(To Janet)
Bobby: Mr. D came out in class today!
Opal: Came outta what?
Hayley: Should we get dressed or go nude and give them something to talk about?
Hayley: You are seriously the most deranged husband on the face of the planet. (To Mateo)
Ryan: Maybe now's the time to tell you about my pet peeve...
Gillian: You have a pet named peeve?!
Jake: I think every family has skeletons in the closets, but at the Chandler Mansion, they're stacked up like cordwood!
JR: Mom always wanted a little girl to buy skirts for
Tad: You didn't know the half of it. You're lucky you didn't grow up with some serious issues!
Tad: The world is my oyster, too bad I'm allergic to shellfish.
Maria: Don't you have some traffic to direct somewhere? I'd love to lend you a blindfold! (To Taylor)
Palmer: If you want to butter up something, here. Work on that. (To Kendall, handing her a piece of toast)
Trey:Your mother just died and you sit out here making snide remarks?
David: Well, you see, that's because this is a hospital and cartwheels aren't allowed.
Edmund: It sounded like there was a woman moaning.
Brooke: Honey, it's that kind of motel!!
Vanessa: You know, I worked on Palmer all last night just for you.
David: Yuck! Thanks for the image! Now you've spoiled my appetite!
Opal: Well, slap me naked and call me Wanda.
Hayley: Well, we can't name this baby Regis!
Mateo: Why not?
Hayley: Because it sounds like a hotel.
Erica: You're drunk!
Arlene:And you're a priss. Difference is, I'll be sober in the morning.
Marian: To assure my daughter's future, I would crawl into bed with King Kong!
Opal: Yeah, and enjoy it no doubt!
Hayley: Oh, I can't believe it. You are so handsome and taller and
older-looking.
Tim: Yeah, and you look so --
Hayley: Watch it.
Kendall: (answers her phone) Dammit this better be life or death!
Ryan: I can't imagine why you're single.
Jake: So... (After kissing Mia)
Mia: So? What? You want a grade?!
Liza: Adam was cheating on me. I knew that.
Tad: So you ask for a big divorce settlement. You don't shove somebody out a window.
Anna: Why is it the bigger you get, the louder the pattern? Like it's going to hide the fact that you ate a cheese wheel
Jackson: You know I've had feelings for Erica for years. Come on.
Brooke: Yeah, so have I!
Simone: Well, she did drop the lawsuit.
Tad: Yeah, well, only after I scared her and about 28 cats spitless.
Boyd: Let's just say she changed her attitude when we told her she could wind up in jail for extortion.
Tad: And that they didn't allow pets up in statesville.
Henry: What rhymes with "Maggie" besides "baggy" and "saggy" and "waggy"?
Kendall: Settle down, you're gonna bust a blood vessel.
Myrtle: I oughta bust your fanny!
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