| February 28, 2004 - Electra Woman and Dyna Girl |
| Dear Friends, a few weeks ago I saw a couple of things on TV that were so disturbing that I have to relate them here just as a way to work myself through the trauma. First of all, the fact that "Spongebob Squarepants" wasn't on at its regularly appointed time nearly sent me into conniptions. As if that weren't enough, what Nickelodeon had decided to replace it with nearly made me retch. The whole evening was devoted to Sid & Marty Krofft productions. I don't know if you've ever seen any of their shows, but they produced such unforgettable items as "H. R. Puffenstuff", "Lidsville", and "Sigmund the Sea Monster". Anyway, I caught the last few minutes of "Sigmund" while waiting vainly for "Spongebob" to start and may I just tell you how nauseated I felt by the end of it? First of all, Johnny Whitaker has got to be one of the ugliest child actors I've ever seen in my life. I've only seen one child uglier and that was a little girl in Iceland last summer who looked like she had Johnny Whitaker and Pippi Longstocking for parents. And Johnny's wild hair! Please tell me the hairdresser for that show ended up getting a job in something safe like bee-keeping instead! Anyway, the nearest I could tell in the 5 minutes I watched the show, Sigmund the Sea Monster had left home and was living with Johnny Whitaker while all the other sea monsters were looking for him for some reason or other. It ended with Johnny singing a song that went something like "Run, Sigmund and hide. You'd better stay inside. Blah, blah, blah, something, something, something, 'cause Sigmund's my friend." As if that wasn't bad enough, the vocalization had this weird echoing effect that didn't really add to the pleasure of hearing it. As Johnny sang, Sigmund ran around in circles and occasionally Johnny and his little brother would stretch vines across a path to trip up the evil, pursuing sea monsters. Maybe if I had been drunk I would have appreciated the show more. This little visual treat was then followed by some nonsense called "Electra Woman and Dyna Girl". After 5 minutes of that drivel, I finally turned the TV off. But I still feel compelled to tell you about what I saw of it. I think it was supposed to be some sort of take-off on "Batman and Robin" but with female leads. I gathered from the names that Electra Woman and Dyna Girl have all the mystical powers of electricity at their disposal in the pursuit of justice. Anyhoo, this episode dealt with an exhibit of King Arthur's treasures that were in danger of being stolen. The "museum" where the exhibit took place was merely a soundstage hung with yellow curtains. And the exhibit was being attended by a "crowd" of two people, not counting Electra Woman and Dyna Girl. It had one table with "artifacts" on it that I could never see quite clearly. I think the size of the room was to indicate to less discerning children that the exhibit was fantastically huge as opposed to a little rinky-dink table. The so-called artifacts weren't even locked under glass; they were just lying there loose on the table top! I'm sure it was just junk from the studio, like the best boy's lunch pail or the script girl's eyebrow liner all being passed off as ancient artifacts. Now the main artificact that the criminal genius, who was some sort of sorceror, was interested in was Merlin's full-length magic mirror. Can I just say puh-leeze? Why, even as a less-fantabulous-than-now child JOHNNYLEEN would have found it hard to believe that the Anglo Saxons had full-length mirrors! And even if they did, would they have put them into cheap frames? Why no, because mirrors were special. Even if they had had mirror frames, I doubt they would have been carved in an Early American Colonial style as this one was! It was as though the director asked, "Does anyone have a mirror at home we can use because we're too damned cheap to find a nice one?" So after this stupid mirror is stolen by the evil wizard, Electra Woman and Dyna Girl rush back to their headquarters, and then suddenly they're here, and then they're there. I never figured out quite how they went from place to place, unless, due to their electrical nature they were able to travel along the power lines down the highway and pop out of a wall socket on the other end. At every twist and turn Dyna Girl, who I think was supposed to be the lackluster sidekick, would say things like, "Golly gosh!" and "I'll put the kabash on him!" or stuff like that; I don't remember it verbatim since I couldn't hear everything over the sound of my own puking. Gee, I feel a lot better for having talked about it. Next entry Previous entry Go to diary entries Go back home |