Todd: Don't call your mother a beast!
Jessica: She does horrible things to people and always get's away with it, people always forgive her...kind of like...you
Todd: People forgive me because I'm cuddly
Jessica: My hair looks like something from The Young and the Restless!
Lindsay: It's a beautiful day!
Dorian: Yes it is... you're in a good mood. Did you murder Nora?
Mel: For the last year, sex for me has been a religious experience. And I have been an atheist
Renee: You have the perfect marraige! Except for the fact that you're divorced...
(to Viki about Clint)
Gabrielle: We just have to think like Alex.
Nigel: No, I don't think humans can do that.
Sam: Sit. Stay.
Blair: Arf.
Andy: I was just thinking...
Todd: I thought you had an odd expression!
Marty: I thought you were dead.
Todd: Yeah well, I guess when you die and you're a bad guy, you don't go to hell...you go to Llanview.
Tea: Thanks for reminding me Blair. I do have to prepare Starr for your visit. You see, she's uncomfortable around strangers.
Todd: And there's no one stranger than Blair!
Max: You know what you got half of lady? You got half a brain! (To Roxie)
Max: I did what was best for my children
Roxie: Just like Lizzie Borden did what was best for her parents
Allison: Do you know what genetic means?
Roxie: Of course I know what genetic means! You think I could afford name brands?
Starr: But I want to go home
Nora: Isn't Matthew kind of counting on playing with you tonight?
Starr: Oh, he'll live
Nora: Don't you think it's kind of rude if you just run out on him?
Starr: Why? He's my friend. He'll understand
Starr: His tail is moldy. It's really gross, but yet really cool (about her lizard)
Todd: You marry HIM and I'M an idiot? (To Blair about max)
Todd: I can't be with Blair.
Starr: Why not?
Todd: Because I just can't be with Blair.
Starr: Then can I come live with you and Tea?
Todd: I can't be with Tea either.
Starr: Boy, your life is sure screwed up.
Starr: I'm not your daughter.
Senora Lena: For that, the Lord has blessed me.
Todd:Okay, you're..you're grounded until you're, like fifty-two. Now get out of the way.(To Starr when he's trying to propose to Blair)
Dorian: I don't want the pity of my friends.
Viki: You don't have any friends.
Bo: Manning, did you really think you could get away with impersonating a police officer?
Todd: You seem to be getting away with it
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