diary3

January 15, 6:43pm.
      Yeah... so I was pissed off today, and took shit waaaay too seriously, and attacked Vince Krivda. I stuck him like 8 times, but all on the ear and chest, so there's nothing visibile. Then him and Darius went outside, and I went out with Ricky cuz I knew I fucked up, and after waiting forever Vince finally stuck me in the face once as a rebuff. Bleh. Fuckin' braces. Now I have a cut lip, and a bruise on my face. Anyway, I feel fine now. Except about the shit with like... my really good friend maybe being sent off. Today she was like "Yeah... in case we never see each other again" before we hugged. Kinda FUCKING depressing. But I dunno, I'm in a semi-good mood, except for that.

January 14, 11:21pm.
      Fuck. Man, I'm not even pissed, I'm just sooo sad I could die. I'm like... soo close to crying, because it seems that whenever my life starts to turn good, it turns to FUCKING BULLSHIT, and my life crashes to hell. I mean... My life was perfect, then Amber died. Went pretty sour. Got better for a while, then some other bullshit happened and I left, and it went kinda shitty. Got better this year, and it got better, and just like a few days ago I got happy because I learned some shit, and it was just happy for me, and then THIS bullshit happens and I think my life is just about to go to hell again... Man, fuck that. Marty and Graham and Eillean pulled some real cold shit and thew it, and it's fucking up my friend's lives, and mine, and I just wanna cry but I don't have energy for it. Shit. I just got one question for Marty, and Eilean, and Graham, and Life... "Am I wearing lipstick?"... cuz I like to look pretty when I'm getting FUCKED.

January 14, 11:05pm.
      That is some COLD SHIT. Man, damn. That is cold. Graham is fucking with all my friends, and fucking them over, and pulling shit out their asses, and now the two people I think I might like best at that fucking school might be going away, and might be sent away someplace, and this is all fucking bullshit. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK F-U-C-K. This is some cold shit. Man, fuck that. That is soooo wrong. Marty bullshitted all this fucking bullshit, and got all this shit to fuckup my shit and my friend's shit, and that is some cold shit yos. This is some really fucked up bullshit. I am SOOO pissed, holy fuck, can you tell? Shit, that is sooo wrong. And I don't even have a FUCKING CAR to go FUCKING CHEER UP my FUCKING FRIENDS because life is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooo fucked up. Fuck it.

January 13, 6:47pm.
      Yaaaaay. Glitter and Ms. Bunni just like came over, and made my day. No, that's not sad! I've been alone lately, cuz of my illness and all. And they gave me a can of chicken noodle soup, and a few toys, and like a sucker. Yaaaaaaaaaaay! And we all talked about doing something with Glitter's ass, hrm. Fun fun. I say, let's go for it. And we listened to music, and shared a SOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUULLLL moment, and discussed the eroticism of various things. Oh, yeah. Frosties, sucking on glow sticks, snow... all very kinky shit. Ummm, yeah. That's pretty much it, I was only out there for like a 1/2 hour. Just made me all happy.

January 12, 11:36 am.
      I am pissed. Firstly, I have an 'unknown virus' of the throat. Yay me. Secondly, I had to remove a post from MY PRIVATE DIARY, my THOUGHTS, because someone read it who wasn't supposed to, I don't even know who it was, and came to the conclusion that it was about someone different than it was about. How freaking rude. Whoever that was, if you are reading this post, please leave. Now. I did not give you permission, and you did not heed the warning (the /legal/ warning) on the start of my site. Please do not read my private thoughts, as I did not okay your viewing. If I cannot even write my thoughts out on a private, non-searchable webpage, closed to everyone except those who know the address... Where can I write my thoughts? At home? It's like someone reading my poetry. Please don't. It is so wrong, if I was religious that would be one of the top sins you could commit. It's like mental rape.

January 11, 10:25 pm.
      Blah. That last entry's going to offend a lot of people, but just remember it was a general rambling, although most of it is probably what I think. Most, some, or something like that. Ever listen to "The Strokes"? They kick ass. Seriously. Go to www.mp3.com and look up "The Strokes" and get their song, Last Nite. It's great. Go do it, now. And you'll be 1 out of 3 people that's ever heard of them.

January 11, 10 pm.
     I've figured part of it out. About Christianity in general, and why when people start talking all pro-Christian, it annoys the shit out of me. I mean, people can be all pro-Jew and pro-Hindu, and it's fine. But pro-Christian just really annoys me, because Christianity to me symbolizes the obvious shortcomings of religion. I mean, on Sept. 11, people came up to me and told me it was the fucking rapture. What the FUCK? The fucking apocalypse, because some terrosists decided to blow a few buildings? How blind are these people? America is NOT the world. America is like... one country. I lost friends and shit in the Sept. 11 thing, even one REALLY good friend. It was horrid. But anyone that comes up to me and tells me that was the fucking end of the world has their head up their ass. Also, I can't get it. People can sit there, have horrible things happen, and someone walking by will say "Oh, look to GOD, GOD will help you. GOD is always watching. GOD is there." and walk off, without ever offering ONE PIECE OF REAL ADVICE or HELP. It's bullshit. I can't stand that. I mean, I totally respect other peoples' opinions and rights to believe in their religion... but I also reserve my right to ask "what the FUCK?" when they sit there being so hypocritical they tell someone to look to a figure a million fucking miles away that may or may not be real, instead of taking the time to actually offer help. Look at the people in church. Go to a mass, say. The most any of those people are actually going to do to help anyone else is give some cash in the collection basket. Then they'll go back home feeling all good because, what, they bought their way into heaven? And I can totally see why believing in a god would make it easier for someone. I mean, holy shit, I almost wish I could believe in this absolute right and wrong. But look at history. People who kill and murder don't get punished by some lightning from the sky. They can die from, say, cholera... but SO DO "innocent" people. And I say that in quotes, because everyone fucks everyone else over. I mean, holy shit. Every major religion on this planet centers on the fact that humans are THE supreme race. What if we find other life on some other planet? Every religion is FUCKED. Completely. Bent over a pool table and taken up the ass. Religion will change so quick, and split two ways: One way, that when the bible said "man" it meant alllll sentient life. So, yeah, the religions will just be revised so the churches can continue to collect tithe, continue on, and maintain some semblance of order. Or, number two, the "alien creatures" will be demons from hell, sent to destroy us or some shit. And it won't be that they're good, angelic beings. Because angels mean the end, that everyone's going to heaven, and since that won't happen, the churches would be caught and fucked. But we can /fight/ evil, obviously, because Yahweh /is/ the total embodiment of good, even though in the Old Testemant he was neutral, and condoned horrid acts as often, or more often, as kind ones. But look at this. The Christian Church (in Britain) once declared, in 450 AD, that in 10 years the end of the world would come and Jesus would return with angels at his back to save the good. And that the only way this would happen is if the heathens were killed. Consequently, around 458 AD, THOUSANDS of innocent peasents were dragged from their homes and slaughtered viciously by Christians, so that their god would come to save them. And then 500 AD comes around. What happens? NOTHING. And the Christians go on living. And religion can still make people do incredibly stupid things.
Ooookay, I'm done. I felt like rambling.