Erica: I can have any man I want.
Opal: Oh, yeah, only because your life is one endless desperate lap dance!
Liza: Adultery isn't caused by biology. It's caused by men!
Tad: I'm not going to lounge here and listen to you tear up the entire male sex for screwing around when you personally have done more for women's liberation in that area than any other human being I know. (to Liza)
Tad: You are a phony.
Liza: Tramp.
Tad: You bet your ass. (kisses her)
3/4
Tad: I kissed Liza. Yeah. And it wasn't some just, you know, chaste little peck "hello," either. It was, "Hi, how you doing, let me check your tonsils" lip wrestling.
Brooke: Do what an adult would do.
Tad: Yeah? What's that?
Brooke: Deal with it.
Tad: Oh, gee, I hope you didn't strain yourself coming up with that one.
Greenlee: She's like a little doll.
Anna: She is tiny, but she has the lungs of Kelly Osbourne. (about her new baby)
Kendall: I was with Michael.
Greenlee: Hmm. I hope it was the best sex you ever had because you just cost us our company.
3/5
Carlos: Guarda la fe.
Greenlee: Hmm. What does that mean?
Simone: "Kendall sucks."
Simone: we still have each other.
Greenlee: Oh, god.
Maggie: That is the cutest baby ever! (about Leora)
Anna: She doesn't look a bit her dad, does she?
David: Thank you very much.
Maggie: Hey, if she didn't say it, I was going to.
Kendall: Ok, I screwed up, I screwed up, ok, but I didn't mean to.
Greenlee: You know what? Maybe if I were 5 and all you had done was pull my hair that excuse would fly. Then all i'd have to do is tell everyone you smell bad and things would be copacetic.
3/6
Kendall: Erica can't stand the sight of my face
Greenlee: Then where a bag over your head
3/10
Mia: Kendall is usually here by now.
Greenlee: Unless the moon is full.
Kendall: Oh, please. He's been to juvie more times than you've walked down the aisle. You want to put a halo on him? (To Erica about Reggie)
3/11
Mia: You know, sweetie, I still have some of that chocolate...
Greenlee: You know, I don't need zits on top of everything else.
3/12
Tad: I'm here to ask you out.
Lysistrata: Oedipus issue.
Tad: No, I'm asking you out, not my mother!!!
Simone: You need a boyfriend, seriously, someone else other than myself that you can bug.
Joni: I had one, ok?
Simone: Yeah, and where'd he go? Crazy?
Lysistrata: And when you look at me, do you -- well, do you see a woman?
Tad: Why? Is there something under the dress I should know about?
Lysistrata: You like yourself?
Tad: I'm a likeable guy!
Tad: You're not my doctor, you're my date.
Lysistrata: You pay all of your dates?
Tad: During a dry spell.
Simone: Jake's a jerk, Allison's a ho. What more do you need to know?
Lysistrata: He(Tad) wants to jump out of an airplane!
Tad: Wrong! I've already done that! Huh? I've also gone off a bridge, I've fallen into bed with a woman and her mother, I have been bound and gagged, poured into a dress, and made love in the green grass behind the stadium.
Lysistrata: Wow. You've got some heavy baggage.
Tad: I like to think of it as character.
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