| June 8, 2003 - My manly he-bosom |
| Dear Friends, as you all know I've been a workout fiend this week. Not that I never worked out before, because I've had a routine of working out 2 or 3 times a week for a few years now. It's just now I've decided to work out every day because I'll be leaving for Fantabulous Scandinavia soon and won't be able to work out there. However, there is one drawback to working out that I've noticed for some time. Namely, I can't stand the way my he-boobs jiggle when I run! Yesterday, I went up to Ye Olde Watering Hole after delivering a few items to the dry cleaner's that I'll need for my Scandinavian jaunt. Anyway, as I went into the bar, I kind of ran the way a toddler does, and this guy, I'll call him Cody, said, "JOHNNYLEEN, have you been working out?" And I knew immediately he was referring to my bouncing he-boobs! Frankly, the sensation is a bit disgusting for some reason. In fact, I feel like I need to start wearing a mansiere like in that "Seinfeld" episode. It's as though they have a life of their own. "JOHNNYLEEN, we hate you and we're flying off to start our lives anew on a distant planet! Bye bye!" Now speaking of boobs; a few years ago I went to California to visit my aunt. My aunt was a fantabulous person, and I'm sorry to say that she passed away June 7, 2002. (I miss you so much, Jeannine.) Anyway, I was accompanied by my friend Antoinette and her mother, Marie. My aunt hired a boat with a guide and we all took a trip down the Sacramento river. The guide pointed out sites of interest including an area where a John Candy movie had been filmed. Then he took us to a Mexican restaurant that was right on the water. You tied the boat at a pier and then climbed up onto a dock and then walked into the restaurant from there. While we were eating, we saw an old WWII bomber take off to spray the forest fires that were going on in the Cascade Mountains. In fact, every morning when I woke up the streets in my aunt's town were filled with smoke from all the wild fires. And the funny thing about these fires was that they smelled delicious! My aunt told me I was smelling wild rosemary that grew in the mountains, so it was kind of like smelling the world's largest pot roast! So after we ate, the boat guide took us back up the river, but at three times the speed. We were all laughing, because he purposely hit each little wave and we'd be bounced up and down. Anyway, Marie, my friend's mother, has what is known vulgarly as a "rack". So every time we hit a wave she let out a little shriek of pain. By the time we got back to our starting point, she was clutching her chest to keep her breasts in place. It really was funny and even she was laughing about it and saying that she would have worn a sports bra had she known she would be bounced around so much. So that leads me back to my original train of thought I guess. Do they make sports bras for men? It really is a creepy feeling to have my pecs move around like that! On another note, Geocities, which I use to create these pages, provides some monitoring tools that allow me to see when people read my pages and which pages they read. Don't worry; it doesn't give me any info about you yourselves, it just says, for example, that 6 people read my 6/6/03 entry on Saturday. Anyway, I've noticed that I've been getting quite a few hits outside of the 5 or 6 people that I email to let them know that I've updated my diary. There seems to be one person who has been steadfastly reading since April in order to get caught up with all my high class shenanigans. To that person, and all of you, I say "Welcome". I hope I've made you laugh, because the sole purpose of this online diary is to amuse people. With all the tragedies that happen in today's world, a smile is worth more than most stock. Next entry Previous entry Go to diary entries Go back home |