| May 9, 2003 - The klepto of Crapperton |
| Dear Friends, a few years before my mother moved away from CRAPPERTON she became interested in attending auctions. I don't know if she ever actually bid on anything, but I think she found it a fun thing to do and she liked looking at all the stuff that was being auctioned off. One time she went to an auction with a friend of hers whom I'll call LaVerne. At this particular auction they were not only selling large items like furniture, but also boxes of jewelry. So if you saw something you liked in a box of jewelry you had to bid on the whole box and take the bad with the good. Anyway, before the auction started, Mom and LaVerne were wandering around looking at all the stuff. My mother really likes looking at different kinds of jewelry so she started going through all the boxes that were up for bid. LaVerne was looking through the boxes as well and found one earring that she liked. She continued hunting through the particular box until she found the matching one. One would think that she was just verifying that the match was there so she could decide if she wanted to bid on the box or not. Anyway, the auction took place and LaVerne didn't bid on anything, as I recollect. After the auction she and my mother were walking through the parking lot to the car when LaVerne said, "Leslie, do you remember those earrings I liked so much? Well, when I found the matching earring I suddenly had to blow my nose. While reaching in my pocketbook for a tissue, I accidentally dropped the earrings in my purse. I was afraid that if I took them back out again, people would think I was stealing. Do you think that was stealing?" Talk about being put on the spot! My mom just said, "Well, LaVerne, I guess it depends on how you feel about it." Was it stealing? Can I just say "puh-leeze"? I haven't looked up the definition of theft lately, but I'm pretty certain it still means taking something without paying for it. And as for thinking she was taking the earrings if she were actually putting them back, I would have automatically thought she was putting the earrings back in the box or that she had a pair of earrings of her own that she didn't like and thought that dropping them in an auction box was the perfect way to get rid of them. So after my mom told me about this episode, she and I had gone to a store like Circuit City or Radio Shack. When we came out, I said to my mom, "Leslie, while I was looking at a TV in that store, I suddenly had to blow my nose. While reaching for my handkerchief, I accidentally dropped that TV in my pocket. Do you think that was stealing?" And my mom said, "Well, JOHNNYLEEN, I guess it depends on how you feel about it." And then we just laaaaaaffffed! That funny, funny LaVerne! I'd love to know the excuses she must have made up for all of her other sins. "Leslie, I accidentally had 14 beers last night and killed a pedestrian. Do you think that was murder?" "Leslie, I accidentally ate a 20-pound turkey all by myself. Do you think that was gluttony?" "Well, LaVerne, I guess it depends on how you feel about it." Next entry Previous entry Go to diary entries Go back home |