| March 6, 2004 - K. and the drunken mime |
| Dear Friends, last Friday my friend K. and I went out for many drinkies after work. I had bought these anti-hangover caplets called "Chasers" that I wanted to try out. To make a long story short regarding those beauties, I felt fine Saturday morning, but K. told me he wasn't his usual perky self. Perhaps he should have taken another couple of them before heading home. I had initially considered another brand of caplet called "Kick-It", but when I read the directions, you had to take them with water! Well, where we were going there wasn't much water to be had, whereas you could take the Chasers with anything. On top of that, you have to take Kick-It again in the morning. With all the water it calls for you to drink, how in the world are you supposed to get a buzz on? Anyway, after a few hours of non-stop partying, we decided to go to an Italian restaurant that serves pretty good food and isn't too expensive. The front of the restaurant has a long plate glass window. We were seated in front of that, with my back to it and K. facing it. We were almost through with our meal when K. said, "Oh my God!" I quickly turned around to see a bum jumping around outside. I turned back facing K. because I didn't want to give the guy any encouragement. And K. said, "Oh no, it's too late! He saw me looking at him and now he's performing mime. Right now he's pretending to fish." Well this went on for quite some time with the bum pretending to ride a horse, row a boat, etc. He was totally focussed on K. (perhaps because of K.'s luminous baby-blues), and was ignoring anyone else seated in front of the window. Our original plans had been to go to a clothing store after eating, but I pointed out to K. that if we left right then, the bum might follow us all over the place. So instead we went to the upstairs bar for some more drinkies to calm our shattered nerves. While K. was in the loo, I looked out of the bar window and saw that the bum had, indeed, given us up for lost and was headed on down the street at a very leisurely pace. JOHNNYLEEN has to say that was the first time in his life that a freak was attracted to someone other than himself. It was quite refreshing to see the look of horror on K.'s face without having to experience it myself. Now I think K. knows how I feel when I relate to him some of my "episodes". There was, however, an "episode" that K. and I got to experience together in all its raunchy beauty. We were once seated at one of those tall bar tables in a dive when this sleazy fellow with a long scraggly beard and nasty hair came up to us. He wasn't wearing a shirt either, because it was rather hot outside, though JOHNNYLEEN definitely disapproves of certain individuals (like this one) taking their shirts off regardless of the weather. He sauntered over to our table and in a "come-hither" way said, "Hiya fellas. Are you all interested in some wiener?" (He pronounced it "weeeeeener".) K. looked at me with shock, but I very calmy said, "No thank you. We're just here for drinks." And he said, "Aw come on. Don't you want some wiener?" And JOHNNYLEEN, being always polite thanked him again and said, "We're involved with other people and just came in for a drink." And this time he said, "Just 'cause you have somebody else don't mean you can't have no wiener." To which JOHNNYLEEN replied, "Thank you. But I'm afraid the answer is still no." At which point the sleazeball left. K. turned to JOHNNYLEEN and said, "JOHNNYLEEN, you handled that so well. I was about to get angry and order him to leave us alone, but you were cool as a cucumber." And I said, "Well, if you anger someone like that, you don't know but what they have a knife and will stab you faster than you can say 'The Fantabulous World of JOHNNYLEEN'. Besides, being the freak magnet that I am, I've learned how to diffuse situations like this with a polite, but firm, answer. Although in this case, I think he was looking for something a little firmer than an answer." Next entry Previous entry Go to diary entries Go back home |