| May 14, 2005 - It'll be a loooong summer |
| Dear Friends, it's going to be a loooong summer for I, the fantabulous JOHNNYLEEN, will not be going to Sweden this summer. I'm a bit disappointed, as I'm sure you are too, but I've resigned myself to the fact. You see, my boss and his boss told me they were uncomfortable with my absence during a big project we're working on for the next few months. What could JOHNNYLEEN do but graciously say he would accept their best judgment? Besides, the way I see it, I'll ask for 6 weeks off next summer. Wouldn't that be bootilicious? On the news front, my building is going condo and the landlord has offered the tenants a wonderful financial incentive to purchase; namely 25% of the rent tenants have paid will be contributed towards purchase. And since I'll be a first time home owner, I'll qualify for a low percentage mortgage. Now, of course, my unit has to be appraised first and it may be totally outside of my financial capabilities, but we'll just have to see, won't we? Now, no week would be complete without a freak, right? Last night I was at Ye Olde Watering Hole for the birthday of an acquaintance. When I walked in, a woman at the end of the bar started trying to chat me up about how good her fried chicken was. Perhaps it was a euphemism for a part of her body? Who knows? Anyway, she was so freaky that when she got up to go to the little girls' room, I moved to the other end of the bar and started chatting with a friend of mine. Everybody around me agreed this woman was freaky and so they were all clustered at my end of the bar because they couldn't deal with her. Apparently she's been there before and wanders from table to table telling people she wants their food if they're not going to eat all of it. Anyway, a guy at the end of the bar, whom I had never seen before, heard us talking about her. She came back, drank some more, and then headed off to the bathroom again. This guy gets up and follows her to the restroom! No one else noticed, but JOHNNYLEEN thought to himself, "Mmm hmmm, I know what's happening here." Sure 'nuff, he came back with her in tow and had her sit with him which caused everyone to promptly flee to the other end of the bar since they were now on my side of it. Then, of course, they left together. Now perhaps this guy was just a drunken Good Samaritan, but JOHNNLEEN hopes his dear readers realize that there are some people out there who will take sexual advantage of people with emotional or mental disorders. Oh well, who is JOHNNYLEEN to judge? After all, it may have meant that the poor woman at least had a place to stay for the night and a nice, firm sausage of desire to keep her company. Oh, other news, I'm a fat pig. Until Thursday I had not exercised at all except to go to my yoga class and my pilates class. Boy, I can tell it! Pants that once felt like they were going to fall off now affect my ability to breathe and my manly he-bosom is a pathetic wasteland of flab and flesh. But, as I said, Thursday was my first day back at exercise; I rode the bike in the morning and did the stairmaster in the afternoon. And I rode the bike again yesterday morning. So soon JOHNNYLEEN will be back in all his manly voluptuousness and fantabulousity! I know you can't wait; after all we all must do our part to Keep America Beautiful. Next entry Previous entry Go to diary entries Go back home |