IF YOUR LOOKING TO HAVE A CUTE KID, YOU'VE COME TO THE RIGHT PLACE!
The doors are open to the 1st stud farm for humans. Now you may ask yourself, who would go to a stud farm? Aren't those illegal? Is this a joke? Well that's not important. But what is important is the reasons people come here. And to help you decide, we compiled a short list of why some people do, and why you should, come on down to JR's STUD FARM:
You wish to weed out certain traits or aspects you don't want to pass down to your offspring
Your significant other isn't 'ready' to have one yet
Your aesthetically displeasing and no one else wants to help you
You want to 'squeeze' out one more out to get more back when it comes to tax time
You want to get back at your parents
The list goes on and on. We each have our own reasons, but here at JR's STUD FARM, we don't care. And we don't ask questions. Using ancient 99% guaranteed methods, you have almost nothing to lose. We make the process as smooth and simple as possible for YOU. And if your not comfortable, we'll try another position.
If you wish to know more about the fertilization process, please use the button at the bottom of the page.
I have a 100% success rate, 100% satisfaction ratio, and still going. Here is just one of my references:
Just look at him and tell me you don't one just as cute.
But don't take my word for it, here are some testimonials:
'Wow, he said I'd have a kid in about 9 months, and wouldn't you know it, he was right!' -K. Rufer
'I'd go back and do it again, and again, and again just for the experience.' -Ms.Avigon
'None of my other kids were nearly as cute as the one I got from JR's Stud Farm. I sold my previous ones, and now I'm saving up to go back and get them replaced with cuter versions.' -K. Rogue
'I never saw my wife have so much fun.' -Mr. Jinx
Now you may ask, 'How much does this all this mubo-jumbo cost?' and the answer is, NOT MUCH AT ALL! All we ask is for a tip at the end of the procedure and maybe a few compliments.
*NOTE*: JR's Stud Farm is not responsible if the technician attempts to snuggle afterwards due to force of habit.
How many times do you get to have kids? And do you want to be stuck with an ugly one?
NO! No one wants to. And we help take out as much risk as possible by applying the theory, 'We did it before.....'
Lonely and need something more than a pet?
Then a baby is what you need. They last 7 times longer than most pets and they're easier to teach tricks to.
Afraid of what people might say? Don't be. Lie and say it was your husband's/boyfriend's.
So what are you waiting for? Act now and receive a coupon towards a free small cone (vanilla) from Dairy Queen after the fertilization process.
WARNING: JR's STUD FARM is not responsible for child support payments, alimony, or 'acts of god'. The phone number will change after the fertilization process and you will not receive a follow up call. Do not attempt to make contact afterwards. We only specialize in the fertilization process and want nothing more to do with you after that unless you would like to attempt again.
In the event you have a girl, we do apologize. We are very very very sorry.
We do offer an exchange program where you can return the girl, and we will offer another attempt at no charge.
Warning: this is just a joke page dedicated to my son Max who I am very proud of wanted to show off to the world. No actual stud farm exists. But my kid is cuter than yours, if you have one. Void where prohibited. Thousands may enter, few will win. Actual chances of wining are 0:100,000,000 Nah nah nah nah nah Kristin.
