| School of Rock AND Like Mike Double Review!!!! |
| How in the world can I link these two movies, besides the fact that I saw them in the same weekend? You'll see soon enough. First I'll review School of Rock, Jack Black's new movie. As always, my reviews are not really reviews. I basically type everything I can remember and ruin the movie for you. Jack Black is a loser. He can't pay his rent. His roommate is a loser. He won't stand up to Jack Black. That girl from Mr. Show will though. She makes Jack's roommate, Ned, stand up to Jack. It turns out that the girl is Ned's girlfriend. I personally thought she did a bad job in this movie, but I guess she'll do. I think I heard somewhere that Jimmy Kimmel left his wife for Ned's girlfriend in real life. I don't really care whether or not it's true. Just pass it on. Jack is in a band. Let's call him Dewey though. Dewey seems to be a bit overenergetic for this particular band. Dewey shows up for practice with his band, and gets kicked out. Too bad. He wanted to play in the Battle of the Bands and win. Don't worry though Dewey. You're the lead character. They'll regret it. So Dewey was already a loser when he had a fake job. Now he doesn't even have that. He realizes that he needs to get a job, so he pretends he's Ned and accepts a substitute teaching job. What a wacky setup this figures to be. So Dewey accepts a substitute teaching job at what seems to be the top elementary school in the country. Dewey obviously knows nothing about teaching, but the principal shows little concern. Dewey starts class by telling everyone to play. He's not in the mood for doing anything. The kids let him know that their parents don't pay $15000 a year for recess. This continues for a little while, until Dewey sees the kids in their music class. They're playing classical instruments, but Jack sees the potential. He hurries out to his van and gets some musical instruments. When the kids get back, he tells them that there's been a change in plans and orders the kids to start playing the instruments. It's really a great moment. The kids have never played or even heard common rock riffs. Jack Black has the kids create a bit of rock and roll. The fun has officially started at this point. The movie was already fun, but who doesn't like to see music created? The next day Dewey Jack assigns the kids positions based on talents. I wonder if every kid in this school has the musical talent of these kids. They're all amazing. Anyway, they practice and practice for what they think is an academic project. Jack's secretly carrying out a crazy plan to create his own band out of children. Misplaced teacher comes to school where children don't fully understand their own musical potential. Misplaced teacher teaches kids how to reach the potential helping said kids, as well as said misplaced teacher learn some of life's lessons. The theme of the movie is that rock has no rules. It comes from inside. A product of angst. The man's holding you down? Stick it to the man! The next half hour of the film speeds by as Jack teaches the kids the history of rock, the theory of rock, rock techniques, and anything else. It's tons of fun. The best part of the movie is that it really does rock. Anyway, the day of the concert comes up and the inevitable conflict happens...people realize he's not a teacher. Doh. So the dreams of participating in the musical show are shattered. Everyone's heartbroken. A shot of the kids, then the camera pans over to Whoopi Goldberg's face, then back to the kids. They're so sad. Whoopi brought them all this way and now they can't even play. The other nuns are sad too. Oddly enough, that didn't happen. None of that Whoopi Goldberg stuff. But it could have. Why? Because this is Sister Act 2, Part 2. A rock and roll version of Sister Act 2. There's even the parent of the most talented kid who tells the kid to stop performing. He performs anyway, the parent comes to see him, and there's the same look on his face as Lauryn Hill's mom's face in Sister Act 2. That being said, it's still a great time. They stay away from the cliches at the end, at least to some extent, and send us home happy. This might have been the only movie I've been to in which no one even thought about standing up until the credits were finished. This movie had me feeling good for about 2 days. "So that's what rock's about", I thought. Sticking it to the man. As we filed out of the theater, some guy got up on the stage. One of the Hoff employees told the kid to get off the stage and I yelled out "Stick it to the man!". People around me laughed. Every so often, I wonder if I've reached my peak. I wonder things like "Is that going to be the last well-timed line I ever speak?" "When will I say something funny again? Was that my last funny moment? Will I lose the funny?". That might have been that peak. Lil Bow Wow is an orphan. So is the human head kid from Jerry Macguire. And an asian girl. And a couple bullies. They're all orphans that stink at basketball. The bullies are unrealistically mean. They all have a super-villain as a foster-care guy. Anyway, one day some old clothes come to the home. Bow Wow, or 'Calvin', takes a liking to a pair of Nikes. The nun dropping off the clothes says that they used to belong to some basketball player. Bow Wow sees "MJ" on the inside of the shoes. The overly mean bully takes the shoes and throws them over the power lines though. Calvin decides that he needs to have them though, and decides that the best time to get them is during a thunderstorm. When he reaches the shoes, he gets struck by lightning and falls to the ground. He gets a chance to play a real NBA player in the next week and beats him. He beats him by somehow flying towards the rim. I don't know how they made this sequence look so fake. It was like they took a picture of him and zoomed it across the screen far too fast. I didn't want to, but I had to laugh. It looked so funny. Anyway, Calvin realizes that he said "make me like Mike" before he played, so the shoes must be magic. Did Michael Jordan get the same kind of magic boost? Is that what they're saying? Anyway, now Calvin is going through the NBA, putting up about 25 a game. Tons of fun cameos and stuff throughout the movie. There's only one problem with the situation. The orphan with the magical sports powers is trying to get close to a guy on the team that seems to hate children and life. Also, his little orphan buddy is starting to get jealous that Calvin will probably get adopted and he won't. Eventually, we get to the end of the movie, where the team needs the magic powers the most to get to the playoffs. Unfortunately, the orphan's powers go away. The team believes in him though, and they come through with the win. At the end, kid-hater Danny Glover comes in and surprisingly adopts the orphan. The orphan says "What about JP?". Danny Glover decides to adopt him too. Oh wait. Wait a second. Go back a little bit. Danny Glover isn't in this movie. This is "Like Mike". Not "Angels in the Outfield". Sorry. Kid-hater NBA player comes in and surprisingly adopts the orphan. Calvin says "Today is 2 for 1 orphan day". NBA player decides to adopt his friend too. So touching. The kid-hater grew just as much as the kid. There was also some stuff in the movie about the supervillain betting against Calvin and stealing his shoes. This led to a scooter-chase. Anyway, the point is that this movie is stolen too! The whole plot. Even the black and white orphan getting adopted together in racial harmony. We have an epidemic here. I mean, the movie was fine. I don't regret seeing it, and it was probably better than Angels in the Outfield. Except that the entire plot is recycled. Anyway, I'll give Like Mike and School of Rock a 6.5 and 7.5 respectively. |