Title: Milestones
Author: Joolz
Feedback: If you like J [email protected]
Rating: PG
Pairing: Jack/Daniel
Category: Slash, ER, Challenge,
Drama/Angst, H/C
Synopsis: This birthday is
special.
Challenge: Birthday boy? Or birthday blues?
Warnings: None (hanky
recommended)
Disclaimer: Not my lovely
characters, just playing with them.
Milestones
By Joolz
Jack stood watching his lover from a distance. Daniel was seated cross legged on the gentle slope of the sandy
beach, looking out over the ocean. Two moons
lit the sky, one white, one red, leaving bright splashes of color painted over
the dark rippling water. Daniel had
been sitting like that for a while.
The sand crunched as Jack approached and dropped next to Daniel, who
glanced at him briefly and looked back out at the horizon.
“You know, Carter and Teal’c are worried about you. They’re waiting to spring a surprise
birthday party on you back at camp.
Carter actually baked a cake and Teal’c smuggled it here in his pack.”
Daniel smiled faintly and said, “I’ll go back soon and be a happy
birthday-boy. Just not quite yet.”
They sat for several minutes soaking in the beauty of the scene in front
of them, brushed by a warm breeze. Then
Jack asked, “You want to tell me about it?
Does it have to do with your birthday?”
Daniel sighed and took a deep breath.
“Sort of. I’m 37 today.”
Jack looked at the striking profile with a wry smile. “And?
Thirty-seven looks good on you.”
His friend took another deep breath.
This was obviously hard for him to talk about. “That’s how old my father was when he died. Thirty-seven.”
Oh. It was one of those
things. Jack was silent.
“That was 29 years ago. He died
29 years ago. It hardly seems possible,
you know? If he had lived he’d be 66
years old now.”
Jack slid his hand around to cup Daniel’s knee.
The younger man continued softly, “I know it’s maudlin and self-pitying,
but I think about how it might have been if they had lived. I wish I knew who my father would be at
66. I wish he knew me now, as a man.”
“It isn’t maudlin. I know what
you mean. I’m always aware of exactly
how old Charlie would be if he were still alive. He’d be learning to drive now, going on dates. There are a whole bunch of experiences that we’ll
never get to have, and it sucks. No use
pretending that it doesn’t.”
Daniel nodded and laughed briefly at himself. “My mother was a few years younger. She was 34 when she died, and I didn’t have a crisis about it
when I turned 34. This is something to
do with my father. As this year
progresses, at some point I’ll become older than he ever was. I can’t explain it. It just hurts.” Jack could see Daniel’s eyes becoming red.
Jack put a hand on Daniel’s shoulder, pushed him back to lay on the sand,
and stretched out next to him so that their shoulders touched. Finding Daniel’s hand, he threaded their
fingers together, and they lay looking up at the points of light grouped into
unfamiliar constellations. Of course,
Jack’s first impulse was to roll over, climb on top of his lover and kiss him
into oblivion. This was one of the rare
times, though, that Jack was glad that being on a mission made it out of the
question. What Daniel needed right now
wasn’t sex. He needed a totally
different kind of connection.
Jack tightened his grip on Daniel’s hand and opened his heart. He opened himself to everything Daniel was,
everything he’d been through and felt.
He didn’t try to grasp or hold on to it, and he didn’t try to change
it. He just let Daniel wash through him
with acceptance.
Daniel’s hand squeezed his.
After a while, he said. “Thank
you, Jack. Thank you for not giving me
a speech, for just being here with me.”
Jack turned his head to look at the man next to him. “All those things I could say in a speech,
about how your father would be proud of you, about how much he would like you
as you are, I hope you know that they’re true without being told.”
Daniel met Jack’s eyes. “I
do. I think that if my father were
alive he would love me very much. And I
would love him. I know that’s true.”
Looking into his lover’s deep blue eyes, Jack nodded and bit his
lip. Daniel rolled onto his side facing
him, without releasing their joined hands, and reached out, wrapping his palm
around the side of Jack’s neck. Daniel
leaned forward and brushed their lips together gently, his heat spreading
through Jack like a miracle.
“And I love you, Jack.”
There was too much emotion welling up in Jack’s throat to allow him to answer,
but Daniel seemed to understand. He
slid his fingers up into Jack’s hair, and they held the gaze for what seemed
like forever, communicating silently the way that only they could. Eventually, Daniel lifted his hand away and
leaned back.
“So, do you know what kind of cake I’m going to be treated to?”
Jack swallowed and found his voice.
“It’s a chocolate-orange cake with some fluffy orange icing. They brought the icing separately and put it
all together just now. Candles and
everything.”
“Not 37, I hope.”
“No. Wouldn’t want to start a
forest fire or anything.”
“Better not keep them waiting, then.”
As they stood and brushed the sand from their clothes, Daniel looked up
at Jack and said seriously, “Just promise me one thing.”
“What’s that, Daniel?”
“Promise me you won’t sing Happy Birthday.”
“What, and miss out on one of the most important parts of the ‘ritual
honoring the anniversary of your parturition’?
Teal’c would be devastated.”
“It’s just that you all have terrible voices. Do you have any idea what torture it is to listen to people
singing off key and have to pretend to enjoy it?”
“Suck it up, Daniel. It’s one of
the sacrifices you make for your friends.”
They grinned fondly at each other and their hands linked again. Jack and Daniel headed back up over the top
of the dune, toward the flickering firelight of home.
End
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