Abstract:  A Dark Visitor informs Joe about the spiritual 
reality of the Holy Grail of Christ, from which he drank at 
His Last Supper


We find joe in a room deeply preoccupied while polishing 
religious artifacts.  

                          Dracula:
Hello.

                            Joe:
Jesus! you scared me!
How did you get in here anyway?

                          Dracula:
Sorry...
Your activities were of some interest to me..
What are you doing?

                            Joe:

Hey!  I thought you could only come out at night after the 
sun went down?

                          Dracula:

Is that crap still going around?  
Mankind can't get anything straight.  
Such morsels.  It is the darkness that surrounds the
victims soul when i 'come out'.  Not the darkness that 
surrounds mine.  

I go where i want to, when i want to day or night.  
It is only when the soul covers itself up with night
that I...  sigh... never mind.

                            Joe:

Well... all the movies and T.V....

                          Dracula:

You probably should ignore that 'truth' on T.V. and 
'Literature' - and i use the term loosely.  Most of those 
people are in the land of darknes or with me now, long 
turned to stone.  But again, what is it you are doing?

                            Joe:

I was polishing my golden chalice, the one i was going to 
use at my last supper.

                          Dracula:
                    (burst out laughing)
Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-ha-ha

oooooo...
                         (incredulously)
YOUR last supper?

                       (Sarcastically)
Is that then going to be your holy grail?

                            Joe:
                       (tentatively)

Well, yes..  i think.  Isn't that what we are supposed to 
do?

I know the original one was supposed to have 'miraculous' 
powers but that one was supposed to have been found and 
hidden or something by Knights of some sort...


                          Dracula:

Jesus Christ!

er... pardon me for speaking that name.

what imbeciles...

a golden grail...

the cup of Christ...

What do you have for brains?

Knights...found and hid the grail?

they were such a smelly lot.

When they arrive, I make them shower under their horses 
tails.

They found nothing.  They hid nothing.  They understood 
nothing.

The Grail is nothing you find.

It is something you do!  Your Twinky Holiness.

have you ever heard of the Pascal Lamb?


                            Joe:

Well, yes... but...

                          Dracula:

If you hid and buried a dead lamb would you expect it to 
have miraculous powers?


                            Joe:
well, no...

                          Dracula:
What would you have?

                            Joe:
i don't know...

                          Dracula:

Let me give you a hint.  It would be dead, decayed and foul 
smelling.

A real spiritual experience, right?


                            Joe:
well...

                          Dracula:

I see that your golden chalice has some bright shiny stones 
imbedded in it?   Do you know what those signify?

                            Joe:

er... no.
                          Dracula:

            (with an air of disdained finality)

I thought not..

                            Joe:

Well... that's the way it was when i bought it.
but... well, there was one missing but i replaced it.

                          Dracula:

Correctly, I presume?

                         (questioningly)

You think you can buy the Holy Grail!?

                            Joe:

Well, no, not actually, but this is my grail anyhow...
it was on sale so since it was a good deal, i bought it.
The saleman at the store said that it was supposed to be an 
exact replica.

                          Dracula:

Well, that is more like it...  your grail.  a golden one.  
with jewels yet.  

                       (In false wonder)
Does it do magic tricks too?

                            Joe:

no.  well... i don't know.  i don't think so.

                          Dracula:

So, you want to have a last supper do you?

                            Joe:

Well, yes... sort of... Isn't that what Christ did.
Aren't we supposed to do what Christ did?

                          Dracula:
                         (laughing)

somewhat.

                            Joe:

Were you there?

                          Dracula:

close.

                            Joe:

Well, what kind of cup did Christ have at his last supper 
then?

                          Dracula:

You mean, what kind of cup was His blood contained in?

                            Joe:

Blood?  He was drinking His own blood! ?

                          Dracula:

Christ!  what an imbecile!

Look Twinky, forget what was in the cup.

You are not up to the job.

But you and the millions of others who are searching for the 
Holy Grail need to know that it wasn't made of Gold with 
semi-precious and precious jewels in it.



                 The Accuser lets loose

It was a cup of Humility.
in you, humility appears noticably absent.

It was cup of service.
You have offered service to no one.

It was a cup of truth.
You appear to be the acme of falsehood.
However, that is a nice thing for my candidates.

It was a cup of duty.
Duty to whom?  Whom, and when, have you served?

it was, a small somewhat tiny wooden cup that most all of 
the very poor carried with them near their breast, from 
which they drank.  And, from which they ate.  The Tibetians 
have a name for such a cup.  You might inquire as to its 
name and use.

It was a cup that was offered up for them.
Your cup is offered up for yourself.

It was a cup to put them on the right path.
Your cup is a cup for your path, and not the path of your
God.  Nor, even the path of my god.  Nor even to me!

It was a cup to put them on the path of pure righteousness.
You have never known righteousness

It was not a cup of celebration.
Your's is.

It was a cup of sorrows.
Your's is not.

Is that unleavened enough for you?

Why do you think the apostles fled so well and so fast.
They knew well the horrors of an awaiting Calvary.

They lifted up their dresses and got the hell out of there
as fast as their little hooves could carry them.  

It was a cup of...
Well... look... this is getting a little above your head.

The grail wasn't a golden grail.
Yours is.

It was a very humble little wooden one.
Yours isn't.

We think it was made for Him originally by his father, whom, 
as you know, was a humble carpenter himself.

Yours was purchased from your sin-free gold sellers.

His grail was not this golden piece of crap that i see you 
polishing.

What you are polishing is a cup of death.

And I encourage you to drink from it.

It suits you.

Slurp down your vileness
from your golden chalice
oh Twinky Lord.

By the fallen saints... 
Oh...
I can't stand it anymore.
I have to get out of here.
Keep polishing Twinky.
I'll be back...




And with that he once again vanished.

My favorite golden drinking instrument sits now still in a 
corner of the room, half polished, but dusty, as my search 
now has turned to looking for a nice wooden cup to buy.  

I wonder if that will do the job?  Maybe i can get one from 
the same place that sold me the gold chalice...

Maybe he will come back.  He said he would return...

What was the name of that cup again?

Why was he so grumpy anyway...?