Title:    The Look of Love
Author:   Joolz
Feedback:  If you like J  [email protected]

Rating:   PG
Pairings: J/D.
Category: Romance

Date:     December 2001

Disclaimer: Not my lovely characters, just playing with them.

Summary: Sigh, who could help but fall in love?

Warnings: My very first attempt at slash.  Song lyrics. 

 

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The Look of Love

By Joolz

 

 

They stood together in the sanctuary of the temple.  It was in remarkably good shape for being three thousand years old.  Deep carvings and brightly painted images covered the walls. 

 

Daniel was in lecture mode.  Had been for some time.  Jack was trying to follow what he was saying.  You never knew, sometimes something useful was hidden in all that information.  It’s just that it was so damn…linguistic. 

 

“So you see, the form of these hieroglyphs indicates the impact of early Greek writing, which is unusual because the Egyptians of this period were highly resistant to external influences.  They considered Egyptian society to be divinely inspired and all other knowledge systems to be inferior.  In fact, they considered maintaining the purity of their traditional written forms to be essential for the preservation of their privileged relationship with the gods, to the extent that…”

 

Jack’s mind wandered as the scientist rambled on without pausing for breath.  The bright sunlight outside was dimmed by the thick walls surrounding them, but the room glowed with the reflection off the painted surfaces.  Sounds were muted by the weight of the ages and the lyrical rise and fall of Daniel’s voice played like background music in the stillness, soothing Jack’s senses.  Since they’d seen no signs of inhabitants or Goa’uld, no dangerous plants or animals, no sudden earthquakes or any of the other usual disasters, Jack was relaxed, happy to let Daniel enjoy his find.  Teal’c and Carter were off collecting their mineral samples and catching some rays.  All was right with the world.

 

Jack was looking at Daniel’s face, watching the words form and fall from his lips, when it hit him.  Like a ton of bricks falling from a great height.  As the realization grew, Jack paled, his eyes grew wide and his mouth dropped open.  He was completely stunned, and may have stopped breathing for a minute.  Wouldn’t have been surprised by that.  Wouldn’t have been surprised to find that the planet had flipped on its axis.  Suddenly nothing made sense anymore, and maybe never would again.

 

Something about how Jack was staring at him as though he’d just grown a medusa head finally got through to Daniel and he stopped talking mid-sentence.

 

“Jack?  What’s wrong?”

 

His friend just stared at him in shock.

 

Alarmed now, Daniel stepped forward and touched O’Neill’s shoulder.  “Jack?”

 

Suddenly, Jack shook himself and jumped back a step.  “The weirdest thing just happened, Daniel.  I may be under some kind of alien mind control.”

 

“What?”

 

Jack swallowed, startled expression still in place.  “Well, I was watching you while you talked, and then I just knew that what I wanted most in life was to suck your lower lip into my mouth and nibble on it.  I mean, it’s so full and lush.  It’s so…edible.  So…”  He looked at Daniel with wide eyes, and floundered. “Oh, god.”

 

Daniel wasn’t sure he’d heard right.  “W..what?”

 

“I know!  I know it’s crazy.  We’re not like that.  You’re the best friend I’ve ever had, and I love you like a brother.  Right?  That’s how we are, right?  I’m not supposed to be… to be in love with you!  I’m not supposed to want to hold you and kiss you pretty much forever.  Then how come all the blood in my body just slammed into my, um, nether regions, just at the thought of it?  Oh, I’m in deep shit here.  What am I going to do?”

 

Daniel was fairly stunned by what he was hearing, but mainly struck by what he was seeing.  Colonel Jack O’Neill, special ops trained tough guy, was babbling.  His hands floated in the air, palms open, fingers outstretched as though he were pleading.  If his eyes got any larger, his face would disappear.  Jack was afraid.  He’d scared himself shitless.  Daniel had never seen him so vulnerable.

 

“Jack.”

 

But the other man continued on desperately, “I’m so sorry, Danny.  You didn’t need to know all this.  I shouldn’t have said anything.  It’s just that, god, I tell you everything!  So I didn’t think, I just blurted it right out.”

 

“Jack.”

 

“But don’t worry.  This is my problem and I’ll handle it.  I won’t start coming on to you or harassing you or anything.  You’re still my friend.  I hope.  I won’t…I won’t…”

 

Daniel raised his voice sharply, “Jack!”

 

O’Neill finally shut his mouth.

 

“Jack, just calm down here.  Nothing horrible has happened.  I’ll admit that I’m a little stunned by what you’re saying.  It isn’t a concept that ever entered my mind before.  But I’m glad you told me.  The day you stop telling me important things, I’ll have to beat the crap out of you.  It’s going to take me some time to get used to this, but I’m not angry at you or disgusted by you.  Let’s just slow down here.  We’ll work this out together.”

 

Emotion played over the older man’s face.  Daniel didn’t hate him for what he’d said, for what he felt.  Daniel was still with him, was going to help him.  He suddenly felt so grateful; to some god, to the universe, he didn’t know.

 

He reached out one hand to touch Daniel’s face, but stopped just short.  He managed to croak out, “Thank you.”

 

Daniel’s forehead crinkled, and he shook his head.  He reached out, and pulled Jack into a chaste embrace, wrapping his arms around his friend.  Jack relaxed against him, and let his head drop onto the other man’s shoulder.

 

Daniel continued, lightening the mood, “It’s going to be alright.  Let’s keep this in perspective.  You could have just told me there was a Goa’uld standing behind me.  Or that the Earth had blown up while we were away.  Or that Teal’c had lost his sense of humor.  We’ll really talk about this later, back home.  No promises, right?  Only that we’ll get through it together.  How does that sound?”

 

Jack nodded his head on Daniel’s shoulder, and mumbled, “Good.”  Then he straightened up and pulled away, clearing his throat.  He repeated in a more normal voice, “Good.” 

 

The archeologist went on, “I just want to make a few more notes here, then I’ll be done.  Sam and Teal’c will be back soon, and we can go.  Will you be all right till then?”

 

Casting a few shy glances his way, Jack replied, “Yeah.  I’m starting to get a grip.  It was just such a…surprise.  I’m OK now, though.  You go do what you need to.”

 

“Okay, Jack.  I’ll be right here.”  The young man retrieved his notebook and pen, and moved to one of the side walls to continue his study, casting concerned glances at his friend.

 

For his part, O’Neill walked to the wall by the door and sat down, leaning his back against the firm surface.  He felt physically and emotionally drained, so he leaned his head back and closed his eyes, hoping that life would give him a break just this once, and leave him alone for five minutes.

 

*****************************

 

The Colonel floated on auto-pilot through the debriefing and medical exam.  He worried about what he should do next.  Daniel had said they would talk, but when?  Should he suggest it, or wait for Daniel to make a move.  This was his best friend, they hung out all the time.  How could it have gotten so complicated so fast?

 

Fortunately, he didn’t have to suffer with his indecision for long, as Daniel stuck his head into Jack’s office, hair still damp from his shower, and said, “Your house.  Tonight at eight?”

 

“Yeah, see you there.”

 

O’Neill sighed with relief and turned back to his work.

 

****************************

 

When Daniel arrived chez O’Neill, the outside light was on, and a faint glow emanated from the front windows.  Jack opened the door for him and ushered him into a flickering chamber.  The living room was lit entirely by candlelight and the luminosity of the fire place.  He shot the other man a sideways look, and asked quite a long question with one word.  “Jaaack?”

 

“Look, I know you said no promises, and I know you’re being very patient with me, but I’m starting to feel like myself again.  That means that if I have an objective, I’ll take all the necessary strategic measures to achieve it.  I warn you now, Daniel Jackson, I want you and I’m going to have you.  You’re doomed.”  Jack’s cocky smile turned more serious.  “Except of course if you tell me to stop and leave you alone.  Then I’ll do it.  I told you I wouldn’t harass you, and I won’t.  But I really want this, and I’m going to give it my best shot.”

 

Daniel’s lips twitched, as he tried not to smile.  “Fair enough.  I don’t know yet how I feel about this, but I’m open.  So go ahead, Colonel, give it your best shot.”

 

Permission granted, the wooing commenced.

 

Jack poured two glasses of wine from the bottle on the mantelpiece.  Handing one to Daniel, he guided them toward the sofa, and settled them into its familiar embrace.  Daniel sat in the middle, with Jack at one end turned toward him, one ankle tucked under the other thigh.  “I want you to know, Daniel, that this isn’t just a whim on my part, a hormonal rush.  I’ve had time to think about this, and I know that I really love you.  I want us to spend our lives together.  Together, like a couple.  I want to make love to you, wake up next to you every morning.  I’ve never known anyone like you, you amaze me.  I love you, and I want you to love me, too.   How’s that for an opener?”

 

Daniel bobbed his chin in acknowledgement, blushing.

 

“So, Danny, you’ve had some time to process this little bombshell.  Tell me what you’re thinking.”

 

It was Daniel’s turn to feel uncomfortable.  “Oh.  Well.  I don’t know, really.  I’m thinking that I’ve always been straight, and as far as I know, so have you.  That’s not really a problem for me, it’s just never come up before.  I’ve had offers from men, but I was never interested in any of them.  I don’t know yet if I’m interested in you that way; I don’t know exactly how that should feel, but I’m not rampantly horny.  I have been alone a long time, and I’m tired of it.  I remember how good it felt to be close to someone, and I’d like that again.  And we know each other so well, there wouldn’t be any of that discovering the truth about someone once the initial rush is gone.  That part would be easy anyway.  And I really want you to be happy.  But there’s more to consider, like your career, Sam, well the whole team in fact.”  

 

Jack’s face was slowly falling as he listened to the man he loved talk.  He’d heard him be more passionate about an Etruscan vase.

 

Daniel stopped, took a deep breath, and started again.  “That’s what I’m thinking.   But there’s another side, too.  What I’m feeling.  That’s not so clear; actually it’s a bit of a mush.  I do know that I love you, but my thinking brain can’t really define in what way.  You’re my best friend.  I admire and trust you.  I feel happiest when we’re together.  I’d be bereft if I lost you from my life.  The idea of being closer to you is intriguing.  The thought of kissing you… it feels interesting…in a nice kind of a way.  Sort of warm and fuzzy.  I feel curious. Not adverse to trying it.  But thinking about anything beyond that,”  his body stiffened slightly, “I just kind of shut down.”

 

Jack brightened during this speech, especially the warm and fuzzy bit.

 

But Daniel wasn’t done.  “So I’m sorry, Jack.  I’m just confused by all this.  I can’t give you what you want.”

 

Jack shook his head.  “Not to worry, kiddo.  Sure, I would have liked you to say that you’d had the hots for me for years, and were just waiting for me to get a clue, but I did hear some grounds for hope in there.  You haven’t walked out on me yet, so I’m just going to win you over little by little.  So let’s have some fun.” 

 

He stood and held his hand out to the younger man.  “Dance with me.”

 

Daniel stared up at him in surprise.  “Are you serious?  Jack O’Neill dances?”

 

“He does.  Does Daniel Jackson?”

 

Daniel took the offered hand and stood.  “Been known to on occasion.”

 

Jack walked to the stereo and touched a switch.  “Come on, then.  You be Fred, I’ll be Ginger.”

 

As Jack pulled Daniel close, a woman’s light voice sounded through the room, and they began to sway together.

 

S’wonderful

S’marvelous

You should care for me

S’awfully nice

S’paradise

S’what I love to see

 

You made my life so glamorous

You can’t blame me for feeling amorous

S’wonderful

Marvelous

That you should care for me

 

Daniel smiled.  “Pulling out all the stops, heh?  Sappy, sentimental music to go with the candle light.”

 

“Get with the program, Daniel.  It’s called romantic, not sappy.  And I’m not so good at saying what I feel.  These old songs get closer than I can.”

 

Jack nestled his cheek closer into Daniel’s as the next song came on with a little faster rhythm.

 

I remember you

You’re the one who made my dreams come true

A few kisses ago

I remember you

You’re the one who said ‘I love you too’, didn’t you

I remember you

 

I remember too

A distant bell

And stars that fell

Like rain out of the blue

When my life is through

And the angels ask me to recall

The thrill of them all

Then I shall tell them

I remember you

 

The pair swayed together broadly, enjoying the feeling of being close, of strong arms and body heat.  Jack murmured, “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me”, and Daniel nuzzled their heads together.

 

Another song came on all bluesy and sexy as hell.  Their bodies moved closer in response to the direct call to their pelvic regions.

 

Now you say you’re lonely

You cry the whole night through

Well you can cry me a river

Cry me a river

I cried a river over you

 

Now you say you’re sorry

For being so untrue

Well you can cry me a river

Cry me a river

I cried a river over you

 

Now you say you love me

Well just to prove that you do

You can cry me a river

Cry me a river

I cried a river over you

 

Daniel pulled his face away from Jack, and pouted at him from under his lashes.  “So am I accused of being untrue already?”

 

“No, darling, just a little warning.  I’m good stuff.  You don’t want to loose your chance, now do you?”

 

Daniel smiled, really starting to get into the spirit of the thing.  “So who is this, anyway?”

 

“It’s Diana Krall’s new album.  Sara gave it to me for my birthday.  Can’t wait to tell her the use I’m putting it to.”

 

When the next song came on, a low growl sounded in Daniel’s throat, and he led Jack into a light latin rhythm.  He softly sang along with the lyrics, letting the words rumble into Jack’s ear.

 

Bésame, bésame mucho

Como si fuera esta noche la última vez

Bésame, bésame mucho

Que tengo miedo perderte

Perderte después

 

Quiero sertirte muy cerca

Mirarme tus hojos

Verte junto a mi

Piense que tal es mañana

Yo estaré muy lejos

Muy lejos de ti

 

Bésame, bésame mucho

 

Jack didn’t know what it meant, something about kissing, but he didn’t care because Daniel obviously did and was getting into it.  His libido kicked up another notch at the mysterious foreign sound of the words.  He thought, ‘Just call me Gomez’, identifying with the unquenchable thrill that Addams felt when hearing Morticia’s teasing French.  He knew that by now Daniel would be well aware of his need, as close as they were dancing, but he hadn’t pulled away.  Quite the opposite.  During the instrumental interlude, the linguist purred a translation into Jack’s ear, voice low and breathy.

 

Kiss me

As though tonight were the last time

Kiss me

Because I’m afraid of losing you later

 

I want to feel you close

Look into your eyes

Think of tomorrow

When I’ll be far away from you

 

Kiss me

 

By the last line, Daniel’s lips were brushing Jack’s cheek, making his breath catch.  Was this boy trying to kill him?

 

Daniel maintained the lead as they began to swing gently into the Bossa Nova rhythm that followed.  Jack pulled back slightly, so they were face to face.  He held Daniel’s gaze, to make sure the words were making the right impression.

 

The look of love is in your eyes

A look your smile can’t disguise

The look of love

Is saying so much more than just words could ever say

And what my heart has heard, well it takes my breath away

 

I can hardly wait to hold you

Feel my arms around you

How long I have waited

Waited just to love you

Now that I have found you

 

You’ve got that look of love

It’s on your face

A look that time can’t erase

Be mine tonight

Let this be just the start of so many nights like this

Let’s take a lover’s vow and then seal it with a kiss

 

I can hardly wait to hold you

Feel my arms around you

How long I have waited

Waited just to love you

Now that I have found you

Don’t ever go

Don’t ever go

 

 

Their mouths were an inch apart, eyes locked.  “I love you, Daniel.”

 

Daniel sighed, “I love you, too.”

 

Jack closed the distance between them, and their lips met.  A gentle, dry kiss.  An acknowledgement, no more.  And so much more.  Slowly, giving Daniel a chance to signal him to stop, Jack slid his mouth down, and sucked the other man’s lower lip between his own.  He ran his tongue over it, tasting it, savoring it.  Then he released it with a moan.  Pulling back to look at Daniel, he saw that his eyes were closed, head slightly tilted back, lips parted.  Daniel was totally immersed in the kiss, in Jack’s arms, in the feeling between them.  Jack’s heart was overwhelmed at the sight, and he vowed to cherish this man for as long as he was alive.  This was just the start; they had a long way to go to be everything they could be to each other, but they would make that journey together.

 

Daniel’s eyes opened, and the intense blue reached out to the soft brown. 

 

And never would let go.

 

 

The End

 

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