John Smith gets home from work one day and finds his wife has been crying. "What's wrong" he asks.
"John, promise you won't get mad, but I went to see the new doctor today and he told me I've got a pretty pussy."
"WHAT?!?!" he shouts.
With that he grabs a baseball bat from the cupboard and storms down to the doctor's office and through reception. Without knocking he bursts into the doctor's private office.The doctor is in the process of giving an old lady a breast examination. She screams and tries to cover herself. Without waiting Mr. Smith charges up to the doctor, smashes the baseball bat down on the desk and shouts, "You flaming pervert! How dare you say my wife has a pretty pussy!"
The doctor replies "I'm sorry Mr. Smith but there has been a misunderstanding. I only told you're wife she has Acute Angina."
***
An old man in his eighties got up and was putting on his coat, when his wife said "Where are you going ?"
The elderly man replied "to the doctor.
Surprised his wife asked "Why, are you sick?"
"No" he said, "I'm going to get me some of those new Viagra pills."
With that his equally elderly wife got up out of her rocker and started putting on her sweater.
Surprised, he asked "Where are you going?"
"I"m going to the doctor too." she said.
"Why?" he questioned.
She matter of factly said "If you're going to start using that rusty old thing again, I'm going to get a tetanus shot".
***
It was a hot day in Minnesota. Olga hung the wash out to dry, put a roast in the oven, then went downtown to pick up some dry cleaning.
"Yeasus, it's hot," she said to herself as she walked down Main street on her way to the store. She passed by a air conditioned tavern and thought, "Vy nodt?" so she walked in and took a seat at the bar.
The bartender came up and asked her what she wanted to drink.
"Vell, Ya know," Olga said, "it vas so hot I tink I vant a cold beer.
"The bartender asked, "Anheuser Busch?"
Olga blushed and replied, "Vell its fine, tanks, und how's yer pecker?"
***
A wife went in to see a therapist and said, "I've got a big problem, doctor. Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets out an outrageous yell."
"My dear," the doctor said, "that's completely natural. I don't see the problem."
"The problem is," she complained, "he keeps waking me up!"
