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| ATTRACTING MEN - written by a man - cause we know what we like |
| This is not about snaring that "special man." It's about attracting men in general. If you attract a lot of men then you should find that special guy somewhere among them. Attracting men is not hard. It doesn't take a whole book to tell you how - mostly common sense and a little cold, hard truth. |
| First, you should know a few things about us. |
| We like to drink beer, watch sports, go fishing, see things explode, watch large things collide, work on cars and get greasy, drive fast, go into the woods and shoot animals, sweat, burp, belch, fart, spit, yell, brag, strut, be loud, obnoxious, buy expensive toys we don't need and look at naked women, all of which are qualities that, since you want to attract us, you obviously admire. It's easy to see why you would want to attract us. As a matter of fact, I just farted. See, we're just plain cool. |
| So you don't have a pretty face, great legs and a nice butt? Still no problem. Just hang around us a lot, look available and act like a puppy. That works too. It also helps if you wiggle a lot. |
| Ok, not too serious so far but are you beginning to get the point? If you're female and you're there, we're attracted. We're simple that way so you have a pretty good head start. Your job is to cause us to be attracted to you specifically, no matter what you look like (within reason) but most importantly, on your terms. |
| Note the keywords: "On Your Terms." |
| As I said, we're pretty much attracted to anything that walks by so if you just want men to like you then you already know how to do that - just stand still and whenever a man asks you something, just say, "Ok." Bingo, you're the most popular girl in town. But, of course, that's not what you're looking for, is it? |
| So, let's define "terms." Since this is not an interactive site we will have to assume the following: you want men, in general, to see you as someone that they would like to meet, be around and perhaps ask out, based on your personal qualities which, incidentally, is exactly the same thing that men want. |
| Remember this, when we see you, we see a girl and we expect you to act like a girl, at least within reason - just like you expect us to act like a guy. If you find some of the following a little too "girly" for you, just refine it to fit your personality. Or, if you want to be today's modern "I Am Woman, Hear Me Roar" type, then their are other sites such as www.todaysempoweredwoman.crap written by women who have plenty of time to write since they, obviously, don't have a date tonight. Up to you. |
| OK. Here are the basics: |
| We like women who look happy. Not bubbling over and smiling ear-to-ear all the time, just reasonably happy with themselves and their environment. It makes them look pleasant and easy going so we're not afraid of them. That's right. We're scared as hell of you. A lot of what you read here is about you helping us get over our fear enough so we can act on our attraction to you. |
| Be nice, friendly, to all men, not just the ones you really like. Other men will see that and will see you as being approachable. Like you, we're intimidated by the opposite sex. If we know that you're the type of person who is receptive to others then we will be more likely to approach you, get to know you, and like you. |
| When you see a man you know, always acknowledge that he is around and that you noticed him - even if only a quick smile or wave - so that he, and other men, see that you are not aloof, again - approachable. |
| When you're talking with more than one man at a time, include all the men present in the conversation so that, in the future, each will know that they are able to get your attention as individuals and will seek it out. We all want attention. Again, the more men that find you approachable, the more to choose from. |
| I can't stress this enough. Remember, there will always be a lot of men who find you attractive but it's all about approachability. Even fabulously beautiful women may often find themselves lonely if they have an approachability problem so let all men see that you are approachable. The reason you want all men to see that is because you don't want them saying to themselves, "Well, she's approachable to some guys but maybe not me and I don't want to risk rejection." You might miss out on the perfect guy because of that. |
| Don't compete with us - you lose. You may win, but you lose. Games, sports, physical activities - that's fine, we even kinda like losing to you in those - but the general "anything you can do I can do better" attitude and you lose. We don't like guys who do that either but, unfortunately, many of us do. |
| Do you giggle occasionally? Go ahead. We like that. Not necessary but if you do - we think it's cute. |
| If you think something is really funny do you laugh uncontrollably without regard for what people think?....good for you - we do to.....as long as it's not a phony laugh. |
| We like it when women fuss over us a little - try walking by a guy you've never met before and just causally reach out and straighten his collar or something - don't say anything, just smile and keep walking. If you ever do meet him he will be your puppy......has something to do with mom, I guess. |
| Do you have a whole lot of class....dump it....unless you pull it off in a very feminine way, then it's all right. Having class is fine just be careful how much. It can be boring to others unless you can turn it off when not needed. |
| Dress Goth? Bye. - Got really long nails - yuk! |
| Dress with the crowd - but just a hair better. In other words, fit in but always look just a teeny bit better groomed and dressed that everybody else. Not too much, just a teeny bit. Oh, and be clean. |
| Never say, "F--K!" I don't care how accepted it has become, deep down, we don't like hearing women say it. Mom didn't say it and guess what, there's a hell of a lot of "mom" in what we like about women. |
| Never talk about how great some guy is. If you do, we'll all slink away somewhere cause we can never compete with how great some guy sounds when a woman is telling the story. Just don't talk about other guys at all, if you don't have to, because it makes us think that we might not be the only guy in the world that women should like - god forbid. |
| If you are around a group of men, or women, and are being ignored - get away from them. Never try to be the center of attention but don't let men see others ignore you. Every member of a group should have, at least, equal value. Don't allow other men to see you as a seemingly valueless member. File this away as "maintaining the appearance of popularity." |
| When talking to men, don't blow your breath towards them. You never know what it smells like. If you had a garlic coated onion for lunch and you blast them with it once, they'll think about it every time they're near you. Hard to live down. There are ways to talk, even close up, that won't cause this. Learn them. |
| Never tell downright dirty jokes - really suggestive jokes are Ok and kinda cute if you look slightly embarrassed when you tell them. If you're around a group that is telling dirty jokes, you can laugh but don't offer any of your own. But, don't put down the group for telling them. In other words, don't get all snotty on them. |
| "Men don't like intelligent women." Wrong! Very wrong. It seems like a lot of women believe that. Intelligent women are interesting, fun to talk to and sexy as hell. We all want one. |
| Better get this straight right now - we're instinctively attracted to women, in general, for purely mating reasons. After we get to know them, as individuals, it's a different story but keep in mind that this is the basic reason we are attracted to you. You may not like this and you may not believe it but that won't change it. If a guy tells you that it's not true...well...that's his way of telling you that he's different from other guys and you should like him best. Actually, you shouldn't like him best because he's a liar and you'll never be able to trust him. |
| So: |
| Go ahead. Wiggle that butt when you walk. Hell with what the other girls think. By god we love that butt wiggle. Damn it; let's see some leg. I mean, jeez, wear a dress once in a while. Sexist, you say? Hey, you asked! Hell, the President of the United States wants to see some leg...so does the Pope, so do I........in fact, send me a picture....(haha....just kidding). Don't flaunt yourself, that's trashy, but remember that we really, really like your body. Attract us with it and we'll get all caring, sensitive and appreciative of your other qualities later. |
| Don't sleep around, or rather, don't let it be known if you do. Actually, go ahead and screw your brains out if you want, just keep quiet about it. Each and every one of us want to nail you and think it's fine if you sleep with us but terrible if you sleep with someone else. That's right, we each think that every woman should be a virgin till we get our grubby hands on them - I know, we're stupid - double standard and all that - just don't mess around with the concept. It's an illusion we don't even understand ourselves. Once you have us safely and securely attracted, then you can tell us how dumb we are about it - but wait till then. |
| When you meet men, follow up. Go out of your way to be attentive the next time you see them. Hook them into your circle of men that are attracted to you. The more you've got, the more you'll get. |
| We like girls with long hair. We like short hair too but we really like long hair. Oh, what the hell, we just like girls with hair (as long as it is only on their head - and their... well... you know). |
| To sum up: just be nice. Be approachable. Let men see that you are approachable. Be clean. Dress decently. Pay attention to us individually. Don't act dumb. Be around guys as much as you can - the more that like you, the more to choose from. Work at it and you'll have a whole herd of men around you. You don't have to be a beauty, you just have to know some of the secrets and be willing to use them. |
| Good hunting. |
| A word to young girls. All this stuff will work just as well for you. But, and trust me on this, don't have sex till you're at least 17. Hey, go ahead and start building your herd of men - get a head start - just don't have sex with them. It will do you no good. I could write a book on all the complicated reasons why you shouldn't and, believe me, they're complicated. It won't make guys like you any better. It won't make you more popular. You will run a hell of a lot of risks. I know, I'm just an older person telling you to be good - well, that's not true - darlin, when you turn 18, look me up and I'll nail you myself but wait till you're at least 17 before you start with sex. Trust me, I don't lie to women. |
| Check out more great tips on attracting guys (humor) click here and go to the bottom of the page that opens. |
| Visit: www.awfullyfunny.com |
| So, how can you attract us and get all this special good stuff for yourself? Simple, just have a pretty face; great legs and a nice butt and we'll be attracted. We don't require anymore than that. |
| Johnnie McCoy |