in the movie for approximately five minutes.

Laurie- Arcade steals her soul. Luckily saved from an eternity of playing video games by Alex.

Stilts- Seth Green! Spouts stupid dialogue for the ten minutes he stars in.

Dilford- Creator, marketer, and distributor of Arcade. He's in the movie merely to spread the influence of the evil game.

Albert- Arcade's programmer. He reveals all the maps and secrets of Arcade to Nick and Alex. He shows up later on to pull Nick out of Arcade's virtual world, thus saving said teen from certain death.

Alex's other friends- Bit part actors who lose their souls to ...

Arcade- Not just the name of the movie, nor the setting of the film's beginning. Arcade is a computer game that gets smarter and changes the game rules by itself. Apparently a few hundred thousand brain cells from a young boy were used to create the soul-snatching A.I. being. In the end, it appears that he was killed by Alex, but it turns out that he has entered reality in the form of a small child!

Seeing that this movie is made by Full Moon Entertainment, I wasn't expecting much. The fact that the original concept of this film came from B-Movie Producer Charles Band didn't raise my hopes either. The movie starts out with Alex chatting with a (high?) school counselor (psychologist?) about her mother's suicide. After the short discussion, Alex goes outside and meets all of her friends. They all decide to meet later that evening at Dante's Inferno, an arcade where all the local scrubs and street urchins waste their time, brain cells, and quarters. They all do in fact meet at Dante's, and soon get to test out "Arcade." Up to this point the movie was doing fairly well, that is until Ralphi...I mean Nick tests out the new virtual reality game.
The virtual world he's in bites! It's an endless maze full of spikes protruding from walls and a huge toothy skull patrols the area. Nick plays for a minute longer and dies. Seeing how the video game master himself has lost, Greg hops in and starts playing the game. At that exact moment, Dilford ushers the other teens into another room and gives them home versions of Arcade. Soon Alex realizes that Greg is suddenly missing and doesn't learn the "horrible" truth until she goes home and begins playing her new Arcade game. Arcade taunts her, telling her that Greg is inside the game. Alex is all freaked out and goes over to Nick for some help. Now this is where a new romance will start blooming right? Read on to find out!
Soon Alex and Nick discover that all their friends are now trapped within Arcade. They then go to Dilford to get some answers. To get into Dilford's office, Nick fabricates a tale, saying that Arcade is hurting people. Moments later he lies and says that he just wants some tips and tricks to beat Arcade. (WHAT THE HELL?!) Dilford then takes the two of them to see Albert, Arcade's programmer. He gives them maps of all the levels and tips on how to beat the game. With their newfound knowledge, Nick and Alex break into Dante's Inferno and begin playing Arcade. They make it to level two, but Nick is yanked out of the game by Albert. How Albert knew where they were is never explained (maybe he's just very intuitive?), but his timing couldn't have been better.
Alex is left inside to fend for herself, but somehow she manages to make it all the way to the end of the game and win. How this happens is beyond me since she supposedly sucks at video games! So in the end, everyone's souls are released (but what if Arcade was released too?!) and they all return home. Remember that supposed relationship that was developing between Nick and Alex? Forget about it completely! Alex remains faithful and true to Greg after she saves him. In the movie's closing moments, Alex stands at her front door, her loud internal monologue yelling, "Damn it where are you!" Suddenly she spins around to see a young child who then says (in Arcade's voice no less) "Right here bitch!" Wow! Not only is this movie exremely bland but it's set up for a sequel?! Here's hoping that a sequel is never made.

Nick: "Ok so let me ask you something. If I die, is it a virtual death, or a real death? Like, do I go to virtual heaven? And do my parents collect virtual insurance papers?"

Alex: "Damn it where are you!"
Arcade: "Right here bitch!"

Arcade: "Kiss reality good-bye!"