Zander: What, because I'm a kidnapper? So are most of you.
Tracy:This is your grandfather Edward, the family patriarch. The one permanently standing in his shadow is your uncle Alan.
Tracy: What are you getting so upset about? I can't be expected to remember the name of every tart you ever slept with. (To Alan)
Tracy: You there. Chambermaid. Or are you a butler in drag? (To Alice)
Skye: Well, well. I thought I was the family bitch
Tracy: Not even close.
Monica:Edward, have you lost any shred of human decency?
Alan: What makes you think he ever had any?
Justus: If she asks about business, just plead the Fifth Amendment.
Jason: My favorite one.
Emily: Come anywhere near me or Elizabeth again, and my brother will make you "disappear".
Faith: Is your brother a magician?
Emily: No. My brother is Jason Morgan.
Edward: Why in gods name are you (Zander) here?
Skye: He's here to see Emily, Grandfather. Or did you think he stopped by to chat with you?
Edward: Did you put him up to this?
Skye: Oh yes, Zander and I devised an evil plot for him to visit his girlfriend.
Mac: So you were intentionally plowing down parking meters?
Dillon: Well, it's a stupid place to put parking meters
Mac: Dillon --
Tracy: Mac, this is utterly ridiculous. Obviously, A.J. had no idea that it was my son driving the car, or he wouldn't have reported it stolen. My son is a Quartermaine. He lives in that mansion. And what a stupid place to put a parking meter!
Mac: --there's someone here to see you
Emily: Ah. Now you know the real reason I had to break off my engagement with Nikolas. He was in constant fear that I would throw up all over his Jag.
Dillon: Okay you know what? I gotta say it. I can't blame the guy for being in love with her because she must've made one hell of a stripper. (about Courtney)
Edward: Do you kiss your grandmother with that mouth?
Dillon: Last time I checked, FOSSILS didn't run my life! (To Edward)
Edward: So you really want to be a thug like Jason, huh?
Dillon: Better than a suck-up like A.J.
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