| Pot Jokes! |
| A stoner is walking down the street when he realizes he left his lighter at his friend's house. He goes back he goes back to get it and when he gets there, his friend isn't home. So he keeps on knocking on the door and his friend comes up from behind him and says,"Hello?" The other stoner yells through the door, " You still go my lighter man!" The friend behind the stoner said,"Hold on, let me get it." He reaches in his pocket, pulls out the lighter, walks inside, shuts the door, opens the door back up and says, "Hello?" |
| A cop pulls over a car full of stoners. The cop goes up to the car and the driver rolls down the window and the cop said, "Congragulations! You have won $2,000 dollars for wearing a seat belt!" The driver says,"Oh, I thought u pulled me over for not having a license!" Then the driver's girlfriend says, "Don't mind him, he's just stoned." Then a friend in the back seat says, "I thought u pulled us over for this pound of weed over here!" Then another friends in the back says,"I thought u pulled us over for the stolen car!" Then the cop hears someone in the trunk say,"Are we across the border yet?" |
| One day 3 guys were walking down the street: a pothead, a burnout, and an acidhead. They all suddenly stop walking and look at each other. The burnout says,"If only i had a joint!" Poof he had a joint. The acidhead says, "Only if i had a tab!" Poof he had a tab. The pothead says, "Only if i had a girl!" Poof he was a girl. |
| 3 stoners rob a 7-11 they run out with the money The cops start to chase them. They eached jumped in a potato bag to try n hide. The cops catch up and kicked the 1st potato bag. "BARK!" says the 1st stoner The cops say,"Oh. it's just a dog, leave it alone." They kicked the 2nd potato bag. "MEOW!" says the 2nd stoner. The cops say oh it's just a cat leave it alone. They then kick the 3rd potato bag. They kicked it again. And again. And again. The stoner could not think of something to say The cops kicked it again. "POTATO!" says the 3rd stoner. |
| Riddles: |
| Q. What is a stoner's favorite car? |
| A. a Blazer |
| Q. Why do stoners cross the street in front of cars? |
| A. What u can't see can't hurt you |
| Q.Did u hear about the stoner who locked his keys in the car? |
| A. He couldn't get his family our for an hour |
| Q.How many stoners does it take to screw in a light bulb? |
| A. None thats why they all have lighters. |
| Q.How can u tell if someone is a true stoner? |
| A. They read all the small jokes and skip the long ones |
| Q. What do u call a roach stuck on a toothpick? |
| A. Pot on a stick |
| Q. How do u get a stoner outta room full of pot? |
| A. You can't |
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