| April 7, 2005 - My pretty pony |
| Dear Friends, you'll recall in my last entry that I said I went horseback riding while in Iceland. It was not a pretty sight! Several years ago JOHNNYLEEN took horseback riding lessons and actually wasn't bad at them. But if you had seen me trying to get up on that Icelandic horse, you would have thought I had never even been near one! I tried several times to haul my fat ass up on that animal, but to no avail. Finally, the attendant stretched her hand across the horse's back and helped me haul myself up. My friend, James, who had travelled with me, said, "You know, the rest of us thought you'd never get your butt up on that horse!" And I said, "It was pathetic, wasn't it?" Anyway, off we went at a very slow walk through lava fields. Mind you, the lava wasn't flowing; the fields were thousands of years old, I'm sure. So as we're walking along, a slight drizzle starts up followed by howling winds. Initially the winds were coming in from the side, but as we made a turn, we were hit with them full in the face. What with the fierce wind and rain, snot was rushing like the mighty Mississippi out of my nostrils! It was disgusting, but it really made me feel like I was roughing it. Then something rather frightening happened. We were going along single file when suddenly the horse in front of mine slipped in the mud and fell! The elderly gentleman riding it fell head over heels off of it, but managed to roll to the side to keep from being stepped on. My horse wanted to just keep plodding along like nothing had happened, but I managed to rein it in. The attendants all came rushing over to see if everything was OK, and when I saw the man stand up, I clucked to my horse and kept going. It was a bit scarey I must admit. When we got back to the stables, I thought for a while that I might not be able to get off the horse. I guess all those yoga lessons haven't made me as flexible yet as I would like to be. But finally, I got my poor self together and managed to leap off. My knees were as wobbly as a virgin's in shackles! After what seemed an interminable bus ride, we finally got back to the hotel and I hopped right into the shower to relieve my achey breaky joints. Now I'm sure you're all wondering how I ever managed to take horseback riding lessons if I had such difficulty with gentle Icelandic horses. Well, I was OK with the riding part; we were even learning how to jump when I had to stop lessons. But I always, always had trouble getting onto the bloody things. Not only that, at the stable where I was learning, we had to learn to clean the horse, saddle it, pick its hooves, etc. That hoof-picking business was always a nasty ordeal because the horses were always stepping in their own poo. Plus, they don't like to stand on three legs for very long, so you have to pick very quickly or they start wobbling and trying to put their fourth leg down. The other bit I didn't like was saddling the beasts. If they were on a tether, harness, or whatever you call it, I could do it without a problem. But once I was made to saddle a mare who was standing free in her stall. Horses fundamentally don't like being saddled and this little bitch was no different. She pranced around trying to keep her distance from me. And when that didn't work, she made every effort to pin me up against the wall with her smelly, horsey flanks. Now there's much more to tell about Iceland and I spent this past weekend in the Bustling Metropolis, where wonderful things transpired, as well. But I have to rush off to hateful ol' work and don't have time right now. So keep checking back to see if I've updated. Y'all come back now, hear? Next entry Previous entry Go to diary entries Go back home |