| January 13, 2003 - Bootilicious is as bootilicious does |
| Dear Friends, one thing people have to realize is that JOHNNYLEEN is very self-indulgent. So on Friday, when I realized that I had a hankering for some juicy cow meat, I said to myself, "JOHNNYLEEN, you just trot your little fanny out to lunch and have a nice steak." So I did. I had a dee-lish filet mignon (medium rare), with steak fries and carrots. The little gin and tonic I had was just the right thing to wash it all down with, too! Yum, yum! Didn't I say something about trying to lose a little tonnage during the New Year? Ah well, the best laid plans of mice and men..... Mind you, I don't feel guilty, because before I left for my tasty repast, a colleague of mine showed me how to do crunches while sitting in a chair and I had done a few. It really isn't as easy as it looks. First of all, I had these big clunky HEAVY boots on since it was dress-down Friday and I had my fat butt perched precariously on the edge of an office chair. It really is difficult maintaining one's balance (and sense of decorum) while teetering literally on the brink of disaster with one's legs straight up in the air. Luckily, I have a private office so I was able to close the door, thus avoiding becoming the laughing stock of Ye Olde Place of Employment. (There have been instances when I haven't been so fortunate and people caught me doing all sorts of ridiculous, yet fun, things.) After work, I went over to Ye Olde Watering Hole. No one there was feeling any pain, including a table of teenagers there who, by the admission of one of them, had been drinking prior to getting to the restaurant. One of them chatted with me a bit, and finally it dawned on me that she was saying that one of her friends was interested in me. Dear Friends, JOHNNYLEEN is 29 and some months, so I was shocked, shocked I tell you, to hear this! I demurely said, "Well, all of your friends seem very cute and nice, but I'm substantially older, so I think it's better not to get involved." I honestly didn't know what to think of the whole episode and felt relieved when they all left. The next day I got up and cleaned my kitchen and bathroom with a vengeance. I used so much Clorox, I was nauseated for a good part of the afternoon. I then put on my Lee Press-On jeans and headed downtown for some dee-lish Eggs Benedict with a mimosa. That was then followed by muchos beers while watching music videos. I then went to another bar where this guy and I ended up talking about a "psychic" we both know from there. This guy firmly believes that Sabon is a real psychic whereas I'm skeptical. I've looked at his homepage just to see what it was like and he made the most outlandish claims about world peace and Secrets of the Ancients, etc. Also, whenever I see him, he's always talking about his outrageous sexual adventures, which all seem improbable at best! Anyway, the guy and I ended up agreeing to disagree. So I finally ended up coming back out to my neck of the woods to see what was going on at Ye Olde Watering Hole. It was only 10:00 p.m. and they had already locked up! However, I saw people still in there, so they let me in when I started banging on the door. The owner, after shutting down the place, had decided to let a few people stay on and boogie after hours. Well, Dear Friends, JOHNNYLEEN was in rare form. I stripped off my shirt while prancing around. And then I coyly held my shirt in front of me while I hiked down my jeans a little. All the women were screaming and clapping like mad! I felt just like I was on "American Idol" or something (a show I detest, but I certainly understand the attraction now)! My friend, Sally, kept touching my rear end (as she usually wants to do anyway), and I felt quite the boy toy! I can assure you that I was sore as all get out on Sunday from all the gettin' down on that dance floor! I think my next move should be to apply to be in a Missy Elliott video. Next entry Previous entry Go to diary entries Go back home |