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| January 30, 8:45 am. Been busy.... still corded out. Me and Glitter got back together, yay us. The other day we hung out for like... I dunno... a long while. Just chilled mostly, talked. Smoked. Went to Wendy's, then Sally's, and got me hair dye, and some nail polish, and shit. Glitter bleached my hair and then dyed it "neon motha fuckin yelloW". It kicks ass... Sometimes I wish I could just stand in front of a mirror and admire it with a black lite. But that'd be too odd even for me. So, yeah. Glitter's my girly. Happy vibes. January 27, 3:35 pm. Wow. It's really pathetic that I can see the short amount of time our relationship lasted. Fuck. She was one of the happy points in my life, and I'm kinda low on them, and I think I fucked it up worse by bitching to a guy whose house she happened to be over at... I dunno. I still really like her, and I would go out with her again, because I really do want a relationship with her. She says the chances of a relationship are good, but I just feel really... bleh. And so I try to become numb. I'd talk more, but yeah. I can't even say everything here, cuz it's too public. January 23. 7:04 pm Yaaay! Me and Glitter are going out! Yay us! Some people are pissed, but blah. I like Glitter and she likes me, and we're like... in a relationship. And she's my girly, and I'm her boi, and we're happy little party kids. Yay. January 20, 3:13 pm. Yeah. One of my friends wants me to move to Spain with them and another person. I might do it. We'd all have steady, though illegal, work... but I'd miss a lotta my party friends, and people in general. I dunno. January 20, 1:30 pm. Yeah. I skipped the party last night to chill with two friends who were in town visiting random people... they're off right now, should leave for Detroit again in like... 3 hours? Iunno. My hardcore ban is gone. Got some free shit last night, so I did it. I kinda regret it, but it all brought about a huge cuddling non-sexual orgy of PLUR... so, yeah. It was really comfortable. Fuckin' a, my life is mellow right now. Just gonna chill for a while, and let whatever happens happen, maybe... January 19, 1:50pm. Bleh. Life is alright, for the moment, compared to how it could be. I've been stoned non-stop for the last 2 days. Heard the song "Slow Motion" by 3eB, and it's a very good song, although slightly chilling. The song so incredibly reminds me of my own life, 2 years ago, and the things that happened in it... it freaked me out. But I really enjoy it, and I think I may be the only person who doesn't find it depressing -- it's just thought provoking, because it makes me remember what may be considered the most perfect time in my life. And how fucked up is that, that the best time of my life may have ended midway through Freshman year... in high school. Damn. I think my friends and I grew up quicker than anyone in recent history... I mean, I shot at someone in the sixth grade. I was into hardcore shit by seventh. Eighth grade I was living like I was a 28-year-old coke dealer. It's a little depressing, but my life would be so much different now if all this hadn't have happened. I dunno. And last night I messed around with an ex... Don't know what's up there. I know I still have feelings for her, and she knows it I assume. So, yeah. It just kind of happened. Dunno what's going to happen from this point on. I've been off anything hardcore for 2 weeks and 2.5 days now. January 16, 10:53pm... Fuck. I'm so melancholy. I was listening to depressing music all night, and then something really bad is happening I just found out, and I'm really, really, really sad about it. Like close to tears kinda sad. No more happy Jolly for a while... Every time life gets even a little better, it gets worse. And each good period is shorter than the last. By the time I'm 20 I'll be dead. |
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