Q: What's another name for Jell-O?
A Kool-Aid with hard-on.
***
Did you hear about the restaurant that promotes safe sex?
They write the bill on a condom so you can wine and dine your date,
and then stick her with the bill.
***
THE GREAT AUSSIE LOVE POEM
OF COURSE I LOVE YA DARLING
YOU'RE A BLOODY TOP NOTCH BIRD
AND WHEN I SAY UR GORGEOUS
I MEAN EVERY SINGLE WORD
SO YA BUM IS ON THE BIG SIDE
I DONT MIND A BIT OF FLAB
IT MEANS THAT WHEN I'M READY
THERES SOMETHIN THERE TO GRAB
SO YOUR BELLY ISNT FLAT NO MORE
I TELL YA, I DONT CARE
SO LONG AS WHEN I CUDDLE YA
I CAN GET MY ARMS AROUND THERE
NO SHEILA WHO IS YOUR AGE
HAS NICE ROUND PERKY BREASTS
THEY JUST GAVE INTO GRAVITY
BUT I KNOW YA DID YA BEST
IM TELLIN YA THE TRUTH NOW
I NEVER TELL YA LIES
I THINK IT'S VERY SEXY
THAT YOUV GOT DIMPLES ON YA THIGHS
I SWEAR ON ME NANNAS GRAVE
HOW THE MOMENT THAT WE MET
I THOUGHT U WAS AS GOOD
AS I WAS EVER GONNA GET
NO MATTER WOT U LOOK LIKE
ILL ALWAYS LOVE YA DEAR
NOW SHUT UP WHILE THE FOOTYS
ON AND GET ME ANOTHER BEER!
